Have a heart...

Calling all Big Hearts!
Make sure to mark your calendars for the Building Hope Benefit Concert, October 14th 2005 at WestPortal Church in Saskatoon, SK.
The line up is one to take seriously, and could be the best indie/hardcore show in the 306 this fall.
Whittaker, Captain, Silence Through Injustice, The Reception, and Means are all scheduled to kick various amounts of Bottom for a good cause.
All 5 bands have PureVolume sites that you should definitely check out.
Tickets will be sold in advance (at scotts parables) and at the door ($10 either way).
Contact Zach at moshinforjesus@Yahoo.com for more info.
Make sure to tell your friends, cause the bands playing are travelling from all around Western Canada and agreed to play for nothing but gas money.
Have a heart.

(following note by Zach Lucky )

The main reason we are putting the show on is because of dwayne harms.
I am sure many of you know him or heard the story of his passing after loosing a short battle to cancer (he blog his journey through cancer, here is the site. http://dhjourney.blogspot.com )
SO make sure to check that out. I could see and hear his dreams for the church. He wanted it to grow.

Right now the church is trying to buy the building which we are in and we have to raise a LOT of money before that will ever happen, and we only have until december. This isn't going to happen with just us, we need Your help guys.

Please please give me a hand here.
Please forward this e-mail to as many people as you know, put it in your msn names, post it on blogs and chat forums.
Just tell all of your friends at school, and if you would like a poster or a few, I have a ton left that need to go up.
Just ask me.
Guys if you would help me out with this just a bit it would be a huge blessing.
And Please come to the show, All of the bands have caught the vision and are coming for very little money, easpecially the reception (they are driving over 10 hours for the show)
Please come support the cause and these great bands.

Dogs are forever in the push-up position...

My parents are the worst procrastinators ever. Remember a year ago? When I said I was getting contacts the next week? Yeah. me too.
Now its many weeks later.. in fact a year and a bit more later, and Im going in for the first of my two appointments. Finally!
Your probably thinking why didn't I call them myself?...Well.. Shut up..thats why.

On another note

I am offically starting up a fanclub.
A fanclub for what you ask?
A fanclub for Leahs Blog ( Seriosly, its the best blog ever. funny..witty...insightful. what more could you ask for? If you answer that with anything. you are selfish. haha)

So sign up now and you will recive a free....comic. drawn especially for you...by me.
In dedication of Leahs love for my comics I guess ( That and I couldnt think of anything else )

So dont delay! Sign up today!

And to end. A picture of a flying squirrel. Because its the strangest animal in the animal kingdom. and it looks halarious

Best thing ever = Scaring babies

Seriosly..
Everybody thinks im cruel but I dont think anyone can deny that scaring babies is fun.
The look on their face is PRICELESS I tell you.
I guess thats how I look when people scare me though because people seem to enjoy it as well.

Note to everyone out there: Dont let me near your kids. haha

Man. You know at the begining of the school year. You vow to keep everything clean and keep your binder organized. But then on the first day theres already rotting food in the bottom of your locker?
Thats like me.Those vows never ever stick with me. So im not even going to try this year to be organized because I know its just going to fail miserably. Oh wait. It already has

Speaking of being organized though.I moved my room downstairs yesterday and im happy. Its so much more roomy and more secluded.
I love my room. Its somewhere where I can escape to.
It wasnt much of a sanctuary before yesterday because my room was right across from my parents. Now its just below. haha.
This way I can play music and nobody cares. And the window is on the side of the house where the morning light comes in through the windows.
The only downside is im creeped out of my window because its ground level and im used to having it where nobody can be a creep and look in. Not that anyone does. Its just something that COULD happen. haha

For the last random comment of the day.Why is it so fun to jump in leaves?

This kid totaly looks like hes either having the time of his life. Or hes scared out of his mind and was forced to do it. Either way its halarious.
Whenever I try to jump in a pile of leaves. I either have a cruddy pile and I hit the ground really hard or the leaves are all gooey and gross. But its fun!

Im going to end this post with another picture of jumping in leaves. Because its funny

Oh yah. Im gonna follow the trend I set and copy Jess once again


10 FAVORITES
Favorite Color:Green
Favorite Food:Corn on the cob and mashed potatoes
Favorite Band: i don't even know right now
Favorite Song: I also dont even know right now
Favorite Movie: Donnie Darko
Favorite Sport: To watch - basketball or volleyball To play - soccer
Favorite Season: Fall and summer
Favorite Day Of the Week: friday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: mint chocolate chip
Favorite Time of Day: 8pm-1am

9 CURRENTS

Current Mood: kind of annoyed
Current Taste: my mouth
Current Clothes: blue bunnyhug and jeans
Current Toenail Color: normal
Current Time: 4:03
Current Surroundings: My downstairs living room
Current Thoughts: Why is he trying so hard

8 FIRSTS
First Best Friend: katie
First Kiss: who said I've had one?
First Screen Name: probably like, steph or something stupid
First Pet: buttercup my hamster..aww...poor hamster
First Piercing: ear lobes
First Crush: haha...Jeff peard I think
First Music: Backstreet's Back by BSB
First Car: cutless ceirra...an oldsmobile...woo

7 LASTS
Last Cigarette: never ever. yuck.
Last Drink: pop
Last Car Ride: to the school this morning
Last Kiss: never ever
Last Time you said I love you and meant it: today
Last Phone Call: My dad
Last CD played: Underoath i think

6 HAVE YOU EVER
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Guy/Girl Friends?: nope
Have You Ever Broken the Law: yes, not anything serious though (jay walking..oooooooh!)
Have You Ever gone Sky diving: not yet
Have You Ever gone Skinny Dipping: no
Have You Ever Been on TV: I dont think so
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: Nope

5 THINGS
1 Thing You're Wearing: My rings
1 Thing You've Done Today: cut a bunch of flowers stems
1 Thing You Can Hear Right Now: Dashboard confessional
1Thing You Can't Live Without: Music
1 Thing You Do When You're Bored: Play music. talk to myself

4 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TODAY
1. school
2. outside
3. my house
4. my benches

3 PEOPLE THAT YOU LOVE
1. Jesus ( haha holy sunday school asnwer batman!)
2. my best friends
3. YOU

2 CHOICES
1.black or white: black
2. hot or cold: cold

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO
Tell some people straight up what they need to hear

Look at the stars, and how they shine for you...


Stargazing is my favorite thing ever.
At Shekina the stars were the most amazing thing ever. The sky was so clear you could see like every single star including a bunch of falling stars.
Me and Greg star gazed for probably over an hour while we were playing "The Amazing Race"

Stars are my favorite gift from God aside from sunsets and sun rises. But the night sky is definatly up there.



Did you rise the sun for me. Or paint a million stars that I might know your majesty"

Bright Eyes - Falling out of love at this volume


tell me what you wanted to hear
let me do the right thing
let me do the wrong thing
and if it's ever this clear i will only say it once
*just let me turn the amps way up so you can hear nothing
and if i die tonight
then i guess i die tonight let me go on*
just say what you wanted to say
i cannot stand these talks dear
they only get us nowhere
it's never resolved we only run around you always
*tell me anyone could be just like me
if it was a different time and a different place to be
you would go on

These knuckles break before they bleed...


So I just got in from the optomitrist.
Who else hates that place? I do.
One part of it is, they make you put your chin on this thing and look into a machine and they say "Ok we are going to blow a slight puff into your eye"
So your thinking. Ok, It wont be too bad. Then without warning a big puff invades your eye and dries it out when you least expect it. Which results in you hitting your forehead on the bar your supposed to rest it on.
I jumped every time so they had to do it 3 times on my right eye and 5 times on my left.
Why do they feel the need to do that? Seriosly. Out of enjoyment of watching people jump and hit there head on the stupid bar and make them do it again? Ridiculous i tell you.

In other news. This weekend is going to add on the streak of not being able to sleep in since school has started. weeooo
Im a youth sponsor for the junior youth retreat and were going to shekinah. And im the only female sponsor....woo. Im in for a treat arent I? Oh well. it should be fun. Im kind of excited.

Oh well tomorow im going to Rickys all day grill. Iv never been there and Im told im in for a treat.

UPDATE:
The last half of the day our physed and art class got together and we were all presented with "awards" from our camping trip.
And some awards and their punishments worth noting were:

Kendall and Steph:
Kendall never wore his headphones the whole week and Steph forgot the buns.
So steph had to make "bun-phones" for kendall and he had to wear them through break and get 20 people to notice that he was wearing them. halarious
then they had to make up new words to 5 songs using the word bun
ie: I like big buns and i cannot lie or jingle buns jingle buns

Me and Brennan:
Grumpiest campers ( apparantly )
So we had to have a staring contest and whoever smiled first lost. *i won by the way*

Me Brennan Cody Kim and Matt
Loudest at night singing camp and prarie veiw songs
So we had to make up a song using pots and pans and it was called " ode to volume "

There was alot more but im too lazy to think of them all..if you really want to know.ask me

So until next time.
Anderson out...
(haha im such a nerd)

Everything you will ever want to know about Steph...and more


eyes
1 what color are your eyes? brown
2 what color were they when you were born? brown probably
3 what color are your lashes? black or brown... I dont know
4 do you have bigger pupils than others or smaller? Im not sure. probably bigger
5 have you ever counted the number of times you blink in a second? nope
6 do you wear contacts? on thursday I will
7 do you wear glasses? yes
8 did you ever have eye surgery? no
9 what was the last thing that poked you in the eye? my finger probably
10 can you touch your eyes without flinching or does it just gross you out? it doesnt bother me
11 how often do you look into people's eyes when you talk? i try to always but sometimes i look away so that i don't make them uncomfortable
12 what's your favorite eye color?: green
13 do you ever just go up to someone and look into their eyes because you want to know their eye color? it's been known to happen..im a creep
14 do you wear sunglasses often? never
15 what eye color do you wish you had? green
16 can you cross your eyes? sure can
17 do you roll your eyes constantly? i roll my eyes but not constantly
18 what's your favorite color? (yes, your favorite color to look at): brown, olive green and black
19 what's the prettiest season and why? beginning of fall. i think thats a givin though
20 who's the hottest or cutest person you ever saw? this guy we saw on the lrt in edmonton...*daydreams* seriously.( stole that one from jess)
21 what was the last thing you read (book wise)? thr3e
22 who was the last person you wanted to see? haha...yah
23 what was the last thing you watched on tv? simpsons
24 do you read the newspaper much? never unless its comics
25do you read magazines much? not really
26 do you read much in general? i NEED to read more
27 what's the first thing you see if you look over and past your computer screen? a wall...
28 did you ever see it hailing? of course, has anyone in saskatchewan not seen it hail?
29 don't you hate it when you have sleep in your eyes (like the crusty crap)? haha no. its fun to pick out
30 close your eyes. (after you read the whole question, dummy lol) are there lights still in your lids in with the dark? no
31 can you sleep with a light on? yeah
32 how light is it outside? like, midafternoon light
33 can you roll your eyes into the back of your head? yes but it hurts

ears

1 do you like your ears? No i have a gross nubby thing
2 do you have them pierced? yup but i dont wear earrings
3 how many times? just two
4 what's your favorite sound? a guy playing the piano or guitar or screaming ( not randomly but in song)
5 what's the worst noise in the world? the sound of rubbing mini mitts together or straws rubbing the side of slurpee cups
6 are you listening to any music? if so, what song is it: Ghost of tragedy by day of contempt
7 what do you hear around you? Day of contempt
8 what's your favorite song? thats impossible to answer
9 can you wiggle your ears? haha no, but i wish i could
10 when was the last time you stuck your fingers in your ears so you couldn't hear something and why? During the pre show to the used...it was like...a screechy sound that was stupid
11 do your ears have attached lobes or unattached? ummm...unattatched
12 do your ears get red when your embarrassed or any other emotion roars through your body? i don't think so
13 what was the last thing someone said to you? Steph! remeber turn out the lights sing the song. boom boom out go the lights -my dad
14 is it annoying to get that ringing noise in there? no it prevents silence
15 do you hear voices? not usually
16 what was the last thing you heard that you rather didn't? lol adams your mom joke that went horribly wrong...ew
17 what was the last thing you wanted to hear, but never heard it? i don't know
18 what was the last piece of advice you were given? dont do that or youll get stung.but did i listen? no. did they sting me? no
19did you ever put a rubber band around your ear? i'm sure i have
20 go and open the door to outside and what's the first thing you hear? i'm too lazy to actually get up and go listen, but i'm pretty sure i'd hear kids yelling, a car or both

mouth

1 do you ever stop talking? not usually
2 who did you talk to last? my dad, not counting my family, david or jess
3 what was the last thing you said? "see you later!"
4 did you brush your teeth today? of course
5 how many times do you usually? at least once, usually more
6 who are you talking with now? on msn. zach
7 who do you wish you were talking to? someone....
8 who was the last person to call you? laurel
9 who was the last person you called? laurel
10 who was the last person to IM you? zach
11 who was the last person you IMed? zach
12 do you talk to yourself? yeah
13 do you mind? not at all
14 the stupidest thing you said in the past 48 hours?i have no idea. i say alot of dumb things
15 do you sing? of course
16 do you sing in the shower? only when no one else is home
17 do you sing in public? rarely
18 do you hum or sing while walking down the halls? ya
19 are you outspoken? no
20 are you opinionated? i have them, but don't speak them often though
21 do you speak your mind? depends on the circumstances
22 how often do people tell you to shut up, jokingly or not? all the time
23 are you a public speaker type? yes and no
24 do you stutter? sometimes when im excited
25how many languages do you speak? one fluently, and i'm a poser french speaker
26 how often do you scream? whenever i'm given the opportunity
27 are you loud or quiet? loud
28 does your mouth reflect your personality on the inside? what?
29 who has the coolest/sweetest voice? bill just cuz he has a strong accent and i like colins
30 how do you get your voice heard and ideas out? i talk loud
31 do you often write letters? never
32 what was the last song you sang? Dont remeber
33 what's your usual greeting to a friend? *insert name here*!!!
34 what's your usual greeting to an adult? "hi"
35 what's your usually greeting on the phone? "hello?"
36 what's your favorite food? corn on the cob
37 what's your favorite gum? dont rightly know. probably cotton candy bubblicious
38 what's your favorite word? crud. or random
39 what's your favorite drink? peach juice
40 is your tongue pierced? nope but i want it done
41 do you like tongue piercings?yes
42 how about lip piercings? on some people
43 ever have braces, how long?nope
44 do you have a retainer, for how long? no
45 can you curl your tongue? yep
46 can you whistle, on inhale or exhale? both, wooot!
47 do you grind your teeth? in my sleep and when im nervous
48 did you have your first kiss yet and with who? haha no
49 did you ever french?no
50 how many people have you ever kissed? none..besides my parents lol
51 off the kissing subject already... did you ever have a filling? yeah
52 if so, how many? i'm not exactly sure
53 how many cavities? 2 or so
54 are you a lip gloss addict? no
55 how about chap stick? no
56 do you like the dentist? NO!
57 do you have all four wisdom teeth? zero, but i can feel them coming
58 ever have any teeth pulled?no
59 how about a root canal? nope
60 go to a mirror and count how many teeth you have. how many? 24
61 did you lose all your baby teeth yet? yeah yeah
62 if not, how many to go? ...
63 what was the last thing you ate? fries
65 do you bite? haha yes
66 how often do you snap at people? only sometimes if i'm angry enough
67 are your teeth straight? i guess pretty
68 can you flip you tongue over? both ways
69 can you snap your tongue really loud?yeah i guess
70 can you pop your lips? yeah

nose

1 is your nose pierced? no
2 do you like pierced noses? depends on who
3 current scent? coconut
4 no coke sniffing, right? you know it
5 what about pixi stix up the nose ever? ew no that would hurt
6 do you hold your nose to swim? nope
7 can you flare your nostrils? yes
8 do you have freckles on the bridge of your nose? nope
10 do you pick it sometimes? (be honest): ewwwww
11 do you push your nose to keep your balance? um...?
12 what's the worst scent? any classroom after another class has been in there or like...tar
13 what's the best scent? boys that smell good. rain
14 what deodorant do you use? haha i use guy deodarant old spice
15 what's your favorite cologne? whatever smells good
16what's your favorite perfume? my deisel stuff
17 what do you use? dream, green tea deseil
18 does scent matter in the opposite sex (not as in they shower or not but their cologne or perfume)? yes
19 do you blow your nose in public? no, never
20 look around. find a random thing and and smell it. describe it's scent. and then say what it was: metally. a little toy car

touch

1 what does you keyboard feel like? a keyboard?
2 what's the best feeling in the world (emotionally)? feeling god moving or making someone happy
3 what's the best feeling in the world (physically)? bass shaking your body at a concert, hugs, my hair being played with
4 what's the worst feeling in the world (emotionally)? anxiety, stress, worry, rejection
5 what's the worst feeling in the world (physically)? being sick to my stomachor really itchy
6 what do your feet feel like at the moment? sat on
7 what do your hands feel like at the moment? normal heat
8 what does your head feel like at the moment? good i guess
9 what does your bladder feel like, especially after this? comfortable
10 what do your legs feel like at the moment? crossed and asleep
11 what do your shoulders and arms feel like at the moment? fine
12 what does your butt feel like at the moment? kind of numb
13 what does your neck feel like at the moment? toasty warm
14 are you cold? no
15 are you comfortable? not really
16 where are you? my computer room
17 who was the last person you hugged? laurel
18 who was the last person that pushed you? I have no idea, i was at a concert
19 who was the last person that you pushed? someone at that concert
20 when was the last time you fell over? yesterday or the day before
21 does music calm you and your nerves? yes
22 if not, then what makes you chill?
23what stresses you out? school, driving with my friends around
24 when was the last time you touched a doorknob? according to my calculations...i dont know
25 do you crack your knuckles?aaaaallll the time
26 what's your current emotion? content
27 ever think you were in love? no
28 how many times have you fallen for the opposite sex? several times, but not hardcore or anything
29 what's the worst season (in feeling wise of course)? spring blech, it gets my pant legs wet
30 how do you feel now, after that long survey? relived

It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door


So this weekend was full of enjoyment/ lack of sleep.
On friday morning our grade 12 class left to go camping at memorial lake. Im not too keen about that lake but hey. It was alright.
It was pretty cold up until the last day and at nights I almost froze my face off I swear, I was wearing a hoodie, a winter jacket, mitts and a wool touque and I was still freezing.

All in all it was a pretty eventful trip from water/land polo ( which was really cold but hey i still played in the water haha ) to playing Iv never around the campfire.

But definatly the best part of the weekend was the Underoath/Alexisonfire/ The Used ( there was another band that I missed. I heard they were good but i didnt catch there name so if anyone knows can you inform me please? ) And hanging out with Laurel and seeing Zach again after I found them that is. I saw tons of people there that I knew and really didnt expect to see there so that was sweet.

But anyways...I got lost coming there...haha yah...thats right, Lost going to prairie land park...shut up.
Anyways. As a result of that madness I missed the first band. But came in time to see Underoath. Which is who I came for. So i was happy
They put on an insanly good show. They have so much energy when they play and they sound really good live. To be honest I didnt expect that.
They put on the best show Iv been to I think. I was blown away.
They played almost all my favorites and a new song which i thought was pretty sweet. So really. I had a perma smile on all night.
I still dont understand how someone can drum and sing at the same time. But hey.

But I really respect them because near the end of their concert they said "we do everything we do because of Jesus Christ."
Thats awesome to see seeing as right after that The Used came out and were just dropping F bombs left and right and getting everyone to " lift there middle fingers into the effing air" I stayed for 2 or 3 songs of theirs and then Me lance David Thomas and Steph decided wed rather go get some subway...so we did.
Its awesome to see them still playing for the glory of God and still rocking out and having fun at a " non christian" joint.

So all in all. Best weekend ever.

Im just a fool for you...

My week can be summed up as so. Sometimes Gods plans definatly arent my plans.

It says in the bible that God wants to give you the desires of your heart. And im starting to think one I asked for isnt one of the desires he wants to give me right now.
I prayed about something. I asked for a clear answer. and I think I got it. The answer was "wait"
Thats possibly the worst answer ever.
But you know. Im alright with that.
Im bummed forsure. but you know. God obviosly has bigger plans for me at the moment.

I got this e-mail tonight and heres what it said

Relationships
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep and fullfilling relationship with one another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God says, "No! Not until you are satisfied, filled and content with being loved by me alone. I love you my child.
Until you discover that in me is your satisfication, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else.
Exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning and wishing. Allow me to bring that person to you. You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep listening to and learning the things I tell you. You just wait! That's all. Don't worry, and don't look around at the things other people have or the things I give them.
ou just keep looking up to me or you will miss what I want to show you. When you are ready I will surprise you with a love more wonderful than you could ever have dreamed of.
You see, it will happen when you are ready and when the one I have for you is ready. I am working this very minute to have you both ready at the same time. Until both of you are satisfied exclusively with me and the life that I have planned for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me.
This my dear one is perfect love. And I want you to have this wonderful love, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me. to enjoy materially and concertely that everlasting union of perfection and love that I offer you with myself.
Please know that I love you dearly. Believe it and you will be satisfied.
Just remember this.
Love Your Daddy


So that was pretty cool and definatly cleared up alot of things. Im also thinking the whole giving up music thing to spend time with God ties in with this whole crazy plan

But instead of worrying and complaining im going to go along with it. I dont know where it will take me but I know it will be far greater and more rewarding than I can imagine

But I dunno. If you guys could pray for me if youd like...that would be awesome. ( you know . patience. those kind of things )

Oh yah if anyone who reads this knows any details..such as names..I dont REALLY want the whole internet world to know. so dont...say anything haha.

Like a shout through an empty sanctuary. Speak but a whisper,I’ll hear a sermon...


I think my lack of sleep last night has given me too much time to think.
Right now I'm stuck in a state of mind that I don't want to have. Something isn't right, but I don't know what, and I don't know what to do about it.
It's frustrating to see that something in me is incomplete, but not knowing what's missing.

*sigh*

On friday we leave for our grade 12 camping trip. And im not as excited as I was before. Why you ask? Because its going to be freakin cold! Uuugh... Whats more depressing than knowing winters coming? Nothing I say.

But I guess it has its benifits. Fall = Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving = food
Also I think fall is my favorite season ever. Even though its cold and everythings dying and the fact that school comes with fall. Its absolutly gorgeouse!



I love the colors and I love the sound of the wind rushing through the leaves and pushing the already fallen ones across the ground.
I love taking peaceful fall sunset walks, and watching the leaves break free of the trees they clung onto and gently twirl to the ground.
And how whenever the wind blows or a car drives by, it stirs up a whirlwind of beautiful colors.


Now I just wish I had my camera so I could take pictures. But noooo! It got stolen.
Im a curse when it comes to cameras. Its also very ironic how thats what I want to do after school.
Boo urns.

Watch me die - Underoath


I lay as this sacrifice to this unholy altar
The evil inside Satan; Satan sit and watch me die
Demented screams, tortured beings, where's your hope,where's your smile, there was none
Life of lies gone, gone no more
So upset, so distraught, I'm sorry, I'm Sorry... I live for the Lord
Watch me die no longer I am alive
My purpose no more... I live for Christ
Dead to sin, only begin, imagine what's for Soldier of Christ
Changed with a new beginning, blood of the lamb, white washed sins
Forgive me God for all of these years of my transgressions
I cry renewed, I cry renewed This world means nothing to me
My life changed I now see Crucified with Christ,the old self left with the rest of this world, rest of this world
Kneel before his throne, home now from this journey
I see my father in his arms finally found
This path I have chosen is hard but I'll make it with my saviors help
I survive this hell till the end I'll stand true
Eternal life, ready for the fight that the evil brings
No giving in... I'm freeThe fire burns engulfing all the victims in it's path, no where to run
Over taken they give in to surrender to the Lord once, and for all
No longer keeping quiet, no longer standing still,no longer giving in, no longer going back
I stand strong praying for love always to be in my heart



Those lyrics are intense. Sorry about the two posts a day but I thought I needed to show you guys them


the song sounds kind of creepy but really cool

We're nothing short of invinsible...

Song playing : Underoath - Its dangerous buisness walking out your front door


I love looking forward to things. I think thats what keeps me motivated to finish off the school week. Like the Grade 12 camping trip this weekend then right after that the UNDEROATH concert! Im so excited to hang out with some of my favorite people from camp and the best part is its at a freaking sweet concert.
But after this weekend I dont think I have anything to look forward to so thats going to stink.

Todays a day that I just feel like keeping in my headphones and ignoring the world. But after this weekend I know I shouldnt do that anymore and its already proving to be difficult. I do it on impulse. Turn on my cd player or sit down on the computer and put on music. Its only the first day after the weekend. and Iv already spent the majority of my day listening to music. That or at least half.

Ugh sorry im rambling. Im really bored I have double spare. One before lunch and one after. And some of you may ask why im not at home. I have my reasons. good reasons. Trust me on that.

Lastly.I still feel sick from last night.
Who all will join my in boycotting McDonalds forever?

This is the first day of my life. Im glad I didnt die before I met you...

Song playing: Alexisonfire - polaroids of polarbears

Ugh.. I feel so distraught right now. My thoughts arent processing the way they should its like a billion words running through my head in diffrent directions, crashing into one another. And I know I should be doing something but im not. For reasons that I dont know. Im worrying for no reason and its really stupid.
I already can tell im not gonna get sleep tonight. And I dont even know the reasoning behind this jumble...uuugh I wish it would just leave my head hurts...

On another note..

I just got in from heritage and boy was it fun.
I had some amazing talks with some people and got to know others alot better.
I had next to no sleep and many halarious conversations as the result

But one of things I wanted to focus on here is something I definatly didnt want to hear from God ..or anyone for that matter. And if you know me this is a big deal.

So during chapel one night. Lance is sharing about how he has alot of cd's and how material possessions in the end arent worth it and all that.
Then I sensed this voice saying something like " So,...steph. You listen to lots of music dont you?...you consume your day with it dont you?"
by then im thinking to myself " pfft...naaah your kidding. me?" and that was obviously a total lie so I heard
" no... no I think you do. Maybe you should give up some of that time that you spend listening to music and actually spend it with me. Your blocking me out. How can I speak to you if theres always constant noise"
Thats something I definatly didnt want to hear at the time. I do consume my day listening to music. It has such an effect on me and I let it become a part of my everyday life and for me to give that up is going to be a big stretch.
I didnt feel that I needed to give it up completly because I dont think God is making me give up something I love so much. But cut back on it and in the time that I could be listening to music or playing it. I could spend a little time with God instead.


So yah. that was my weekend in a nutshell. And im out because i feel like im going to vomit
( Screw you mcdonalds!! )

I'll show you a picture. A picture of tomorrow. There's nothing changing, It's all sorrow...

Song playing - The Wedding - Morning air

Spares are beginning to tick me off. They are extremly boring. I have no life and I'm too lazy to walk home.

Oh well at least I think I'm providing some entertainment for some of you.. I hope.

Heritage is tomorow and I'm super excited. And for those of you who arent from Dalmeny who read this. Its a cabin up north that our youth group goes to for a youth retreat.
Its awesome cause I always come back with better friends because there is so much bonding time.
The place is so darn beautiful. Its impossible not to sense God when your there. When you look around you. You see beautiful creation in every direction. Incredible. Sunsets, Northern lights, Sunrises, Fog over the lake. I can hardly wait.

Anyways I'm gonna leave off with something that was on my myspace blog.

is it wrong that my heart is in a different place than i am.
is it wrong that where im from isnt where i want to be from.
is it wrong that sometimes i need a song to forget about my troubles.
is it wrong that sometimes i laugh when i should cry.
is it wrong that sometimes i say what people want to hear instead of what they should hear.
is it wrong that i have a passion for something i hardly even know.
is wrong to have more then you deserve.
is it wrong to run from reality once and a while.
is it wrong to have feelings.
is it wrong to wear jeans to church.
is it wrong to let simple details slip your mind.
is it wrong to know more than you thought you knew.
is it wrong to be myself.
is it wrong.

For Teri ( Haircut David was talking about )

Sorry everyone else. Teri just wanted to see a style of hair shes never heard of...and I couldnt think of any other way to show her. because explaining did no good... so its kinda like this
( ahh the magic of google )

so its kinda like that..that was the best i could find. cause i have tons of spare time.... your welcome for the useless knowledge lol

( after she sees this i will most likely delete this post so no worries everyone else )

I dont care, I could go anywhere with you and id probably be happy...

So its second class spare and im trying to write a poem about the praries.
I can never write poems when someone gives me a specific topic. So if anyone has any ideas send them my way!

I did post it. But then i realized it just sucked. So nuts to that.

My computer crashed the other day. And i backed up nothing. Thats right. nothing.
So all my pictures/music/ everything got deleted and im pretty peeved. All my pictures from my philidelphia missions trip...camp... everything

Hey so if anyone has pictures from camp do you wanna send me them by any chance? to my e-mail.
And i cant remeber all the songs i had. So song suggestions would be appreicated to.

This is just a suggestion...ful post. sorry bout that.

And I know this probably isnt going to work. But just so i have an idea. everyone who reads my blog do you wanna leave a comment saying you do. that would be sweet.

Thanks guys

C is for cookie, thats good enough for me ...

I changed my template because I like this one a jillion times better than my green one. lots of people have this one though. oh well. I like it.

Im offically addicted to cookies.

Seriosly. My mom NEVER bakes. Today I wake up and I smell cookies and im thinking to myself " uh oh...I smell cookies... i think im having a stroke" but then i quickly realize its burnt toast you smell so I hop out of bed to go investigate.
I come upon my mom...in the kitchen ( if you know her. thats pretty amazing in itself )
and she was BAKING!
I looked at her and asked...mom...*in a nervouse scared voice* what are you doing?
She replied with " baking cookies.... i think im sick "

but they were super good. they werent even burnt which is a miracle in itself. so its all good. Now all is back to normal with my mom never to be seen again in the kitchen ( unless its cleaning or doing the dishes or something. that I will allow haha)


Me and Jess went out to the park today and took pictures. I will post some later. Lots turned out good.

Until then.
Chillinize.

Oh I almost forgot. I found this on Jess's myspace page and I thought I would give it a try

Spell your name with your:
NOSE: stteppj
TONGUE: steph ( ew )
CHIN: steslophgb ( huzzah! )
FEET: awww nooo... fine....stwph
EYES CLOSED AND ONE FINGER: steph ( woah howd i do that )
BACK OF YOUR HAND:3 x7t65e5p[uih ( is that possible? )
PALM: sterp[;hj
WRIST: stephn

hurrah that was fun. I hope you liked my commentary as well

Goodbyes are definatly not my thing...


So Stacey left for BC last night...for two years...and I cried.

Im terrible with goodbyes. Honestly. I have only cried in 1 movie in my life. and no books or any of that junk. But when it comes to goodbyes I just lose it.

Shell be back for christmas and stuff. But that still means no more going out for coffee and talking about boys. No more chicken lemon rice and no more stacey massages. That is until she comes back.. but still....

We had a little shindig for her last night. And some of her other friends threw her a suprise thing too. So she was quite the popular lady last night. It was fun im glad shes doing what she wants to do now

So stacey if your reading this. I wish you the best of luck and I will most definatly keep in touch with you.
Your amazing and I miss you tons already.

The artist formerly known as the concept of anatomy

So im here anxiously awaiting carrie to get home. Why you ask? And to that I say. Because
shes bringing me a fish, Foo.

Thats right. A goldfish.
And im keeping it in my nalgene and taking it with me wherever i go.
And for those of you who say " ooooh how mean! its going to die!",... its not. Ill be careful. I promise.
I even got those little gravelly bits in the bottom
And yes. I have fish food

I am now taking name suggestions. I have 3 so far and they are
1. anatomy
2. the artist formerly known as the concept of anatomy
3. Cootie

I will now be open for suggestions and i will pick the best of the suggestions.

Now start those suggestions!



EDIT:
apparantly they dont sell goldfish at walmart anymore. So im gonna go into petland later this week. so the fish will be post poned

I'll be wrapped around your finger

So it was the first real day of school today. Its third class and I have double spare...and im terribly bored. Web msn is blocked on these computers too... Hoorah.

Grade 12 is Better than I thought it would be actually.
But I have a feeling that this year is going to be really really diffrent, Its just in the way that everybody is acting towards each other. I sense tension between some people and it sucks.

I want to wake up one morning , go through my day to day exisentce with the usual tasks at hand. but after i shower and put on clothes . i want to place my wallet into my pocket and walk away.
I want to keep walking until i am gone from this idiotic routine.
gone from the people who have no respect for me.
from the people who think i should apologize all the time
i want to leave every materialized item in my room leave it where it sits and just leave
lately it seems as though everything around me has been a blur
and i feel as though i have been stepping away from everyone, or everyone away from me
and yet i have been watching
i have been watching everything and trusting nothing
not even the words that have spewed from the mouths of those whom i trust
those words that trickle over there lips seems as though they could merely be lies upon lies
the truth where does it ever really exist
there have been moments though when i take a small step forward again and then from the mere dissapointment i have taken two more back
in my mind i am lost
thats really all there is to this
i no longer trust the words i hear or the things i see
i no longer trust my stance on the ground where i stand
i trust nothing except for Jesus and that perphaps my life will be put back in order soon.