Freedumb

"I belive that apathy and self interest will be the death of our nation, and it will happen sooner than anyone could imagine"


I dont think I'v ever visited a site and seen something that I fully 200% agree with more than this picture.

Our nation is going in a downward spiral of ignorance and selfishness.,its only getting worse.
People are caring less and less for people around the world , not to mention in their own community. Now a days you will more commonly get a glare, the finger, a honk, or something yelled at you rather than a smile.
People dont care about issues such as poverty, homelessness, gangs, disease and drugs in their own community so what makes you think people are going to muscle up the energy to do something about a problem halfway around the globe?
Everyone is too caught up in their lives , not sparing an ounce of energy on someone else wether it be holding open a door or volenteering at a homeless shelter, not sparing a penny because God forbid they cant buy that new pair of designer shoes they've been eyeing for some time because they just gave the money to a charity.
And this is just on the topic of our own community. Why dont I ever see big organizations who make millions doing something good and donate to a charity or good cause. Or more importantly, why dont I ever see individuals doing so?

Not saying NOBODY does anything for good causes or people in need. Because there are alot of people who do. and thats great I admire those who are taking the extra effort to help out. But the number of people who could care less about the world out-numbers the ones who do.

If we keep up this downward spiral of ignorance pretty soon no ones going to know about HIV/AIDS in Africa, There not going to know about the Genocide happening in Darfur. People are going to forget about the Hurricane victims of the Hurricane Katrina who still need our help. Global warming will become a myth. Or even worse. They will remember it. Just be too apathetic towards the whole situation and pull the " Well why cant someone else handle it?" " I shouldnt have to be responsible for something that doesnt concern nor affect me"

I was actually viewing a message board the other day. and the topic was on the earths carrying capacity and if the earth could handle its current rate of consumption ( food , gas, resources, ect ) and the possibility of resources running out. and this was one persons response to the isssue.
"Of course it can't, but I don't give a shit as long as the resources run out after I'm dead."

THIS is the very reason our society is going down the loo. Its responses like that, regarding a major issue that is very real , makes me doubt the intellegence / lifespan of humankind as we know it. Because as much as we'd like to disagree, theres far more of THOSE people then people who will do something about it.

Im not saying im the perfect human being. Im not saying I do all that I can do to help those in need. Im not even saying im not one of those people who completly forget about everyone who isnt within arms reach.
Because I know that I could be doing more, I rarely give to charitys, I volenteer occasionally, but only when its convienient for me. and when its something I think could be fun.
Im not perfect. Thats my point. And this whole realization has been nudging me to try to make a difference. Not to go as far as to cure AIDS but, start with something smaller.
Awareness is a major part of curing/solving/helping.
We need to find out about this stuff and tell people.

I wish ignorance wasn't bliss. Ignorance should be painful.

Being attractive is overrated

Thats right my friends, a triceratops.




Anyways. that picture had nothing to do with anything. nor does the title but hey. What are you gonna do? shoot me?

So today, ...I dont know. Felt good to say the least. Its been a while since I could say that and it feels nice.
I had a dream last night. ( first one in a while mind you. I think works prevented me from dreaming or something ) I wont go into the details of it but I took it as a sign that my life isnt going in the right direction and people who care about me have noticed. and are wanting to help out.
Not like im a renagade and am getting drunk everynight ( or ever for that matter ) but you know, im not who I used to be. And if you know ( or should I say "knew" ) me, i think you'd agree.
I DO like the people im friends with now. I really do. Love them to peices. But sometimes I think I need that...familiar,.....I dont really know what it is about the old crew. but whatever it is. its genuine. All the time. Not when they feel like it, not when they have to. But its because thats just how they are. genuine. I dont think I can put it more simply than that.
I had something tonight I needed. I had a girls night with girls who care about me. I miss those nights. and I had a ton of fun. I dont know why I ever left that. It wasnt intentional thats forsure if any of you girls are reading this.
I dont know how or why it happend. But im sorry. I dont want to lose you girls again. I dont wanna lose ANYone again. Your too good to me. I dont want my life to get in the way of that again. And if you guys still want I want alot more nights like that.

Im not ready to give up on who I used to be. But I want to work on the new me too. I have changed yes. but, some parts for the better and I just need to decide which is which. What I can do without and what I cant live without.

THIS will be a trip.

New years survey

1. What did you do this year that you've never done before?
Alot of things. some things im not proud of. Some things I am

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I dont remember my resolution for last year. But this year it will definatly be to do more internet surveys . haha because I clearly havent done enough.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth this year?
Katie!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope

5. What countries did you visit this year?
zero.

6. What would you like to have in the next year that you lacked this year?
Money, and ambition

7. What date from this year will remain etched upon your memory - and why?
The entire summer for me. Mostly the lake weekend. So many friends gained and lost. It was a happy sad kind of thing. But this summer has definatly been one of the best of my life by far.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Winning the photography competition I entered

9. What was your biggest failure of the year?
Uhm, probably not saving up enough money to go to australia in January

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Probably like. colds and the flu. But thats all I can recall

11. What was the best thing you bought this year?
All my wicked awesome cd's.

12.Whose behavior merited celebration (a public or private personality)?
I dont really understand this question. That or I dont know how to answer it.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Oh I could think of a few people. But im not naming names.

14. Where did most of your money go this year?
Gas and Australia

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about this year?
The lake. Leaving two weeks after this year ended.

16. What song will always remind you of this year?
Soco amaretto lime by brand new

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- happier or sadder?
- richer or poorer?
- thinner or fatter ( I think, im not even sure )

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Saving my money

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Spending my money

20. How did you spend the holidays?
at my house with my family

21. Did you fall in love this year?
No i dont think so

22. How many one-night stands did you have this year?
365...I mean...0

23. What was your favorite TV program for the year?
As always. The simpsons!

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Oh probably

25. What was the best book you read this year?
Screwtape letters

26. What was your favorite film of the year?
Does it have to be made in this year? if not. garden state or waking life

27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept this year?
a little bit of everything. "whatever i finds i keeps"

28. Whom did you miss this year?
Carrie, Braden, kurtis when he was in the dominican

29. Who was the best new person you met this year?
Joey then rob

30. What are your wishes for 2007
That ignorance wouldnt be bliss. but it would be painful

31.Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned for this year.
DONT PROCRASTINATE!!! if you want something you have to get up off your ass and do it.

Wheres 32?

33. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Sufjan Stevens and The Decemberists by FAR

34. What did you want and get?
An Ipod nano

35. What did you want and not get?
A digital SLR but I wasnt really counting on it

37. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 18 and I spent the evening at my house with some friends. playing simpsons jeapordy

38. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Knowing im leaving in 2 weeks. but im not.

40. What kept you sane?
Music, my friends in the summer

41. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Dilbert

42. What political issue stirred you the most?
So many, and not any.

WHY are there SO many missing??

45. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year
“There’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last.”
"Heres to the nights we felt alive. heres to the tears you knew youd cry"
"I wanna stay 18 forever, so we can stay like this forever"

iFraud ( happy birthday Jesus )

Not that I wanted to make this post about the idealistic aspect of christmas. Im not normally one to be materialistic and all that stuff, But this was a little bit too funny to pass up.

So this morning yah im unwrapping presents. I get to my parents gift to me and im expecting the iPod nano they were giving me for my birthday and christmas. I happily unwrap it thinking im finally able to carry something more convienent at work. hip hip huzzah!
Anyways so yeah I open it. And I look inside and sure enough. theres my mp3 player. Hoozah
Except....
It looks a little diffrent. (such as no touch wheel and no hold button )But it still says apple ipod on it so I think to myself oh pfft thats ok. its probably just the new version I heard they came out with. So im not thinking much of it until I tried putting music onto it.
First of all the manual was in broken english and my computer wouldnt recognize the software. So I thought...weird
I finally figured out a way to put on music and I tried listening to it and the menu is all screwed up, NOTHING like an iPod should be. so finally I was like oooooook whats going on. And I looked it up on the net and found out it was a conterfeit mp3 player.
Yay for Illegal presents on christmas!


This is it. Mines white though. Haha

Inspi(red)

Alot of stuff I've been reading/hearing/seeing lately has left me inspired.

Inspired to do what? I dont know. Ha, When do I ever know? Im retarded like that. I have this uncontrolable urge to do something but I never know what it is. Ever. And when I do know things always ALWAYS fall through or I just give up. Its cool. Maybe I should change that

Maybe its just nice to see people who give a damn, people who know what their passions hopes and dreams are and go for it.
Maybe its nice to see everyones not a tangled mess like me and actually have there mind figured out and arent afraid to try something they've wanted to do. Weather it be writing a song, starting a band, or trying to make a diffrence in the lives of others less fortunate than we are.
Maybe its nice to see that the human race isnt totally hopeless and gone to waste.
Maybe I want to be somebody like that. Or be like that again. Who knows?
I know I dont.


I like to think that I have myself figured out. But newsflash! I really dont.
( what a suprise )

Would you like that supersized?

Ambition,
ambition is a tricky thing.
It’s like riding a unicycle over a dental floss tightrope over a wilderness of razor blades.
Ambition can backfire.
Ambition means more,
ambition means faster,
ambition means better.
What if you could supersize – can you supersize ambition?
Does that make you ambitious to supersize ambition?
Around here, our ambition hurts more than it helps.
See, around here, our ambition throws a non-perishable item into the donation box at Christmas
and pats itself on the back because it thinks it’s done something decent.
Yeah, we’re supersizing ambition.
Make no mistake about it.
(It’s alright, sooner or later)
Ambition will televise the revolution,
and it will sell more commercial spots than the Super Bowl,
the Olympics,
the World Series,
and the tragedY DE JOUR combined.
We’re supersizing,
we’re supersizing the record,
because we’re ambitious.




Yay Leah and lending me wicked awesome cd's . Yay Matt Good
Yay

Sufjan instead of city sounds

Well, I conquerd myself for a moment, but that moment was quickly taken away from me.
My fights not in the flesh but in the spirit, and thats the worst kind, it feels like im slowly being defeated, thrown on to a merry go round about to be hurled into the mericlous eternity of outer space ( although the trip would be cool until the enevitable exploding of my head )

Im getting lost and left behind in a world of petty cash, news flash, and white trash. Im left alone with my head at night to think...I have too much time to think about what will happen, what could happen, what could HAVE happend and my worries about tommorow. I try to stop but Im still left laying in bed staring at my ceiling. waiting. hoping for the stars to come down on me. Im losing my mind

Why is it that anxiety stress and panic are more common to me around Christmas than a good fun merry Christmas spirit?



I sat on a bench beside the road today for an hour, drowning out the city traffic with the soothing tunes of Sufjan Stevens. People were looking at me weird and I didnt care. I was getting wet with the mucky melted snow being tossed up from the tires, and I didnt care. I was cold. and my butt and feet were wet from my poor attempt to get past a snowbank to the bench and another poor attempt at brushing off the snow from the seat. but I didnt care.
For at that exact moment, everything was ok, everything was peaceful and for once I wasnt busy thinking ...and that was fine.

Malfunction. Self destruct in 3..2...1

So you know. I had a pretty overall bad day. But hey. Im sticking to my motto and I dont care what my mind tells me im GOING to be happy OK!?


Ill let these Jacks Mannequin lyrics speak for me.


Finally, I'm letting go of all my downer thoughts
In no time there'll be one less sad robot
Looking for a chance to be something more than just metal


Im feeling a li-it-tle - rob-it-tron-ic lately. I dont feel like myself and the reason for that is routine. routine is satan and it leaves me no time to be myself. express myself the ways I want to. Be spontaneous and awesome.
Well i mean routine isnt the ONLY culprit.... iv lost all my drive and ambition to do anything
im drained from working at my horrible...HORRIBLE job that I hate with the intensity of a thousand burning suns....I need to find something to strive for ..something new.


I need to be repaired

Im on a blog rampage

Just lettin you all know that I set up a seperate blog for Australia just so i can update everyone on whats goin on with me before I leave and also when im there

Check out www.talesofasaskatchewanpirate.blogspot.com

Fate likes to play a little game with me called " up yours steph!"

Question: What demon from the depths of hell created tuesdays
Answer : Monday. It couldnt fit all the suffering into one day so it had a baby



Crap crap crap crap crap crap


My brother TOTALLY cant cosign for me. SCREW YOU JACS VIDEO!!!!!!


I wanna crawl into bed and sleep for years.

I uh.....like?... saskatchewan

Ill be leaving all this in January SUCKERS....

Ok. Winter rules

Wow yesterday morning was just insane pretty. I feel sorry for everyone NOT getting up at 6. ( actually thats a lie ) But it was awesome none the less.
I was driving to work and there was a very thick fog that blanketed the trees with BEAUTIFUL hoar frost. Im sure you all saw the after effects of that once you all woke up...
But in the morning it was so eerie how everything just crept out of the fog and disappeard just as quick as it came, like it wasnt even there in the first place. I kinda felt claustrphobic though not being able to see anything but white past a 3 feet radius.
I was highly questioning where I was. If I wasnt from here I wouldnt know where i was going cause all I could see of any signs were just a haze.
I just wish I had my camera with me. I should start carrying it wherever I go.

This is one of the things that I dont hate about winter. I can whine and complain until my head asplodes but as soon as I see something as pretty as that I just have to stop and be like...ok you win. winter rocks

Life list

I know its my second ( technically 3rd but I deleted the last post ) post of the day. I dont know what to do with myself anymore....

ANYWAYS. I wanted you all to see my life list and what I have accomplished because im just bored like that...
The ones I have completed are in bold ....clearly


1. Be my own boss
2. Start my own photography buisness
3. Sell one of my photographs I took
4. Learn how to surf
5. Travel to Australia
6. Have a sponsor child
7. Own a room with a view
8. Create something people admire
9. Be "the" photographer for someones wedding
10. Ride in a hot air balloon
11. Do missions work on another continent
12. Do missions work in my own community
13. Witness an obvious physical miracle of God
14. Learn how to drive a standard
15. Get a picture I took get published in a magazine
16. Get a picture I took get published in a newspaper
17. Learn how to play guitar ( well )
18. Learn how to play piano
19. Have a major impact on someones life
20. Recieve a paycheck from a steady job
21. Submit a photo into a competition
22. Win that competition
23. Get married
24. Go to college/university/take a class of sorts
25. Own a great peice of art
26. Sleep under the stars
27. Be featured on the cover of a magazine
28. Meet someone I admire
29. Finish my sketchbook
30. Stop procratinating
31. Write my life story
32. Improve my posture
33. Get a tattoo
34. Go on a roadtrip with no pre-determined destination
35. Live passionatly
36. Learn to read music
37. Send a message in a bottle
38. Plant a tree
39. Write the novel I know I have inside me
40. Learn to juggle
41. Attend a huge rock concert
42. Eat at the samurai
43. Visit a ghost town
44. Visit the crooked trees
45. Get a t-shirt made at Shamatta
46. Fly first class
47. Try colourd contacts
48. Ride a train
49. Truly appreciate life
50. Ride on a motorcycle
51. Make a new list because I have finished this one




Wow i need to do more with my life....I REALLY havent accomplished that much, But i can see at least like...20 of those being crossed off while im away..so thats ok

Out of order

So im sitting here after a VERY eventful morning which results in me NOT going to work because I hate my cars metal guts.
But thats not the point.
Lately I haven't really felt like myself. You know? The creative imaginative steph we all know and (hopefully) love. I just feel like an empty shell thats doing nothing for her creative mind and its slowly shrinking and dissappearing everyday.
This whole situation is more depressing than anything I can think up right now.... If this was like 2 months ago I could have taken teri's advice and very successfully made my job fun. I always had a way. But instead I contemplate my very existance while im there ( not really THAT bad but I dont make it as fun as I could )
I used to take pictures like a madman, like almost everyday and now im not bothered to even charge my batteries.
WHATS MY PROBLEM!?

I just wanna take a week off work and go to town. I wanna make a sanctuary out of my room and just draw/paint/write/scapbook/take pictures, ANYTHING to feed my need for creativity.

Heck, I have the day off today. Why dont I go make the most of it.

Sionara suckers im off to find the Steph we all once knew.

Halloween tragedys

It never fails.


This is halloween pumpkin carving at my house EVERY year.


*carving* doo doo doo this doesnt look too bad. it might turn out half decent this year.
Oh look. a little peice hanging off ill just get th-*MASH* - *knife slips* - *pumpkins face gets mangled by knife*
NOOOOO!!!
ok calm down...i can just shove the peice back where its supposed to b-*MASH* (more broken off) NOOOOOO!!!!


ALWAYS at the last possible thing i could have possibly cut out.


I hate halloween

You know what I hate?

Man, heres a collection of things that reaaallly make me want to ram my head into a wall over and over and over again when people say them.
Even sitting here thinking about it, makes me want to punch everything within arms length
in no praticular order

"Well thats just your opinion"
This is some peoples way of backing up there crappy arguments / likes.
When someone says this I just wanna boot there butt back to last week because OF COURSE its my opinion. thats why I said it!

"Whatever floats your boat"
The principles of bouyancy float MY boat. I dont know about yours...

"May or may not be"
people use this when they say, "this may or may not be true" As if there was some sort of secret third option that im not aware of.
Thanks for pointing out the only two possiblilties on the universe

"Sorry...but" or " no offense"
This is used in an unintellegent fight between usually girls and one of them has the nerve to say " im sorry to say, but the results are back and..... your stupid"
If you think someones stupid. Just say it. We all know you mean some sort of harm or you wouldnt be saying it in the first place

"Get to the back of the bus"
This is the worst when mature 40 year olds say this. WHAT? what bus are you talking about? Are we still in elementry school or what? If you want me to get to the back of the line. tell me to get to the back of the line and quit thinking your soooo clever.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmm"
I have to say this is the WORST when your in restaraunts and the person behind you feels the need to make some sort of audible noise to make sure the waitress isnt going to walk away without taking their order.
The noise of the moron..


Anytime someone asks you something but doesnt let you answer
for example
"you know what i love...cookies"
Well you didnt give me anytime to answer now did ya? I thought this was some sort of game and you ruined it for me

"Some of the best things in life are free"
Yah but so are the worst. you dont see me throwing a party when someone gets a terminal illness

"WAZZZZZUUUUUUPPPP!!"
no explanation needed


Im done Im getting worked up

Life: 10 billion Steph: 1

AH HA! in your freaking face life!
My premonition came true! this week IS better.
Yeah me and Janelle totally both got jobs at comfort inn doing housekeeping!
8.50 an hour isnt too bad so im PRETTY pumped.
Yay...

My prescription?,...Modest mouse

Last week I kind of let the world knock me down and keep me down.
But tonight is the end of that. Tomorrow morning is a brand new week and I will be back full force and ready to take on the world. (even though sunday is technically the first day of the week)
I truly hate being unemployed and I hate all of this lollygagging around I have been forced into. Its been a week I would just like to remove from the recordbooks I know that for sure.

But hey. Things happen no? Life happens and things will only get better from here im sure of it.


Speaking of which. I've recently realized that I have found my offical cheer up song. Iv known about it for years but I've never taken the time to actually listen to the lyrics for some reason.
I finally did and realized how incredibly encouraging they are..

Example.

Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with a scam
It was worth it just to learn some sleight-of-hand
Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans
We both got fired on the exactly the same day
Well we'll float on good news is on the way

...

Aliright don't worry even if things end up a bit to heavy
we'll all float on alright


Im trying to let this be an example of how I want my thinking to be from now on.
I always thought it was stupid for people to stress out and dwell on fickle things, Im naturally an easygoing person so you think this trait would come naturally to me. Nope. Its gonna be hard to work on but I want this mindset so bad im willing to change.
Plus, It feels so much better to not be stressed out and be losing sleep over things that will always work out in the end.

Im not in control and I have to accept that and just go along with the ride....and boy its been one hell of a ride. But I dont regret a second of it.

Everything I wanted to say and more

Heres 14 things Iv always wanted to say to some people. Some of them you might be able to figure out. The ones you cant, im afraid you may never know
All these statements are left nameless. hopefully you know who you are when I say them
( some are directed to those who dont even read my blog...just so you know )

1. I love you like a sister. Im sorry for all the stupid things Iv done. Dispite the fact that all reason says we shouldnt be friends your the one friend I never want to let go. I know its hard to belive me now but please try to trust me. I screw up. Its what I do, and I love you for always forgiving me. Thanks.

2. Im sick of you and your games. Im over you. completly.

3. Im so sorry you wouldnt even belive. Its all my fault I know and I tried to fix things and i feel like im being pushed away. but im not letting go. not now. I just want you to realize I cant do everything in this friendship to fix it, Im scared its too far gone. Please assure me otherwise?

4. Be yourself. If you even know who that is anymore.

5. Im happy for you but secretly jealous, and I hate that.

6. I love you but I hate your choices. Smarten up, im really worried your not going to come home one night.

7. I really love you man, and im glad were friends now. but start caring for other people before you screw up the one who loves you most.

8. Iv known you for 3 months and I feel like iv known you forever. Your halarious and always a pleasure to be around. youve been through alot and I really admire some of your choices youve made, it makes me wish I would have. please dont change. except dont get upset so easy. change that

9. Your the funniest kid on the planet. Your cute and Im really glad were friends now. go alpha brainwave team!

10. Pretty much 12 years of friendship and I feel like you still hate me sometimes. I dont like the scrappy brother/sister relationship we have. treat me like a friend not your annoying sister. Although Im glad we can still tolerate each other after this long, your a funny guy.

11. I dont get why everyone hates you so much. I really enjoy you, maybe im just not around you enough but your one of the nicest/down to earth guys i know. except when your really immature. but what guy isnt?

12. Your my music human double, and you have a great sense of humor, the card you gave me is taped in the back of my journal. that was some of the nicest things anyones said to me. thank you so much I dont think iv ever told you how much that inspires me in a day.

13. Get your head out of the clouds and come back down into reality. Look around and pay attention to what people are saying or you might miss something. Your a smart guy so stop acting stupid.

14. I LOVE you. Your a sweetheart and one of my best friends. Im really glad you trust me as much as you do and youve been through alot but know that im ALWAYS here for you through the rest of it no matter what. I really appreciate all youve done for my family when no one else would.


Im sorry if that passed by over anyones head. If it did this wasnt really meant for you.
haha meant in the nicest possible way of course

R.I.P. Booster juice uniform

Thats right, I got fired today!

It wasnt out of bad workmanship or stealing or you know..the common things to get fired over, Oh no. It was much more stupid than that

My dads driving me to work because he didnt want me to drive on the bad roads
He has to turn around because the roads are so icey.
*calls into work *

Me-Yeah I wont be able to make it in. my dads driving me and he has to turn around. we almost hit the ditch 3 times going 50 theres no way i can make it in its way too icey

Girl I work with- Oh ok. ill just call Hilary

*4:00*

*phone rings*

Yah hey steph its Hilary. Im afraid that you working at the stores isnt working out. Ill be more than happy to give you a referance though.....good luck



Uhm.....what?
This is the best day of my life. 3 months till Australia...0 jobs
Steph-0
Life-10 billion and one

The crane wife

Im sure none of you who come here regularily really care...BUT!

Alas! The Decemberists finally came out with there new album! ( although, i use finally very loosely because...I didnt exactly know they were coming out with another one )
And unlike alot of albums lately that iv bought this one is jammed pack of pure solid gold

I heard the track " when the war came " on CFCR as I was driving home from work and my stereo was cranked and my jaw was dropped.
I tought to myself " Hey, this sounds alot like the decemberists..only..better..and diffrent"
And to my astonishment the announcer said its from there new cd and i was like...uh...must buy.

So about an hour after I got home I headed right back into saskatoon to get it.
The second I put it in I was overly satisfied and spent the next hour or so listening to the cd with the jacket in my face reading the lyrics.

Laura veirs is a guest voice and does a duet with Colin on the track "yankee bayonette". That almost made my head asplode. I dare you not to love it...go on... I TRIPLE dog dare you!

But seriosly. Last song on the cd called " sons and daughters" as lame as it sounds they ACTUALLY have a round at the end of the song. and hey, I dont expect you to be like " COOL!" But quite possibly the best ever. iv never actually heard that in a good song.
Belive me. It can be done

But anyways. im done profressing my love for the decemberists.
I only have one beef with them.
North American Tour....No Saskatchewan! WHAT!? well....I guess I kinda saw that coming

What goes down on thanksgiving every year

*grabs a heaping plate of a mound of mashed potatoes, a pile of corn and half the turkey*
*devours it all*
"Holy crap im full, I couldnt eat another bite!.............................Hey!, theres pie!"



Mhmm...thanksgiving is such a north american holiday

(the government having a meeting)
Lets have a holiday which main purpouse is for people around the country to stuff there faces with as much food as they possibly can instead of helping out other needy countries with there starvation problems

Its north american we-have-alot-of-food-and-you-dont weekend!

Happy turkey day

So it turns out I dont have to spend thanksgiving away from my family and giving my dog away

We get to keep bear until christmas!! yay!

Mmm....Hmmm.....

I thought I told myself I wasnt going to write down my dreams anymore when im half asleep.
I lied I guess

I woke up this morning and found this written in the middle of my dream journal for some reason


Fill it up
forgot
got out of car and got roastbeef myself


What...?

In the backseat

"So in the end, was it worth it?
Jesus Christ. How irreparably changed my life has become. It's always the last days of summer and I've been left out in the cold with no door to get back in.
I'll grant you I've had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by when they're busy making grand plans for it.
Throughout my lifetime I've left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there's almost barely enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent.
There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door. "

-Blow

Oh inverted world!

Do you want the bad news first or the good news?


Bad news- I had pretty much the worst day ever today, Im not even going to begin to describe it because i know no one wants to hear it.
Long story short- Flat tire.
getting up at 7 to go and listen to some lady for an hour and a half about immunizations and how much they are going to be ( SOOO expensive )
last minute photo developing gone horribly wrong,
waiting an hour in extra foods as a result of that,
co workers not showing up for work during lunch rush.
not eating.
not getting home until 7 when i was supposed to be home at 530.
sausages for supper.
laptops "r" breaking off


ok so maybe i did begin to describe, but you still dont care haha

*groooooan*

Good news? I bought two good cds today
the new pornographers- twin cinemas
the shins - oh inverted world

aaand my photography mentorship is tommorow!...
I dont even know what to expect though. They told me to bring 6 other pictures with me and I feel like i have to compare to the ones i won with.
im really nervous about it and all the other people who are there with me. i hope there not like..overly really superiour to me.


Maybe ill find a artsy boy there i can date ( haha right jess? ) one can only hope.
After all. I deserve it, no? haha

Its ALLLIIIIVVVEEEE!!!!

I finally posted on life on trial!...ch-ch-check it out
www.themenacesociety.blogspot.com
seriosly. this sites the best thing since garlic bread. which wasnt praticularily that good, but thats not the point
or maybe it is....

quiz quiz quiz quiz

im bored. can you tell?


01.Your name plus a Y?
stephy (* angry face* )

02.Two feelings at the moment?
cold.... and nostalgic

03. What are you listening to right now?
Low - coldplay

04. A part of a song lyric that's in your mind?
what if you should decide, that you dont want me there by your side

05. Last person you hugged?
mmm....alyssa ...probably, nope, matt

06. The highlight of your week?
starting at booster juice

07. What are you craving to have right now?
booster juice...haha

08. Any unforgettable childhood memories?
oh lots...playing animals with katie and alyssa braun, horseback riding with katie

09. A not-so-good childhood memory?
plenty..me almost dying falling down a slide,. now its funny. its on tape even

10. What are your nicknames?
stephi ( i hate that one ) meff, teffy, teff, steve, stevie, stevie wonder, pep

11. Your plans for tomorrow?
go to work

12. Your plans for today?
youth sponsoring...mmm...eating?

13. Are you thinking of someone right now?
yes!

14. Do You Think Someone is thinking of you?
most likely not

15. Have you got a job?
yepp and i love it!

17. Say something to the person who posted this before?
Uh cora. i know what soapy means. your doomed

18. What do you want?
to be warm and not wet, i hate sprinkle rain

19. are you happy?
sure

20. Do you like anyone?
i doubt it

21. Do you miss anyone right now?
yes.

22. Describe where you are right now?
on my bed in my room. that was tough

23. What do you like about the night?
stars, the northern lights. i come ALIVE haha

24. If you were on a farm what would you want to see?
alot of horses and dogs,....and ducks, maybe even a pond with a tireswing.

25. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
a marine biologist. haha

26. Last gift received?
a tennis ball from joey. although i wouldnt really consider that a gift

27. Did you like it?
sure, i keep it in my purse

29. Do you play an instrument?
i can but i dont really anymore

30. sweet or sour?
sweet

31. Your good luck charm?
i dont have one. but if i had to pick. my plastic dinosaur named chili boots

32. Person you hate most?
i dont hate anyone.

33. Who makes you laugh the most?
jess and janelle, kendall, brennan

34. What makes you smile?
memeories, people mostly...

Hometown:
dalmeny, SK

Height:
5'1 im...pretty sure i lose.

Hair color:
dark brown

Hair Style: (wavy/curly/straight):
striaght

Eye color:
brown

School:
well...i graduated from DHS

Friends:
oooooh, im not naming them all. the only one who rOXxOrs the most is jess probably. haha

Finish the sentence:

2. I am listening to
the mars volta

3. Maybe I should...
get dressed into normal clothes and not purple booster juice clothes

Where's Number 4?
your momma ate it

5. My best friends...
Jess, Carrie and Alyssa. im pretty sure there the best

6. I don't understand...
why some people put themselves in situations where they know there gonna get hurt
Why people dont say stuff to my face

7. I lost...
my mind. bahaha i bet THAT was original!
but seriosly? my frog that i kept in my room

8. People say...
alot of gibberish

Harvest-mlarvest Moon-shmloon

I went off to Harvest Moon this last Friday, and let me tell you it was ever so much fun.

It started off in a neverending hunt for matt. literally. we still dont know where he is. Thats a little weird but beside the point.
Anyways because of that major glitch our take off time was...delayed by 3 hours at least. and ended up being just me and Kendall driving all the way to edmonton.

The festival started at 630 and we arrived at his cousins house at 8.
We were ready to go and watch MewithoutYou until Cody ( kendalls cousin ) decided he wanted some Burger King.
So we stopped and ate in for some reason and all the while we came to the conclusion that it was the slackest BK on the planet. Alternative music pumping througout the entire restaraunt and the manager hooting and hollering in the kitchen.
Dispite that fun adventure I was pretty dang upset because we missed mewithoutYou'sset. We didnt feel like paying 25 bucks to see there last 3 songs so we stood outside the gates like the cheap losers we are.
From what I heard outside they were pretty incredible. just as i expected. except for january 1979 that was ...ok

We went back to codys and watched fear and loathing in las vegas and i fell asleep on THEE creakiest bed in the world. This is my impression.
*moves fingers* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!!!KACHUNK!

Running low on sleep we ran out the door the next morning to catch tuxedo mask, who rocked as usual. I even bought a shirt. I will post a picture soon because it rocks so much.
We left after them for a bit to go shop around not as west ed because the boys didnt care for riley armstrong.
We then came back to see Glory Nights. Dont really remember much besides that they were decent.
Then was Jacob and Lily, except those werent there names at all. Not even close. but all i can remeber is the guys name and his name was Caleb.
Anyways the girl had an INCREDIBLE voice and the dude played that...box drum where you sit on it. I was very impressed with their set. check them out if you have a chance.
Then we saw a bit of joy electric and then left. and went by a duck pond outside of the area but we were still within ear shot unfortunatly. ( the joe and pigeon john are hip hop artists i didnt praticularily enjoy, expecially pigeon john ) and threw stuff at the ducks.

Came back for the myriad who rocked as well I was so impressed with how good they were live. for there last song "dissapointed together" one of the 3 guitar players used a bow on his guitar. SO COOL! that one was and is still my favorite by them

Then was blindside, dun dun dun DUN!! SOOO good!! there was such a massive crowd compared to everyone else and for good reason. i was smiling clapping and taping the entire time. enough said.

But this is getting long as it is so ill end with we woke up early today and went to west ed and saw a sea lion show. cool
Now im home and im sick and tired and I GOT A JOB AT BOOSTER JUICE!!
I win!
I start tommorow and im gonna puke im so nervouse

In case you havent seen my other blog...

I did win that photography competition.
Not only did I win the competition but I also got another photo as an honorable mention!
I also got an invitation along with only 5 other people to go to an all day workshop lead by a proffessional photographer...No way!!! Im so stoked out of my MIND!
This is the photo that won



This is the honorable mention




Personally I think it should have been the other way around but who cares?

A real post

What have I done in the past week? Let me tell you, because i know your all DYING to know.

Im gonna start from the farthest back I can remember, and that is
Saturday: I got my daith peirced. Whats a daith you ask? Well...forgive the massive ear picture with a fresh peircing wound...but this is it

yee...haw

aaand...

Wednesday: Last day of summer program Hooray!! And let me tell you. every single kid must have been loaded up with sugar before they came the day before, what the crap was going on with that ( Tuesday was the last day with kids. wensday we just had to clean up )
I also bought a Mars Volta cd

Today: Had an interview at Starbucks
Corprate sellout? I think so. I dont even care haha I get another interview so thats a good sign
I also bought the iron and wine cd. :)


Mmmm and tommorow i dont know what im going to do with myself. Im not working....what do I do!?

I like to rhyme...All the time

Smile faker
Breath taker
Free thinker
Coffee drinker
Loud screamer
Day dreamer
Shoot for the stars
Driving in cars
Compassionate heart
and falling apart
Wanderlust
Expresses trust
has a dream
coffee with cream
Wants to love
Free as a dove
Trapped in a box
Hating socks
Music junkie
Grease monkey
Artistic eye
Wants to fly
World shaker
Rule breaker
Needing change
A little strange

Free to be
THIS IS ME

A dreamer dreams, she never dies...

Man on the Train: Hey, are you a dreamer?
Wiley: Yeah.
Man on the Train: I haven't seen too many around lately. Things have been tough lately for dreamers. They say dreaming is dead, no one does it anymore.
It's not dead it's just that it's been forgotten, removed from our language. Nobody teaches it so nobody knows it exists.
The dreamer is banished to obscurity.
Well, I'm trying to change all that, and I hope you are too. By dreaming, every day. Dreaming with our hands and dreaming with our minds.
Our planet is facing the greatest problems it's ever faced, ever. So whatever you do, don't be bored, this is absolutely the most exciting time we could have possibly hoped to be alive.
And things are just starting





Waking life = best movie in the world

Just 'Cause I Rock

Oooooh , I AM the coolest







Speaking of rocking....

Dont you love the feeling of a song being burned into your memory. Your sitting there and you can actually feel the moment being crystalized into your brain and you know your going to remember that moment forever.
I had a moment like that tonight, two songs in a row. It wasnt even a special moment or a special song that I loved or anything. Just a normal moment. It was kinda nice .

I think it had to do with the lyrics though. They went like this

i hope this song starts a craze.
the kinda song that ignites the airwaves.
the kinda song that makes people glad
to be where they are,
with whoever they're there with.

we are the best at what we do.
and these are the words you wish you wrote down.
this is the way you wish your voice sounds,
hansome and smart.
oh my tongue's the only muscles on my body
that works harder than my heart.







Hey actually. guess what everyone!

I, Stephanie Anderson the first. Have succedded in quitting my job at the sears portrait studio.
YAY!!!

No more shifts ever *does a jig*
And I might get a job at the spadina free house *does another jig*

And a-camping I will go this next weekend!!! I can actually have a summer now!!!
I dont think I could be happier than I am right now
Actually. That was a lie

Good ol' rumble McGee

The moment you all have expected has finally arrived
My buick died....On Idylwyld


So that was pretty fun. Im puttering along and im like a red light better stop *nah nah nah* ok cool its green
*presses the gas* *goes nowhere*
Uhhhhhmm....what?
*tries to turn on the car again* *nothing*
*tsk*...uh oh. its pretty busy and people are getting pretty mad....
*gets out of the car and pops the hood so no one else harrasses her*
*flags down a cop to make a gap in traffic so I can push it to a side street*


Overall a pretty embarrassing situation, the cop didnt even help me. What a loser.

Huzzah for broken alternators that I have to pay for
Huzzah for the long weekend
Huzzah

Ladies and gentlemen, guard your wallets

Iv learned that no matter where I go. No matter Who im with, I am never the topic of discussion when it comes to all the junior high discussions we all love to talk about. You all know which ones im talking about.
And I now think....Im slightly ok with it and iv come to terms with the whole situation.

In other news

The fringe festival is coming the fringe festival is coming!
nuh nuh nuh *does a dance*

Im going again and again and again and again.
This is my favorite time of year. the most intresting people crawl out of there homes and all gather on the most intresting street in town.
You look around and say " what the crap is that guy doing" But that thing hes doing that would normally would freak you out if you saw it, you now laugh. Because today its socially acceptable.
Anyone can set up anything they want wether it be playing a violin or a magic show.
People even have there own little kiosks
And the jewlerry they sell. OOOH the jewlery. Eccentric handmade bracelets and necklaces rock my face off and I dont know if I could ever leave them behind.
Although I always end up losing them or getting them stolen. This is what this event is all about. Stocking up on this sweeeeet sweeeeet crap.



Sidenote:
I FINALLY updated my photoblog, everyone ch-ch-check it out!
www.beautythroughtheviewfinder.blogspot.com

Mr sun

Im mellllting! Its definatly just a little bit too hot this weekend.

I wish I had air conditioning but I heard that messes up your internal heating system or something and it makes you fatter because your body doesnt work to get your temperature down, something else does it for you or something.
I dont care. bunches of freezies glued onto my arms and face arent working anymore

Anywho as you can tell theres no real point to this except for whats coming next.

Its a song/poem by Bradley Hathaway called the hug poem. And it showed up on random on my playlist right at the perfect time.


I read about how you touched them and they were healed
Or even if someone just touched your cloak they were forever changed
You let a broken women bathe your feet in her tears
And you washed your best friend’s feet
I am just wondering though did you just ever hug people

I mean I know that it is a silly question and all I am sure you would have why wouldn’t you
But its one of those things that was never mentioned that got me thinking about it

And how whenever there was a touch from you sins were forgiven and sickness fell
I think I’m caught up in my sins last time I checked all my body parts were properly working, nothing special here
I am just a kid with a heavy heart these passing sunrises and sunsets

I don’t think our encounter would have ended up in the gospels or anything
Because all I really need is a hug
That is ok for me to imagine right
That’s not going to be conflicting with any sort of theology is it
Ok good, then hug me

But not one of these side ways one arm around the neck type hugs
Or the ghetto right hand clasp fists elbows to chest pit pat on the back back
Or you put your right arm over my right arm and I put my left arm over your left arm and we make this weird sort of diagonal thing
Nah none of those

BEAR HUG ME MAN
Take your old school carpenter arms and throw them over my upper body leaving my arms dangling underneath yours somewhere and I can barely move them because your squeezing so hard

But don’t pick me up and make my back pop because I hate it when people do that

And hold me, hold me here in your arms until I start to cry because
I WANT TO CRY
But I just can’t seem to do it on my own
I have been teary eyed once recently but not even enough for a drip down my cheek
Theres just hurt in my soul that needs to be purged so hold me in this hold pose until the pain is flowing from my eyes and nose

I find a fatal flaw in the logic of love

I feel like a shell.......thats buried under a 1 tonne mound of crap.
Australia seems farther away then ever. 5 months may as well be 5 decades at the rate im going.





I'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find

Because it was nothing like we ever dreamt, our lust for life had gone away...

I find the only thing keeping me sane these days is music. As cliche as that sounds its so very true. Kids are going to be the death of me, Im suprised im not violently ill, children are naturally swimming in millions of germs . All they do all day is stretch out their grubby hands towards you after they coughed in them and touch your mouth/face or something else equally as stupid.

This last month has left me feeling like a big massive mound of crap and wondering why I ever wanted to graduate. Im so sorry to everyone who said "Treasure this time, Highschool is the best years of your life" and then I laughed after they said it and totally didnt belive them, I didnt think it could possibly get worse than highschool. It did.
And now Im thinking it cant possibly get worse than THIS , but it will. man, i dont even have to pay rent and support kids and im complaining.
Shut up steph. Stop complaining.

Anyways. to the main point of this post.

You know how when you were a kid and all you wanted to do all day every day is be outside? You had dirt that was caked on to your feet and that 1 inch mass was considered your shoes because when your a kid its ok to be stinky and dirty, your feet were immune to cuts from being outside so long anyways.
You remember the fight you would put up when your mom even suggested coming inside?

What ever happend to those kind of kids? I work at a summer program and all the kids want to do is stay inside. If you mention going outside they put up such a fuss you practically have to drag them outside. And after 5 minutes of being outside they pull on your shirt and go " Im hot and thirsty, Im going inside"

the age of when kids start acting like teenagers is loweing at a very suprising and upsetting rate.

Where have all the children gone?

Someday you will be loved

I havent blogged in a while...considering how much I usually blog anyways

Heres the haps in my life

Just graduated, huzzah. Totally doesnt feel like 2 week since our grad....weird. It feels like 2 months
How Im feeling since then? Two words for you guys. Burnt...Out

I go from no job to 2 jobs working everyday, my only day off since july 3rd was this last sunday and I wont get another one until who knows when. maybe not until the end of the summer because im on call every sunday.Yippie, Not that I dont like my jobs, its just alot to juggle.

on top of that ( im not complaining about this this is TOTALLY 100% my fault ) I have been hanging out with the most unlikely group for the past week and a couple days until 2 am every night.
Whos this unlikely group you ask?
Me, Alyssa Pigglen, Brennan, Kendall, Cody, Kurtis, Nick, Alex Bolan, and the new kid

Oh thats right. We have a new kid. His names brandon and he likes hockey, thats about all I know about him because hes really quiet. Hes going into grade 12 though.

mmmm yep if my memory is serving me correctly thats about all thats new with me....Im boring.

Grad ramblings

I cant even express how fun grad was ( minus after grad. that kind of stunk a bit but when are after grads ever fun?)
But the banquet. ceremonies and after after rocked my face off.

Everyone was so nice to each other this whole week so it sucks that im going to have to leave them all and not be able to see them again. Honestly. that really makes me sad.

The banquet went well considering me and bryan were the MCs and they totally switched the order on us and didnt tell us. that rocked. but apparantly we pulled it off well.
Mr B didnt talk about dragon flies this time so that was cool

The ceremonies seemed pretty short for our class size, our history and prophecy rocked ( Ill put mine up here later. i dont have my memory book with me so i forget some of it ) and everyone seemed to have a good time.
it was so good seeing people you havent seen in forever, if any of you read this thank you SOO much for coming out, it means alot, seriosly. ( even the ones I see often )

The after after grad was suprisingly one of my highlights because nothing got out of hand , nobody started anything, I met a whole bunch of people and there wasnt much peer pressure.
Although I dont think iv ever gotten that many hugs in my life from people I dont know and from people who I didnt think ever would. But thats what you get mixing grad with alchahol.
Im very glad I went and even glad I stayed the whole night ( because my ride left without me )

Man im gonna miss some of those people.
Stink...


( ill put up photos when my laptop comes, this computer stinks )

I'll name him crazy talk

So on the way to work today ( haha I LOVE being able to start stories like that) I got out of my car and started walking towards the midtown and this homeless man stood up from where he was sitting and started walking beside me.
He struck up a very odd conversation which was harmless enough so the least I could do was listen to the poor guy and add in a few " oh yah " s.
He first pointed towards the construction machines and he says " Those are from the GOVERMENT arent they?"
He continued with " you see all this dust blowing around? they need to clean up eh? they need to clean up these weeds eh, those wont do any good there eh. you see that dirt in the corner there? how are they gonna get that out eh??"
He then proceeded to talk about soil erosion and how he learned it in school and then started pointing at his eyepatch and explained how dust is blowing everywhere and bugs can fly into your eyes .
He bid me farewell at the corner as I walked across the cross walk and reminded me that mice were gross. He seemed satisfied at the information he presented me with and he was on his way.

He was an intresting man, although a little bit strange.
It was kind of sad to see but Im sure he hasn't talked to someone for a long time and meant no harm to anyone, he just needed to tell someone a story, so I thought Id humor him and pretended to be interested in his paranoid antics for that short walk to the crosswalk while most people just ignored him or told him off.


Thats my story about the kind of man most people dont have time for. I personally found him interesting/funny and a different start to my day.

I am the (wo)man!

I just got an official call from australia ( not the whole country (haha janelle. a 49283626467 way call) ) and I got told I am officially accepted for the reef to outback DTS!
I rock!

Im forsurly leaving all you suckers to rot here in dalmeny!
....Aw that wasn't nice. Well...Im leaving all you while you have to STAY in dalmeny.
Better?

The point is im leaving. Forsure. And that makes me more happy then words can describe


I only have 2 more days of highschool life left....Better make the most of it and not do my homework for old times sake.

Im sorry, its my first day.

So I started my job today...

Im hoping its just a case of the "first day of work blues" but...I dont see the glamorous photography studio fantasy being unfurled before my eyes like I was expecting. (well not really "expecting" but you know what i mean )
Instead its kind of a crappy fantasy knock off with an evil perfectionist overlord and really mean servants (with the exception of one).

But thats alright...its my first day right?.....right!?


Bah, responsibilities are for the weak. Im going back to kindergarten.

So long suckas!

Do you remember what it was like to dream, before you were 17?

In 3 days I start my very first job ever ( Barn playhouse doesn't count ) at the Sears portrait studio....I'm 17.....and I've waited until the end of grade 12 to get a job. I have issues.

But this isn't what I intended on blogging about. PSYCHE!


I feel very....inspired today. Too bad its 10:30 and I cant really do anything about it.
For some reason the rain effected me in a positive way today, it injected creativity into my veins and I picked up my camera for the first time in a while and a wrote a bit.
Maybe because it was the good kind of rain instead of a muggy mist but this refreshing rain stopped just in time for me to go out and catch a beautiful sunset tonight. That was pretty cool.

Its getting closer to my graduation day by the minute and I don't think ill have an abundance of these nights left in me. Im going to be SO busy this summer and after summer Im going to be working/being a youth sponsor again so I wont have as much spare time to just bum around.
I think thats the only part of highschool im going to miss....ever

last thought of the night.
I was cleaning/re-ogranizing my room today and i was looking around and if you ever want to find out what im all about or who I am. Look in there. Theres little peices of me everywhere ( not literally of course )
I like it better cleaned up other than in a mess.
Thats one thing about me my room doesn't reflect though.
Im a mess,... I guess.


Sorry about the lame post guys. I felt like writing something and it came out as ...written diahrea.

Gruff Rhys & Bright Eyes

Oh wow....oh wow....oh wow...

I can die tomorrow and I wouldn't even care. my life has been completed!
Except for a few minor flaws, Tonight was overall perfect.

The whole night was packed with genius is all I can say.

Gruff Rhys amazed/surprised the heck out of me. He was halarious and that guy is the definition of creativity and only a live show will ever do him justice. I almost was peeing myself the whole time and thinking "how the crap is he doing that?" and "why is there a plastic bird on the stage?"

And Bright eyes. Well. Im still in awe they even came here. As I was looking up watching conor do his thing ( with alot of spit flying everywhere but thats ok ) with overflowing intensity. I was like....nope. Cant be happening, they wouldnt come to saskatoon. Why would they come to saskatoon?
But they were....and im glad.
Although they didnt play some of the songs I was hoping for ( aside from first day of my life and lover I dont have to love ) It was pretty good. I like it when bands play old stuff most people arent familiar with.
The whole band played with such intensity it was insane. The lyrics are perfect and I Loved every second of it

quote of the night said by Conor Oberst.

" this song is written about being put somewhere you dont belong.....like flamingos....in the west edmonton mall.........or a pirate ship.....in the west edmonton mall.....or me .....walking around in the west edmonton mall"




I have succeeded in seeing two of my favorite bands in two months....I do declare that I win.

Sometimes....

Sometimes I seriosly question if some people actually have a single working brain cell in their skull.

Quest for a porcupine...day 1

Hahaha...What the heck? So this is the story of our potential porcupine under our deck


One day. I walked outside and looked under the deck...there was big mounds of dirt and a hole. My first thought was. haha...bears stupid(my dog). Because he likes to lie in cool ground so I assumed it was him.

Fast forward a couple days...I find a bunch of porcupine quills in bear. and I think it was just from me and him walking on the railroad tracks when he was rolling around in the ditch. But the last few days we are finding more. Unless hes escaping to the railroad tracks everyday...it must be coming from somewhere close.

So the thought comes to me....wait a minute...porcupines live in holes....So me and brennan went to the backyard tonight to investigate, the hole definatly couldnt have been dug by bear because it goes like...under a lawn mower. But since porcupines are noctournal we figured me must be out and about doing his porcupine thing and he was nowhere to be seen.

Our adventure continues tomorow when hes fast asleep...perhaps.

I think I might be growing attached to him....if hes even there....if we discover him and isnt killed by brennan...I think I might have to name him..

Which makes me think...if there is...what the crap are we supposed to do to keep it from hurting our dog? Minus killing it...because i dont want to.

Im a workin girl now!

Best day ever

Our whole class ( minus adam and mark ) skipped today and went to Rickies all day grill and to the dollarama just to mess around. we came back and watched a movie at thomas's and baked cookies

But I come home expecting to get yelled at because the teachers called everyone and I got in trouble anyways. but instead i come home to call from the police dept. and im like...uhoh. But then I realize its them calling saying I got the job i applied for!!!

I am now offically the assistant summer program coordinator here in town and I start July 4th!

Huzaah!!

Worst...idea....ever

*thinks to self*
Hey! maybe ill go for a walk down the railroad tracks in this +30 weather. That should be fun!


.......it wasnt...im hot...and sticky...and muddy from chasing my dog into a puddle because he wouldnt get out of it.

A challenge from a dreamer

Write down your life list and watch it unfold before your eyes.
Seriosly, Its facinating seeing the dreams you have come true and be accomplished in such a short time.

Never stop dreaming

i'm a creature and these are my THREE hot friends (including the man with his leg up on the water fountain)

So, as the title says. these pictures of my hot friends will summarize the events of my night....kind of.. Not really. but there fun anyways
normally Id post this excellence in my photoblog...but i signed onto this one instead by accident

Anyways..Meet Carrie Sawatzky.
This is not her first time modelling for me ( search through the archives and youll see some pretty nasty pictures of her....I mean....no...no thats what i meant)
She likes rain dances and men with long flowing hair

This is Jess Roberts. This IS in fact the first time she has graced the presence of my camera in an artistic form. A natural? You tell me
Two words to sum her up would be. Piano Pop
she is intrested in hot men from resturants ( specifically chiantis ) and little boys (specifically regan )
If your either one of those. Hit me up for her number. Shes totally single

Here is some of my creations with these two sexys

Oh yes...the REAL star in this picture is the guy in the background. he was the main focus initially hence carries expression.
hot.

I wouldnt call it church. the way these spirits work

Listening to Excuse me while I drink myself to death by spent


I found out the way I deal with tradgedy this weekend.
Alot different than most people I know.
You see, it's 3 days later. And I dont even care. Its over. Were fine. Im praising the Lord for my life.
Im ready to move on but it just confuses me how people clutch onto this situation and dwell on it.
I mean, it impacted me and it affected my way of life. But im not going back to the crash site and be staring at the pictures for hours. Pondering about what COULD have happend

My philosphy is if you focus on the "what if" your going to be a lot worse off than if you focus on the "what did"



Were going to visit the bus driver today after school in the hospital.
They confirmed he had a heart attack. I think it will be interesting, Im looking forward to it.
Me personally have no resentment towards him at all, Even when it happend. I dont think its fair to put something like that on someone when you think of how bad they must feel already.



But moving on since you guys are probably sick and tired of hearing about this.

Its raining again today. Im not as happy as when its sunny out. But its a nice kind of rain today.
I look out the window and everythings green and pretty. I think im going out to take pictures today ( my camera is safe and sound and deisle free! huzzah! ) Today is inspiring



P.S. I got my bright eyes ticket yesterday!!!!!!!!!

And if anyone can think of a company name for a photography thing, Its more so for copyright purposes but anything thats catchy would do.

One heck of a wake-up call

Why are we alive when all signs pointed to that at least half of us should have died in that crash?
My head hurts and i ache. But God is SOOOOOOOOOOO good I cannot stress that enough to you.
If this is not a miracle I dont know what is.
You wanted your proof of an existance of God...well here you have it

Taken from Global Saskatoon

BORDEN, Sask. -- Three people are in hospital after a charter bus carrying 52 passengers slammed into a bridge abutment in central Saskatchewan.

RCMP say the bus left the westbound lane of Highway 16, crossed the ditch and crashed into the Borden Bridge, about 50 kilometres northwest of Saskatoon, but did not roll or flip.

Sgt. Brian Jones says the male bus driver and two passengers were sent to hospital in Saskatoon with undetermined injuries.

The remaining passengers were taken to the firehall in the nearby community of Langham to contact their families and make other travel arrangements.

Emergency crews had to contain some diesel fuel that spilled following the crash.

The name of the bus owner and the vehicle's final destination have not been released.


God is good. God is good.

And im not telling this story to be all " Oh man look what IV been through, im so much better than you "
Im sharing it because this was a moment in my life where im deciding to live my life in a different manor.
No more taking life for granted and saying the cliche " It will never happen to me. it only happens to people I dont know"
Well you are always a stranger to someone else. And anything can happen



Ack. One more time for good measure
God is GOOD

Mr.sun, Whats your problem?

I found myself snapping at people today and all I could do was smile and say
"Oh dont worry about me, I get cranky when it rains"
Note to self: Dont move to the East Coast
Whats my problem? Im a horrible person.

But seriosly, You know those chocolate bars they call "fun size"? To me that's a blatant lie.
My philosophy of fun size is that bigger is better.
You give me a Mars bar that is 10 feet long, 4 feet high and 3 feet wide...THEN we're talking fun.


(why is it that I plan on a blog being short it ends up 3 times longer. Does that happen to anyone else or am I a mutant blogger of some sort)

Well for all of you who are the music savvy type
Look at this picture and tell me how many "bands" you see in it
Ie: Guns and roses...
Hmmm...its a little small....weeeellll...suck it up.

Rant time! ( Updated )

OK when I talk with Jess it always gets me in the mood to be angry at people....well.not angry...just...frustrated.
And thats not a bad thing by the way Jess


Here. I will rant about everyone that makes me mad. Because I can. Ha

1. People who pretend to be something there not.
You know the typical. Punk, Indie music snob, The stereotype of "emo" ( which is a whole other catagory in itself. Not the people. The stereotype ), prep, skater
Just anyone in general where its insanly obvious there putting on a show
" Rawr im punk..F bush because hes a nazi. Even though I know nothing about politics. Im loud so listen to me REBEL AGAINST THE SYSTEM "
" Man I have this band I love but I wont even bother saying the name because you know...youve probably never heard of them because there so underground "
" Im an emo kid, I dont even know what emo means so im going to go write poetry and cry because thats what I think emo means"
" ah HA I have a boyfriend!"
" I carry a skateboard around but dont actually skate...im such a rebel"
Anyone whos identity consists of feeding off of other people they know and not finding something for themselves. That makes me mad as well. I mean get a mind of your own and stop stealing who other people are!

2. People who pretend like they know so much about music
Iv been through this. People who wear those "the doors" and "rolling stones" shirts from bluenotes should be shipped off to an island and left there to die.
honestly my #1 pet peeve
I mean. I think its ok if they listen to the band. But dont pretend. I cannot count how many times iv said to someone
"can you name 3 pink floyd songs" and they replyd " no I just thought the shirt looked cool"

Even more annoying is when people pretend to know what there talking about. You know those people im talking about listing all these bands they like but when you ask whats their favorite song by them they say "oh iv only heard one song"
I love oasis, Wonderwall rocks! is my least favorite phrase Besides like...Whos bob dylan?......... * stabbed*

I mean im not claiming to know all there is about music. Or else I would totally be a hypocrite. Because I really don't.
I mean its an area I have an intrest in and I know some things to the point where I know if people are BSing

3. People who are close minded and niave
This is a second pet peeve of mine
1st of all in the area of music. “ I hate that band”
“have you heard them?”
“Well, no”
*Axed*
And before you start calling me a hypocrite. I have tried listening to country, I listen to it frequently when im with carrie. And iv established I don’t like it. I like a few songs but that’s it

Second in the area of not knowing about something or someone and making an automatic judgement, for example
*sees someone who is a “partier” walking down the street*
“Oh I bet there drunk”
Yes….Because that’s what everyone who drinks is like during the week and all the time on weekends. Walking around by themselves drunk

Or even when people assume what its like at parties. And they make the assumption everyone there drinks so much they all are puking and passing out all over the place., Like I mean, It happens…but not ALL the time. Theres such thing as a party that the cops don’t crash.

Or when people assume someone who parties is mean and obnoxious.
I think some of the nicest people I know are “partiers”

And lastly when people say things like
“their gay, write a letter to your prime minister discussing your rage”
first of all. Thanks for speaking for me and saying that it in fact enrages me. Im glad your making up my mind about the issue.
The fact is, it doesn’t. It doesn’t affect me and the only thing I can do is tolerate it.
Im not saying I agree with it. But I mean. Arent we supposed to “love your neighbour as yourself”
That’s what I thought anyways.

4. People who get everything handed to them on a silver platter ,And still complain!!
I dont think i need to say anything else on this subgect except...
"Daaaaddy im sick of the new sweater you bought me....buy me another one"
"Daaaaddy buy me that car?, Ew its the wrong color take it back"
"I dont have enough clothes" *pout*



Enough said. Im getting a little too worked up. haha

A kiss on your molten eyes

This weekend was good.
Lacking of sleep. But good.

Nothing like a weekend at Kadesh when the sun is shineing, the aqua is blasting and your getting all relaxed and sleepy on the couches outside. it was honestly a prefect day.

I thought Getting up at 5 that morning to watch the sun rise over the lake was totaly worth it as well. ( Dispite the fact I only got an hour of sleep )Sunrises are so much better than sunsets.
For everyone who reads this blog that isnt from saskatchewan ( Which...I doubt there is any ) My sky kills your sky. I promise.
Although I fell asleep on the couch outside and got woken up by the rain and the idea that I missed supper. The day was amazing.


In other news, This evening I dragged myself out of my house ignoring that I was dead tired and went on an adventure with my rollerblades featuring musical guests the shins.
It was a much needed activity. Nothing beats gliding around town while listening to some good tuneskies while the sun is going down. This has become almost a daily ritual for me and its feelin great. So refreshing.

You guys. Go. Leave the house and go rollerblading right now, I know it looks awkward flopping all over the place trying to stay balanced when you run into those stupid gravel bits. But come on, ....they're shoes on wheels. That should be insentive enough.



Oh yah. Heres a picture of me looking like a dink with my new haircut and massive studs if you guys havent seen it yet.
Hurrah!


Edit: pictures taken out because i decided it was gross and it looked alot shorter than it was. for those who seen the picture before. it was up in a ponytail. i swear, haha

The story of the lonliest girl in the world

One night a boy named David came to the bus stop in hopes of catching it in time to make it to his favorite late night screening of memoiores of geshia

Just then his friend Greg approached the bus stop, in a panic david quickly tried to think of an excuse for why he was there.....

There was no need. Greg quickly confessed he was also going and so the two quickly jumped into an argument with each other to see who has seen it more times.
Greg said "lets take this outside. we have at least 15 minutes before the bus comes"

Just as Greg was about to make David eat some pavement they noticed someone approaching the bus stop...Someone...grotesque

Realizing all the seats were taken the girl quietly stood beside david. David was beginning to feel overly awkward with this creepy specimen standing beside him. ( haha aw i actually do look kind of creepy )

So he made a break for it. Hed rather run to his movie then spend another moment in that plastic chamber with that girl

What the heck!?
exclaimed the girl and greg

How you doin' The girl says aloud
Oh no....NO!!! greg is now thinking. She didnt just sit beside me....she couldnt have....
Greg is now staring out the window at david in the distance...hes got an idea....That might just work...

...

Crud.

And the bus never came....

The future freaks me out.

As I have been looking back on some previous posts of mine and I have decided

Im too concernd with the future....seriously, theres no way im going to change things in the future if I dont start fixing things in the here and now

I cant do great things without a starting point, Im thinking these things just spring up out of the blue and everything is magically going to mend and work itself out if I just let it do its thing. Life doesnt work like that....Nothing works like that. Who am I kidding? Things wont magically unfold before my very eyes. Thats stupid that I have to tell myself that. Honestly. Does anything ever work out that way?

I live my life for the next hour. The next Month, The next year.
Why. Whats the point in that? I should just live my life where it is right now in the present.
Eventually the future isnt going to be the future anymore and whats left to live for?
Sounds like the most logical/ (ill admit) cliche thing to do, Aside from the fact of it being super cliche..Why dont I do it?

Maybe im sick of having to deal with things I thought were fixed and Id never have to deal with again.
Maybe I dont HAVE the words of comfort or reason for anyone right now.
Maybe I cant make a diffrence here


Or maybe im just too selfish.
Man who am I kidding...scratch that maybe.
That needs to change before anything else.

Metric + Blake Sennet = Hooray!

So the day that I thought was going to be the most incredible day of my life....was....but only turned out only to be incredible in the evening.

I woke up and I felt like a 2 meter high pile of crap. I was throwing up ( Which I haven't done in like 4 years ) And im curled up on my couch wrapped in a blanket shaking while im thinking "....must.....go.....to metric....tonight "

It took almost the whole day to shake off my sickness ( or at least convince myself that I shook it off ) and 7:45 rolled around!
I was feeling better and ready to have a fun night with brooke starting off by going to earls for cheesecake.

Im all pumped I get in the car and start for the city looking at very wrong directions to this restraunt iv never been to.
I think all is fine and dandy until I realize im horribly lost ( haha your probably suprised THAT happend )
I look at the clock and im at least 15 minutes late to I park and call my parents to ask for directions. After about another 5 - 10 minutes I finally find earls but I have to park 3 blocks down because Its packed.
I come running up to the door and found out Brooke has been there since 8 because she thought I said 8 instead of 8:30, We dont know if he have enough time now so we ask if we can cancel our spot to go somewhere else but they squeeze us in anyways.
By this time im calmed down and having a good time when Brooke brings up that she almost forgot her ticket. Right then time stood still and like a million thoughts crashed into my head at once " CRAP!!!!!!!! I FORGOT MY TICKET!!!!"
Panic strikes....45 minutes to the show...and no ticket.
So we tell the waitress thanks for squeezing us in....but we have to go.. the freakin idiot forgot her freakin ticket.
By this time im feeling so horrible I just want to die. So I call my parents ( who are also in the city ) to inform them of my retarded situation and my mom offers to go get it for us.
Great, But we cant go back into earls. We just left. So what do we do? Go to dairy queen! its not cheesecake but hey.

I finally got my ticket ( after slamming my head in the car door ) and we rush off to the concert , the first band is already playing but thats ok they arent really that great.
Its packed and no one has a sense of personal space as with every other concert.
This is where my day starts to turn around

We find out the elected is opening and I didnt realize that the elected contains the one and only Blake Sennate from Rilo Kiley ( with a nasty pimp stash ). Im now giddy as a 12 year old girl seeing Nsync.
They were amazing and Blake reminds me of Jack white and Connor Oberst at the same time for some reason.

After the show he stood by my for a minute and I had an overwhelming urge to hug him and scream but I figured I wouldnt because you know...that MIGHT be creepy.

Then Metric comes on....Oh wow. I think my mouth was open the entire time. Emily Haines is my hero, shes so cool....I could say a million things about the concert but this has been long enough so Im going to end off by some pictures of my heros that actually turned out decent for how far back we were. And by saying if your ever at a concert and someone is very close behind you to the point touching you half the time…Please….PLEASE don’t shake your butt the whole time..Its REALLY awkward.

Control

I dont want to wake up tomorow so dont even try
Leave me to dream and walk on by
Im not up for the challenge of living today

Iv fallen victim to another stereotype this week.
If you think you know who I am. you dont. I! dont even know who I am





Highschool is flying by so fast lately.
You would think I would be excited but it just leaves more uncertainty and stress exposed as the days are slowly decreasing before everyone ( including myself ) expects me to have my life all together.

Everything that I thought was going to fall nicely in place is falling everywhere but where its supposed to.
Why cant one thing in my life go without uncertainty or somewhat along the lines of what I expect

But I guess its not about what I expect. Its about what God has planned
And thats harder for me to accept than you might think.
I like to be in control of things, and just to show me. Hes taken that comfortable steering wheel with the super sporty cover and the breaks have been cut.

Sometimes I wish the Lord didnt work in mysterious ways. But that wouldnt be any fun.
I couldnt imagine not being able to go hurdling down a hill at a very high speed without steering or breaks.

Its exhilerating but at the same time you just want it all to stop before you launch off the cliff and smash into the canyon at the bottom.

*Girlish scream*

So I walk in to my house today and my dad runs to the top of the stairs and goes
"EEEE!! Oh man oh man oh man!, I just found out the greatest thing on earth!!!"
*Prances around waving hands while his elbows are planted on his side*

Then he shows me this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Roj6U79xuh4&search=the%20Simpsons%20Movie%20Trailer%20film%20homer%20superman
Edit: Crud....the link doesnt work. Well its a Simpsons Movie



All I have to say is. I have mixed emotions, Because the rate that theyre going with new episodes I think we are all going to be very dissapointed.
Why couldnt this have been done during like...season 4-6?
Who knows.

Dont live your life like a movie

Go downtown, catch the early movie
The shows are cheaper, they don't mind if you put your feet up
She's out on the highway
She's got a homemade sign it says
"Go ahead, try to figure out what my future looks like"

I don't want to live my life like a story
always thinkin I could've been something
Don't run alongside and control me
Just film away and let me be
At ease, I, I feel fine
I'll move on, I'll go on

There's something so divided
Don't worry about me I'll be fine
Don't live your life for me or for anyone
You live your life as if you're one
You live your life as if you're one
Find quiet, it's awful quiet

How can you be mad, we've just got started
I want to shave my head and lie in bed all day long
How can you be mad, we've just got started
Live your life as if you're one
Live your life as if you're one
At ease, I, I feel fine
I'll go on, I'll move on

Don't live your life like a movie
Always thinkin you could've been something
Don't live your life for me or for anyone
You live your life as if you're one
You live your life as if you're one
Find quiet, it's awful quiet
Find quiet

My life is so cool

Whoever is telling people im not a good employee....stop it! haha...But seriosly....I really need a job ....stop it

Well I went in today to drop off some more resumes. Here is my status with the job hunt

Hmv ( 2 ) - don't even know why I bothered trying. You basically need to look the part or know someone.
But they kept my resume "on file" I think that is code for "in the garbage".
CD plus - See above
Music World - See above the above
Scotts Parables- Hired someone in the position I wanted a day before I came in. Lets see. how many times has THIS situation came my way? Oh right...its the story of my life.
Broadway Roastary - SAID they were firing someone in the next few days and they would give me a call. They didn't...cool
Old folks home - Also came in a day too late
AG foods - A billion people applied but they hired Brittany instead. Kevin said they were looking for more full time....shoot, that one was close.
Smart Set - I don't even know what happened
Travelodge- Gave my application today. Although it doesnt look too promising
Pet Land- The most promising of them all. Although Im not getting my hopes up but they did say they were hiring and to call them in a couple days.


I know what your all going to say " baaaaaah Steph your too picky" And yes. Yes I am. I will agree with you fully.
I refuse to work at a fast food restaurant or at Tim Hortons during the dreaded roll up the rim to win season Because people are SOOO anal about bloody paper cups.
But if all my other options run out... I will apply there. I promise I will.
but im not going to go anxiously running to settle for a job when theres better potential jobs out there for me.
So if I dont find a decent job soon. Ill settle ok? I give in. You win.


Anyways. I need a job....Anyone know of anything out there?