Changes are sometimes good

As I woke up this morning. ( to the zelda theme song on my phone... for the record )
It was a beautiful monday morning, the birds outside were chirping and there was the scent of bushfire lingering in the morning air ( which is one of my favorite smells )
I would normally be sleeping during this hour on my normal day off. But not today ...No, I didnt get woken up by drills or kids like I normally do....Nope. Today was something different.

And the first thought on my mind as i woke up, before anything else. was


" What the HECK am i DOING!? "


Ah yes. Today marked the first day of staff training for the October DTS, and i am front row center

My weekend was totally flipped around when i was approached on friday about staffing the October DTS. Mulling it over and over and over in my brain until I couldn't possibly mull it any more, for fear of getting sick. This sunday afternoon ( yesterday if you were counting ). I reluctantly said yes...to start on monday ( today....if your counting )

I said yes after alot of processing with ALOT of people and came in today with the expectancy that God has something bigger planned for me then i could ever dream about.
In the back of my mind, I knew i couldn't stay where I was at. I was getting stuck in this horrible rut of a routine without any glimpse of a way out. But alas this opportunity seemed to be a light on the horizon so to speak.

Anyways. the first question asked in staff training was " How do you feel about starting the school? "
Everyone pretty much said they had a sense of expectancy. were a bit nervous and felt a little unprepared. but knew they could handle it because it was in Gods hands ( most of whom have staffed a school before. sans Dave Hedges )

All I could think was " oh HECK no " ( seriously. I think for the first 15 minutes all that was running through my head was " whatamidoing-whatamidoing-

whatamidoing-whatamidoing"

But that attitude quickly changed over the next couple hours as Buddy ( our school leader ) was sharing vision for the school and what he wanted to see and what he was expecting.

Needless to say. My outlook on it is very different. I went shopping today right after, and I stepped out my door with a new bounce in my step and a new outlook on life. Knowing im leaving the old routine behind. stepping into a .....very busy schedule....

Thats beside the point.

All i know is despite how insanely busy we will be. Its going to be HEAPS of fun.
We have a pretty multi cultural... and random staff group going on here. Aidan. from England, Dave from Australia, Our school leader Buddy from New Zealand, Amelia and Lindsey from America, Helen from the Channel Islands and me. A Canadian.
So all in all it seems like a really fun group. and looking at the students ( on paper....yeah...kind of creepy ) today. They seem like a really fun group as well.

All in all. Im very very excited for the school to start in a week and a half. (ish) and im really stoked to be a part of these students lives in the next 5 1/2 months, Im looking forward to seeing them step into and find out who they are...

And thought some of you might like to know what im up to for the next bit of my life here in Australia.....so.....ta da!

off some movie. i dunno. i thought it was nice. and i wish i could do this

Go after him. Dont just sit there and wait for him to call
go after him because thats what you should do if you love someone
Dont wait for them to give you a sign cause it might never come.
There are people i might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me at 4 in the morning because they need to tell me right now
and i always thought id be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a crap to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest
and making someone fall in love with you is easy and flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you cant just sit there and do nothing and breath into telephones.
its not everyones idea of love but its the way i can recognize it because that is what i do
go scream it and be with him in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is , that is raw and that is unguarded and what is all that is worth anything, really

Literally. the best blog you will ever read

it·er·al·ly adv. - In a literal manner; word for word.


Im sure many of you have heard many rants by me on this subject. rightfully so. because it is one of my ( many ) biggest pet peeves.
but I have noticed alot more lately, people using the word literally, way out of context and saying things like

“I’m so hungry, I could literally eat a horse.”

When you use the word literally, you are stating that you mean exactly what you are saying with no exaggeration, or metaphor . It means that until you have eaten an ENTIRE horse, you will not be full.

Literally is commonly MISused to emphasize or qualify what your saying is true

So if your saying "it was literally the worst movie iv ever seen" and you actually mean it. just say it and mean it. Don’t qualify it. If you’re a person of your word, which we all should be, we will all believe it when you say it.

I am one to pick on phrases and words, but I will rarely suggest that one is thrown out. But dare i say. I think this is a word we could do without.

Throw out literally. No one will miss it.

So go ahead. in your day to day walk. you will be suprised at how often people ( without thinking usually ) misuse this word. its often halarious. but mostly annoying
Me and a friend were going to illustrate a book called

" Literally. the best book you have ever read"

and draw what people were LITERALLY saying ( phrases we have overheard personally )
We already have collected quite the hefty list of offenders.
some of my favorite being.

" We are going to literally turn this city upsidown! " ( that would take ALOT of work and ALOT of people will probably be angry )
" He was literally living out of his suitcase" ( small man? or obscenely large suitcase? )
" Their jaws literally dropped" ( ew )
"When we got off the plane. there were literally a sea of people " ( really? when you got off the plane there was no other option of mobilization but to swim through the twisted and mangled crowd before you? or did you need a canoe!?)

Post script: Anyone that has spoken with me in person knows that I am guilty for using ALOT words out of context, so if we are announcing a nationwide 'free for all' on the English language, maybe I would be able to speak more freely in person without fearing regret or embarrassment for my lack of speaking abilities. If that is the case, I will literally fly up into the air, spin three times, and ironically fall to my impending doom

Written by my friend mitch. but profound none the less

As the title suggests. this was written by my good friend mitch. so all credit goes to him. but it was something that challenged me big time. and i thought i would share it with you guys





So. This morning, as I was eating my cereal, I was reading about Noah (Genesis 6,7 & 8) and what a fun little story it is! Perhaps it seems like a story that everyone knows, sunday school, and I guess it is. Thing I love is how God works through the bible in new ways all the time! No matter how many times you've read a particular passage or heard a certain story there is more that God can and will show you through it.

Anyway, I'm reading away, somewhere about Verse 15 in Chapter 8 where it says something to the effect of 'Release all of the animals so they can be fruitful and multiply, filling the earth'. Thing is there were only two of each animal to do the fruitful multiplication gig. I don't know about you, but I'm cautious kind of guy, I like to have a few fail safes in place when I'm planning something. If this had of been me and God said, take two of each animal to repopulate the earth, I would have been skeptical of the tactic to say the least. I probably would have argued with God, and maybe would have tried to sneak a few more of the cuter critters onto the Ark as well and disguise them as furniture or kids toys. TWO ANIMALS. What happens if one of the animals gets sick (everything would have been mighty damp, lots of room for infection!) or hurt (I've seen a brand new $50,000+ stud bull be rendered useless to everyone but McDonalds by the careless stepping of one of his girlfriends) or lost or or what if they got off the boat and the two anteaters simply decided that they didn't like each that much after all, decided to split up all their possessions half and half and went their serperate ways? I'm not going to be joining Greenpeace anytime soon but I do like animals, you'd think Noah would have been allowed to take some extra cattle on board just to ensure that a good steak could be had in generations to come or a couple more pigs so that his great great grandkids could know the rapture of a bacon and eggs brunch. But no. God was specific, and surprise surprise true to his word. He looked after the animals. They were fruitful. They multiplied. We still have anteaters, we still have cows, we still have bacon. Praise God.

I don't know if Noah had any of these doubts going in, maybe he did, maybe he was too distracted by the other major issues of Ark building, snooty neighbours and impending global distruction, maybe he was a man of quiet faith. It leaves me with a question though, when God's speaks into my life. How much faith do I have?

Desperation

Desperation......This topic really has seemed to come up alot lately. at Youthstreet, Church, Staff Meeting and now my quiet time. So this gave me a desire to outwardly prossess all thats been going on in my head.

The main point I was challenged with is, are we REALLY desperate for Jesus, are we so Desperate for a relationship with God that everything but spending time with him seems dull and mundane and you cant even fathom choosing something else over a good, quality hang out time with Jesus.

Now. what does being desperate really mean? Its easy to say it and not know its full intended meaning. We often ask Jesus to make us desperate to seek him. but do we truly know what we are asking ?

So naturally...I was intrigued and I looked up the definition of desperation and what i found was this .....Recklessness arising from despair
Now, I started to think of what desperation could mean, in a tangible way, and I thought out a scenario in which recklessness WOULD arise from a situation of despair

Now... Imagine for a second that your drowning...
Tell me.... Is your first instinct to go and watch TV? Hang out with friends? Sleep? ( although, techincally thats what you would end up doing if that was your first instinct )
NO!, its to get AIR, and nothing else matters in that moment except to get that oxygen in order to survive. Everything that is rational, safe, and sane escapes you and your left clawing your way to the surface by any means nessasary! No matter what! thats what your body is programmed to do in such a situation. a situation of dire despair, your body is called to survival mode. Its programmed to give you that DESPERATION to fight for your life.

What also comes to mind is that Lady in the Bible who was hemmoraging for a ridiculous amount of years or something. She had no other options left. She tried everything and she was in a desperate state. So she did what she HAD to do. She PUSHED through the crowd of people , into the centre of a mob probably getting no less than stomped on and yelled at. But no matter the consequence. Her mind wasn't fixed on what people would think, or what would happen as a result of that action. The only thing she was fixed on, is the only thing she had left, and that was touching Jesus.

Desperation is like having tunnel vision. To zero on your subject. your healer, Your breath of air, and fight for it with an intensity like your life depends on it.

I love you, I respect you, and im sure your a very very nice person but GET OUT OF MY WAY because i have GOT to touch Jesus!!

So last night I prayed a very dangerous prayer. One that I understand a bit more then when i started ( but far from understanding it fully )

" Jesus. Make me desperate for you "

ripping off teri ( or being inspired by....whichever)

Lately iv heard the phrase
"what are you planning on doing with your life?"
thrown around alot. and especially being in YWAM. i get this question alot more than most (being a non profit organization, i dont get paid, so surely i cant live like this forever right?......right???)
Well iv been thinking alot about what it means to " do something with your life" and ive come to a short list of things i can answer with. maybe not the answer they want. but a response i am happy with none the less

so what do i want to spend my life doing?


I want to spend my life actively resisting everything that destroys life. I want to love people unconditionally, I want to understand people and their motives, I want to watch people discover themselves in ways they never thought possible. I dont want to see people close to me ( or even those not so close ) waste away from drug addiction, instead i want to work towards seeing someone set free. I want to give "troubled youth" a 2nd chance. Heck, I want to give them a 3rd 4th 5th 6th 59th chance. I want to love the unloved. i want to share my stuff with people who need it more than I do. I want to make people understand they are valued and worth something.
I want to take more photos and use it as a tool to show Gods faithfulness and beauty. I want to take more photos of people and tell the amazing stories of the people i meet. I want to create beautiful things out of something ugly
I want to go for walks to appreciate Gods creation, I want to dream.
But most of all, I want to love God with all of my being. ( good call on the last line teri haha )

It really depends on what your view of life is, as to what you want to do with it...




( ps. , again. thanks for inspiring this post Teri )

Im having a hard time remembering the things i should remember. and forgetting the things i should forget.

If anyone knows me. they know that im an outward processor. so this is just a outward vomit of everything thats been in my brain the last week.

The topic of choice lately with some of my friends lately has definatly been the inevitable subject of dating * dun dun DUN * ( in fact my mom even asked me today if i was bringing a date to my cousins wedding, i mean really. thats a pretty big commitment haha....bringing someone they havent met to scary family functions across the world? no thanks. )

....and you know.....Im kind of over getting all excited about it anymore. I go about my life and I am surrounded by attractive (and not so attractive) males and I only know a few deep level, I mean some i would even consider some of my very best friends...but it never goes past that. and there's no reason to drool over guys that aren't into me or share my beliefs

Anyways, i'm just so sick of thinking about it all the time. Every time i meet a guy i think: "Could he be the one?" And of course he's not. He's not interested. He's attractive, he's nice, but he's not him.

And part of the problem with this is the way i've always veiwed things... and I've always been honest when the subject comes up: i'm waiting for a guy to pursue me.
People act like i'm crazy when i admit that (that i want the guy to make the first move). They act like, "How can you honestly expect a guy to have the guts to make the first move?!?"

So after a certain stage. I got sick of waiting. and started to question if i had some sort of horrible deformity growing out of my face i was unaware of , asked everyone i knew about it and the only response they ever gave was that "you'll find him when you stop looking for him"
(who in the world is "they" anyway? it drives me wild how they always feel that they're an authority about my life)
anyways.... they say you'll find him. So i gave up on guys. I didn't find one (i thought i might have, but we never got past the crush stage: he didn't want to be friends even, apparently....).

I slowly started looking again as i got more and more lonely, more and more desperate. I still haven't found him and now i'm a whiney damsel in distress. I don't want that. --i mean. not that want my husband to replace God in my life, but i just don't feel complete being single, either.
Now i know that a lot of people are saying to themselves right now: "You don't need or want a guy, you don't know how lucky you are," blah blah " your travelling the world and doing stuff. focus on that" blah blah

But Frankly i don't want to see the world alone. Sure, i want to go on the Amazing Race but have no one to do it with. I want to travel around the world, but not alone. ... i just want to at least find a guy to give me my first kiss.

Now im not saying I want to find some random guy and date him ( because God knows i would have done that long long long ago if i were that desprate ), but i'm tired of crushes not getting past eye tag and long conversations where we click but nothing happens.

I know i'm weak, i know i should have more patience, because yeah. I am only 20. But with all the dating mumbo jumbo going on around me. every corner I turn makes me want to be in that position...just once.


But the more i think about it.....on the flipside and realisticly ( dont worry guys this is the redemption bit you were hoping for im sure )
i find it funny now that i used to love to use that one verse in (Genesis 2:18-24) to claim my right to want somebody in my life.

When God created Adam and all the animals He saw that Adam was alone and lonely, that there was no companion suitable for him, and so He made one And so if God did that for Adam and Eve i believe that i am designed to perfect one man's life just as he is designed to perfect mine. God made us for each other.

So basically its saying.....adam had complete intimacy with God, yet he still was lonely, or alone, whichever one. its true, we are wired to connect with people.

but here's one thing that i overlook and maybe other people do in the process of trying justify wanting something. My friend told me that he read from a donald miller book, "searching for God knows what". when you read the genesis account, the text says that adam is lonely and there was no suitable helper for him. but notice what comes next. BEFORE adam gets his beautiful wife,
what happens. he names all the animals. now when i read that, it takes me only 5 seconds and so i move on to the next part. but think about that task for a moment. he names all the animals. one by one. now i'm not sure how long it would take. but i imagine a lot more than 5 seconds. somehow i imagine it happening instantly. but it could have taken days, months... who knows? and then after he's done naming them, God gives him what he is looking for, what he couldn't find in all of God's existing creation.
i guess that's where trust comes in.


So....im 20 and still waiting for that first kiss. you can probably say that i've never really had a real boyfriend. crushes, yeah. special friends...yeah. But its worth the wait when you put it into perspective....at least when you think about it long and hard for weeks on end.....

Deeper Camp

"Deeper" was awesome! 12 Youth Street teens (and 4 non-stop staff) spent 8 days at a Christian music festival and then a wilderness survival camp with the sole intent of developing these kids relationships with God. The festival was fun with the highlight being able to see Audio Adrenaline play a reunion show which also proved to be their last ever...but the epic time of the camp was definitely the survivor camp. I was expecting things like rope courses and maybe some canoeing with other outdoor adventure type of things....I was wrong. First our bags got stripped of everything but the bare essentials. No pillow, no deodorant, no toothpaste, no soap, no etc. We were supposed to be out for 4 days but we could only bring 3 shorts/pants and 3 shirts. So up at 4;30am on the first day, we hiked in the pouring rain for about an hour until we were a long way away from anything....and then it began. They gave us a milk crate full of non-perishable food (that of course had no labels) with sardines being the best surprise of all. That food had to last us the entire time we were there. We had to ration. For our shelter, they gave us 2 tarps and 3 pieces of small rope. They said they would provide one dinner for us...so on that first night they brought us our dinner. Chicken. The only thing was....they were still alive. You better believe we ate chicken that night though...

Throughout the course we had different leadership challenges with each person having the chance to lead a small group for an extended period of time. They presented different obstacles that we had to overcome, different competitive games, a 12 kilometer hike with challenges along the way...all in all a very challenging time for the teens (and possibly the staff as well!) but a time that saw enormous amounts of growth as well. Life lessons as well as God lessons were implemented throughout each activity/challenge and we saw the kids grow a lot in character as well as spiritually. One of the teens was a Christian but didn't know how to listen to God...and left hearing God's voice on a daily basis. He didn't know any of the books of the Bible but he felt several times like God was laying verses on his heart so he would get out his Bible and look until he found them. We also had another girl give her life to God for the first time. Really cool.

So yes, Deeper was intense for sure but it ended up being so good. Incredibly tough at times...but God really showed up and some amazing things happened in these kids lives that will last much longer than the 8 days we were gone. Thank you for all your prayers!

2009 truths

First day of 2009!

1. real name – Stephanie Cheryl Anderson
2. like it – its alright, could be more origonal
3. single or taken – single
4. zodiac sign – dont really care. but saggatarius
5. male or female - female
6. elementary – pararie view Elementary School
7. middle – Dalmeny High School
8. high – Dalmeny High School
9. college – n/a
10. hair color – brown
11. eye color -- brown
12. hair length – ~3 inches past shoulders
13. current worry – that i might not get a plane ticket home
14. race – caucasian
15. are you a health freak – not really, but i do enjoy being healthy cuz it feels good, but im usually not
16. height – 5' 2
17. do you have a crush on someone – lol i love that word. and avoiding that question.
18. do you like yourself – sure i'm alright
19. piercings – 5 that are still able to be used
20. tattoos – none
21. righty or lefty – righty

FIRSTS-
22. first surgery – never had
23. first piercings – ears
24. first best friend – Katie Gardner probably
25. first award - lol! 100% attendance
26. first sport – gymnastics or soccer
28. first vacation – other than the lake. BC or florida
29. first teacher - mrs stonehouse
30. first crush – lol either bryan friesen or matt ginther

THIS OR THAT-
31. orange or apple juice – apple
32. rock or rap – rock
34. nsync or backsteet boys – backstreet boys
35. britney spears or christina aguilera – britney
37. sun or moon – moon
38. tv or internet – internet
39. playstation or xbox –dont care
40. kiss or hug – *shrug* hugs
41. iguana or turtle – that ones hard....id say iguana
42. spider or bee – bee
43. fall or spring – fall time a million
44. Limewire or iTunes – itunes
46. soccer or baseball – soccer

CURRENTLY
50. drinking – well...the last i had was water
51. im about to – go eat dinner then watch the dark knight with mitch and shawn
53. singing – i was singing the canadian anthem earlier
54. typing – on this space

FUTURE-
55. want kids – not on purpous....hahahaha
56. when – not for a long time
57. want to get married – very much so
59. where do you want to live – in australia or switzerland
60. how many kids do you want – none if i can help it
62. what did you want to be when you were little – a marine biologist
63. what do you think you'll really be doing – not a clue, something to do with graphic design or photography
64. mellow future or wild – both at their own times
65. Something you would never try – cocaine or meth or anything stupid like that
67. when do you wanna die – i dont really want to get old but all in all its not really up to me ( well it is to an extent...but ya )

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE SEX YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO
68. lips or eyes – eyes
69. hugging or kissing – both
70. shorter or taller – haha. taller definatly. that would be weird
71. tan skinned or light – whatever
72. romantic or spontaneous – both, but not scary spontaneous
73. dark or light hair – dont care
74. muscular or normal – not like..all musculy bulky kind of thing. but a sporty figure
75. hook-up or relationship – relationship
76. similar to you or different – lots of common ground, but some differences are nice

HAVE YOU EVER-
78. kissed a stranger – no
79. drank bubbles – yes i guess? champagne or like...soap bubbles....either way yes
80. broken a bone – yes
81. climbed up a tree – yes
82. broken someones heart - i'm not sure
83. turned someone down – yes
84. had your heart broken – yes
85. liked a friend as more than a friend – yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN-
86. yourself – yes most of the time
87. miracles – yes
88. love at first sight – maybe lust at first sight
89. santa claus – no
90. kissing on first date – definately depends, if youve known the guy forever then sure but if you just met i wouldnt
91. angels – yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY-
92. is there people you want to be with right now – yes
93. who is it – nobody knows him im sure
94. like someone – yes, isnt that the same question as 92?

LASTS-
95. text message - mitch
96. received call – cory
97. call made – dale
98. facebook message – my mom
99. missed call – aaron
100. last hungout with? mitch at his flat watching the simpsons

walkin in a sizzlin summerland

im alive!!!


Yeah thats right. every time i try to write on here. I start. realize how much Ive done since iv been here. Get overwhelmed and stop.
I know its probably not the best way to communicate back home...But hey...theres always facebook updates for anything major right?? haha.

Anyways. Ill try to attempt this again. Hopefully I wont freak out like the last 3 times.


Christmas coming up pretty quick. although it doesnt really feel like christmas at all.
I dont know if its the weather being so stinkin hot and humid that means the land has a complete lack of snow ( or anything remotly close to anything cold ) and the fact that my glasses fog up when i go OUTSIDE because the air con is so cold compared to the blistering heat. or the fact that my friends and family that i always spend christmas with aren't here.

For me christmas always started when the first snow fall came. and its finally hit me that im not going to have a white christmas this year.

But im strangely ok with that...


I dont know if im thinking that because i have next to no choice or that im excited about something different.
This whole year has been something different or an entirely new experince in itself and I dont think iv regretted any of it thus far so why start now? especially around christmas.

Its been absolutly insane these last 6 months, I mean yeah , i miss home. But i've done so many things i never dreamed of doing.

Camping in a rainforest.
swimming in multiple waterfalls,
ocean fishing, ( and actually catching something )
swimming in the ocean again...... SEEING the ocean again,
Camping on an Island and seeing Koalas. Kangaroos, Possums and Lizards of all kinds,
longboarding by the beach EVERY week,
eating kangaroo
seeing a live rugby ( football ) game
climbing a mountain to see a sunset over the ocean,
walking home in a tropical thunderstorm,
Having something i designed end up on a tshirt,
filming with a proffessional team on a main stage event on the beach,
having some of my photos used in advertising for the citys event stable on the strand,
Seeing my designs being used on promotional material
actually KNOWING how to design things.

you know...The kind of things that if you told me id be doing them. Id probably punch you for getting my hopes up. something like that.

I've met certain people in my time here that i am abundantly glad i have. and almost seems worth it to be here just for meeting them. Even though its worth it to be here for so many more reasons. and these last 6 months have been so random i cant even begin to dream of where i will end up in the next 6. Seriosly. Retarded.


Thats about all i can muster without my brain overloading.

All in all. this update is to say,
Im not dead...
and Happy christmas