Double post because quizzes are lame.

So I was cleaning out under my stairs today and besides finding a bunch of boxes full of "goosebumps" books ( which was pretty sweet ) I found some cute childhood pictures I thought Id share with you
because I can...
...and because its creepy

But anyways. Notice how innocent my brother looks....aw cute i dont think he could harm a living thing....but watch as time progresses...

Aw how sweet....

Not sure why hes holding potatoes but he looks happy

Ok....well that one was just weird....( sorry about the pixely ness. you get the idea....hes a fruit)

Look he even made the ugliest snowman ever!
Log appendages and potatoe eyes? How can you go wrong?....Scott proved there was a way

But this is where the terror starts... ( and apparantly the cruddy quality too )

Look at that beyond evil grin!

And here hes totaly going to take out 2 of my cousins....

something must be in the water....

So apparently I've been 'tagged' by Sharee. So i guess i have no choice but to participate

7 Things I would like to do before I die:
1. Fall in love
2. Get married
3. Have a family
4. Travel
5. Finish my life list
6. Find a Career that I love
7. Own a room with a view
(sorry sharee i kept a few of yours)

7 Things I can’t do (yet) :
1. Sew properly
2. Any sports...but soccer when i was a child
3. Move out
4. Go to australia tomorow
5. Snowboard
6. Have good hand eye corridination
7. Sit still

7 things that attract me to blogging:
1. Being able to see what's going on in the lives of friends
2. Its pretty dang addictive
3. Seeing other people's creativity
4. Sharing photos
5. Comments are rad
6. Everyone and there cat has a blog
7. I have nothing better to do

7 things I say most often:
1. Your a weiner
2. Right on
3. No kidding
4. "I win!"
5. Your mom
6. boo
7. your stupid
( im so encouraging )

7 books I love:
1. Red
2. Blue Like Jazz
3. White
4. the Bible
5. Black
6. Monster
7. A wrinkle in time

7 movies I watch over and over:
1. The little rascals
2. my simpsons season 3 dvd
3. My simpsons season 4 dvd
4. The Sandlot
5. Donnie Darko
6. Aladdin
7. Ferris Buhler's Day Off ( I have no choice. Its ok tv ALL the time)

7 people I want to join in too
1. Jess
2. Janelle
3. Nicole
4. Karina
5. Teri
6. Laurel
7. Brooke
8 ( because im a rebel ) anyone else who wants to... no need to be invited...go ahead...do it

Mon-diddily Randomness...i-ness

I never usually find Bizarro funny but this one made me laugh.

On to the randomness.
Just other day I was walking my dog and all of a sudden a thought came to me.
The thought was "Why"
and not a question mark, but exclamation. It's not why of what but why of every thing,
why of what we do and doing,
why of what we believe and don't believe,
why of every action and reaction, why of love, anger, jealousy, pain, hate, compassion, time, space, everything
It's again not a question but a state of wonder, a state one can not explain

Lately I cant even comprehend my thoughts. Everythings just a big traffic jam and I feel my brain just needs to be rebooted...
I dont even know how I feel or what the crap is going on
Someone save me!

But anyways the funny thing about word verification. Isn't the point of this so that spammers won't post to your blog?
Is it like impossible for them to type in the word verification?
"OOh, I was gonna leave a custom made woven basket ad on here but I have to type legullev on here first so never mind."

If you never did. You should. These things are fun. And fun is good. - Dr Suess

Jess watch out for that fi-
*smack*

Oh joy, feeling like your 6 again is really refreshing.
Me Braden and Jess were running around bradens backyard in knee deep snow tripping over who knows what and getting soaked to the bone.
But thats alright. It was fun.

Lately iv been trying to make my days as exciting as humanly possible.
Iv been keeping a "journal" kind of thing focusing only on the good/funny/exciting aspects of my day.
I just wish that I started this earlier because I hate just sitting inside and sulking about how bad my day was instead of going outside to get some fresh air, going nuts, and change my day.
With the journal, Iv found even in my bad days theres always some good that comes along with it. I just have to look harder to find it.
I think its more rewarding that way.

Today is your day. Your mountain is waiting.....

I am a Kalidescope

Ooooh Redberry retreats...How ill miss thee.
Well poo. That might be the last time ill ever get to go there. And that makes me really really sad
But alas good times was had by all.

Highlights ( probably some repeated so I apologize )

-"It was cold out, and the cop told the theif to freeze.......so he jumped into the pool and froze to death...what's with that?"
- some kids joke he made up

-Me hailey and gregs skit ( which we won something in by the way)
"bulbous bouffant...macadamia....gazebo!"

-"Dalmeny...you should have said Dalmeny...Dalmeny...Dalmeny...for your thing...Dalmeny...for your thing...Dalmeny..."-Phil

-YOOOOOOUUUUU SUUUUUCKKK!! - Brittany

-Jess's encounter with magic man

- Magic man ( hes so tricky )

- Killing jess in fooseball...haha

- Being pulled on a trailor thing behind a tractor through a feild with like 2 feet of snow.
The tractor got stuck a couple times and it was freezing...but yet it was really fun

- Taking pictures in the snow

- The random car alarm * random animal noises, yelling and honking* Scared the bejesus out of me. I thought someone was dieing

- Sleep talking
( LAHA!
" dont look at me! dont look at me!"
and kerris ramblings about monkeys)

-scrabble

Does anyone remeber another winter where it snowed this much?
Has saskatchewan ever been this beautiful?
Magnificiant sunsets, sparkling fluffy snow at night , frozen snow covered trees
So beautiful, so incredible. I hate how I take saskatchewan for granted
Nothing like a youth retreat at redberry to appreciate winter scenery

Lately, I've been thinking about You
And lately, I've been dreaming of You
And lately, I can't get You out of my head
Get You out of my head

Something about the ocean
Makes me rise up and praise
Something about the heavens
Makes me stand in awe again
Something about the sunrise
Reminds me of Your faithfulness
Something about the ocean
And I'm lost in love again

I'll sing until I sense a smile
Upon Your great and lovely face
And till I know Your glory's in this place
Your glory's in this place

Nobody is immune to love.

I know I said I wouldnt blog. Its still mostly true.
Im making exceptions for at school when im not supposed to be doing homework because this is my only source of entertainment. And besides its a way to get my thoughts out there.

Anyways, for a dialectical thinking paper I have to do for social ( woo )
Im researching time travel. I know it sounds like an "out there" topic. But I found some really intresting stuff. Im not going to explain the whole concept here because I wouldnt make you guys sit through that.
But something I found cool was:
Imagine that today you travel back in time to August 2001 and warn the authorities that the World Trade Centre in New York is going to be attacked on September 11th.
They take the necessary action and as time unfolds the disaster is eventually averted.
You are still in August 2001 at this point and the disaster has not yet been prevented, but it will be eventually because of the chain of events that you have put into motion, and you now wish to return to the time you came from.
Here comes the Big Question - can you return to where you came from?
Where you came from the attack had taken place, therefore where you came from no longer exists!
If you do return to your original time, the World Trade Centre will still be standing (because you prevented the attack), so it cannot be where you came from.
You will have changed the course of history, not just for yourself, but for the entire world.
The question is, will the World Trade Centre still be standing when you return to your starting time?


Sorry I find stuff like that extremely intruiging.

But anyways. My form is off to Australia tomorow and the redberry retreat is approaching fast. I have a feeling this is going to be a good week. but this is definatly my last redberry retreat.

I mean Grade 12 is great but it kind of sucks to be the year for "lasts"
My last semester, My last year in youth, my last year to be a kid/teenager ( basically the same thing it feels haha ) my last year living at home ( for at least 3 years anyways , who knows I could be one of "those" people who live with there parents until there fourty)

But im also looking forward for this next year to be my year of "firsts" So I guess the pros outweigh the cons this time. But I cant looks too far into the future yet. I need to calm myself and focus on the present.

Ew one last comment for the day. have you seen those new ipod headphones...
Im using them right now ( not mine ) But Im figuring at this rate people arent going to have the sense of hearing.
These headphones are buried into the back of your ears feeling like there almost to the point of touching your brain. Its clear and loud but ...Probably not good for you.

Ipods are a menace to society. But yet. There so cool!

The most unintellegent conversation in the world

So today I found myself talking about weather or not you could marry space. I figured since there are no laws in space this would be possible.
I figure Mark Reddekop in 10 years is going to marry space and thus run the universe. Just because hes weird like that.

But sorry for stealing your precious braincells with that bit of information

To the point
Lately Iv found myself aimlessly wandering through life when this is in fact the very year not to do that. Just walking about without a thought in my mind not knowing what ill be doing next minute let alone next year
Im delaying everything.
Delaying getting a job.
Delaying sending in my school application and not to mention delaying my physical so I can send in my australia form.
Basically delaying life
And I dont even care. I wish I did...But I just figure its nothing to stress over. And when I realize it is. It will be last minute or too late.
Iv always been one to not care about anything, not stress out and not worry about anything. The most easygoing person youll ever meet.
(Someone else: "steph I crashed your car"
Me:"....meh")
And yeah, I like the attitude for the most part until it comes to things that are actually important.
I think this is my way of saying I dont want to grow up. I dont want to start taking things in to my own hands.
Am I ready for it? I think so. I just need to act like it.

Frick guys I graduate in what? 4 months. And in less than a year ill be across the world for 6 months. Then off to regina for 2 years.

When did I grow up so fast?

Someone buy me a monkey

Me and Hailey took a little trip over to value village...
This is why value village owns all of you....Yeah....3 bucks for a DINOSAUR sweater??, how can you go wrong?
you cant. Thats how

And as many of you know. Casey and Cody are in nicaragua right now with YFC building a house for a disadvantaged family. But aside from the hard work they put in they get some time to have a bunch of fun.
And im extremly jealous, Look at this!

Why cant I play with a monkey?

Watch out for monkey germs!

A normal valentines day....or was it?

The answer is no.

So my day went from waking up and planning to build a snowman to letting jess take scissors to my hair.

Some of you may ask what was I thinking. Or if I was at all.
I wasn't really thinking but who cares. Its just hair.
But it actually turned out better than I thought
...Pretty short...
But better than I thought.

Im very trusting because hey. Its just hair. But sometimes I think I may be too trusting. One of these days im going to let a monkey at my hair and THEN ill be sorry

Yay for unexpected valentines day meanderings.

I think I made good use of this pointless holiday.
2 points for me.

The ultimate equation...

Driving with the windows down
+
Several cups of coffee
+
Evening walks
+
Dinner with my brother
+
Amazing weather
+
Lame little kid movies in the expensive theatre
=
A satifying day

I know your always throwing kisses from the sky

Well that sucks. my week off isnt starting to fantastic.

I go to put a downpayment on my dress today, I dont see it in the front like it normally is. So I go back to ask if they still had it
"oh some girl came in and bought it about 2 hours ago today"
"oh...."
"We might have another one in the back just a second"
*starting to get real worried*
*brings out a huge one*
" I found one. but this is the only one left and it wont fit you, the size is 16. we could alter it to fit you though"



Boo altering. Because costs a fortune.
That dress that the other girl bought fit me almost perfect :(
Crap.

Something is out to get my family this week.
My brother dropped his wallet outside a friends house last night and they took everything except his drivers license including $260, his cards, a recipt he could have claimed ( for some reason ) and his health card.
Sweeeet.

I hope the week gets better...the week is young

Is this to have in or to go?!?

Hahaha...funniest night in a long long time.
The movie Just friends = halarious
Everytime I go to Tim Hortons = even more halarious

*everyone walking into Timmys**note not everyones in the door yet*
Cashier: Is this to have in or to go!?!
Me: uh.....wh...i dont know*tries not to laugh* *runs to the back of the group and laughs out loud*
Meanwhile Brennan was trying not to be rude by laughing. but seeing me laughing he also laughs out loud
Me: She didnt even let us come all the way in! We didnt even order. Whats her problem


It was like coming into one of those crappy japanese restraunts and having the person at the front yelling at you in a panic even though the place has no one in it
HOW MANY!?
woah...uh...2? why are you yelling
COME! follow me follow me! free samples?

Iv never felt so forced to order that fast in my life

Later on:

*as were leaving*
Same cashier- Have a good morning.
Me-....Uh....you too?


Hoorah long break. Long week break.
Today all I had was English ( which was the only class I had work in)
Then social and mrs shatz decided she didnt want to make us write notes so we bummed around
Second english class we did nothing
Spare
Sitting/laying down in the sun on my second spare
Sweeeet day...


Im going into the city to go put a deposit on my grad dress tomorow. Ill try to sneak a picture or two

Have a grand week everyone

Shake it up

Im tired of living in a box

Im sick of everyone being content sitting in their perfect barbie doll packages hanging onto there perfect boyfriends while they sit on their perfect little shelves that theyve turned into their whole world. Never to come down again because God forbid that would present a risk uncertainty or unsecurity
Theyre like manniquiens with their trendy outfits, poseable arms and permanant fake smiles.

Everyones living a repeatative life, doing the same routine everyday.
We only do what they are familiar with, nothing too out of the ordinary in life in our homes in the church and even in the school, Doing only what people tell us to do.

I wish someone around here was willing to take risks, Be bold and do something diffrent. Shake things up. Make a statement of some kind.

Maybe thats going to have to start with me

I think Gods givin me a passion to do something bold and unexpected , I dont even know what it is though. ( Not by myself no, But with a group of people )
I just want some people to make a statement by doing something good in peoples lives. Maybe a whole community, maybe just one person. Maybe now, Maybe later.
Ill have to wait and see
Most of all I want people to look and think, Those people are nuts, But in a good way.

I just want to shake things up a little.

I hope life isnt a big joke, because i dont get it...

Today was terrible.
But im alright with that.

Ill just slap on a smile and paitently wait for tomorrow.

It feels like something big and exciting is going to happen.
Maybe I only feel like that because my internal clock tells me tomorow is thursday when it is in fact friday.
I love it when my head is behind.





I think the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Because, forget it little friend
- Jack Handy


If I were to kick this can... How many ants do you think will attack me?
-Me

I'll fight like hell to hide that i've givin up...

you want to bury me under a mound of shopping bags
like it'd really make a difference
or make up for your disinterest
I'm a bill you pay
I'm a contract you can't break
and it's like I'm under water
or on an endless escalator
I just go up and up but I don't ever reach the top

It's alright, Cause there's beauty in the breakdown...

Incendiary glance
Be come and collide in me
Zoom in enhance hold
While I go helplessly sky high
Magic eye sugar rushing don't stop

I must be dreaming or
We're onto something
Hey just watcha make me for
I don't fall in love lawlessly
I must be dreaming or
Pinch me to waking
So undeniably yours
As long as I'm losing it
I'm losing it
I'm losing it
I must be dreaming
I must be dreaming
I must be dreaming



Last night was funner than I expected.
Im glad I did it. Very glad.
I have now added a song to my list that the memory that goes along with it will forever be burned into my brain. And its a good feeling.

I love the ocean. I think more people should be allowed to live there.

Sundays are so boring...My brothers home and I cant do things until hes gone.
Not like we talk anyways.
I want to go toboganning.


And remeber. nothing is so shocking as to realize you are an elephant with extra legs.

Who knew Starbucks cups could be inspiring?

Be exceptional. Make tremendous efforts to be extraordinary. What a privilege to be here on the planet to contribute your unique donation to humankind. Just make sure you do so....
-- Shelby Lynne

I find this quote on almost every Starbucks cup I get....Does anyone else? Cause I feel they mass produce this one more so than the others.

Combat baby, Come back baby

Who would have thought that the monday that exams started could be so incredible relaxing...
Not me.
I had a strangly good day today. Just the day that I needed to unwind while doing something productive.
Im one of those people who hate to stay in all day. But today it was great.

I woke up at 11. Had a shower, ate lunch. Went to school for my one afternoon exam.
I then noticed how incredibly beautiful it was outside then Finished early.

Then I came home and set up my "study station" composed of tons of books and papers tossed among my stereo speakers that are lying across my bed blaring my favorite tunes.

I opend up my window and curtains. Lay down and listened to the water trickling down from my evestrough and the wind blowing through the trees outside my window. Drinking maybe one too many cups of coffee ( while studying of course)

break time. ( not a coffee related break )

I go to burn a cd and in the midst of doing that. I discoverd a new band. Hoorah ( The new pornographers = great )

I come back to my room and put on my new favorite cd. Almost fall asleep while reading the stone angel. ( which isnt that unusal )
And now im here. Blogging

Who knows what the evening will bring but im thinking it cant be much worse. Ill probaby go for a walk around town. Well see.



EDIT:
i found this quiz in my inbox. And i remeberd how fun it was. So im doing it again

TEN Random Things About Me:
10. I am allergic to everything I touch
9. Im addicted to coffee.
8. I played a guy in the musical OKLAHOMA!
7. I watch simpsons everyday
6. I love the color green
5. I put quarters in peoples parking meters
4. Metric is my favourite band
3. I love travelling
2. I always weat rings
1. I can almost never say no

NINE Places I want to visit:
9. New York
8. Toronto
7. Vancouver
6. London, England
5. Paris, France
4. Greece
3. Australia
2. New Zealand
1. Italy

EIGHT Things I want to do before I die:
8. Run my own buisness
7. Base jump
6. Not have any regrets
5. Love someone
4. Be LOVED by someone
3. Own a digital SLR
2. Learn to read
1. Live long enough to see bell bottom pants come back for a third time

SEVEN Ways to win my heart:
7. Don't let me believe my own b.s.
6. Take an interest in my crappy music
5. Not only tolerate me being a goof but be a goof with me
4. Laugh at my lame jokes
3. ...Gifts are always nice
2. Be yourself
1. Like me for who I am

SIX Things I believe In:
6. The people around me
5. That the Conservatives will rule this Country like kings until long after I'm dead
4. Laughter is the best medicine
3. I wont die by getting eaten by a shark
2. George Bush is a Nazi
1. Jesus, God and the devil

FIVE Things I'm afraid of:
5. The dark
4. Tractors
3. Getting hurt
2. Clowns
1. Manequins

FOUR of my Favorite Items in my bedroom:
4. My stereo
3. My guitar
2. My cds
1. My pictures

THREE Things I do everyday:
3. Eat
2. Sleep
1. Laugh

TWO Things I am trying not to do right now:
2. Study
1. Get distracted by the TV

ONE person I want to see right now:
1. Thats for me to know..and you to eventually find out

"If I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life, remind me to kill myself"

The sunrise or the sunset, hold your sadness like a puppet
Keep putting on the play
But everything you do is leading to the point
Where you just won’t know what to do
And the moment that you're laughing
There is someone there who will be laughing louder than you
So it’s true, the trick is complete
You've become everything you said you never would be
You’re a fool, you're a fool

I've grown tired of holding this pose
I feel more like a stranger each time I come home
So I'm making a deal with the devils of faith
Saying, let me walk away, please

We must blend into the choir, sing a static with the whole
We must memorize nine numbers and deny we have a soul
And to this endless race for property and privilege to be won
We must run, we must run, we must run

Time take us forward.
Relief from this longing.
They can land that plane on my heart;
I don’t care.

Oh good ol conor oberst. He speaks the words of my very unpoetic mind.

Newfound zest for life.

I am excited for life

I was thinking alot today and venting to some people who can relate to me in so many ways. About how all I want is a change. Im so sick of the same thing.
Im not content with life at the moment.
Im not content with school or friends. ( I love my friends dont get me wrong, theres just something thats missing. Maybe its them? )
Im not content with the lack of change.
I need change, But the people around me refuse to change with me.

There content, and im stuck in a rut.
Do I leave them all behind? Do I drag them kicking and screaming with me into my next stage of life?
Neither.
Im moving on. But I'll still keep in touch. If we go out seperate ways, Well. So be it. But its time for a change.

At the end of this year is going to be the biggest change of my life. I dont know who im still going to know after this year. And that scares me.
God has placed my heart across the world. Across the world in a city called Townsville ( ha ha I know ) Australia to do DTS with YWAM. And I have to go there to reunite with it before im complete again, and thats so exciting for me.

After I get back from Australia I am applying for a course in Regina at SIAST for 2 years. Applied Photography.
Everythings ready to be sent away for both applications except for a doctors report. Then its final
No turning back.

And thats exhilerating. Im so freaking excited.
Ill be sad to see my class/school/camp mates go. Those who I dont keep in touch with. But in a year, Im moving on to my next stage of life and theres no holding back now.

Dont you worry my faithful true friends. Ill keep in contact with you the whole time. Im mainly talking about my friends who I only talk to in school and see when we are in a group of friends.
Im not leaving you guys, my best buds behind. You are too important to me to leave behind.
You know who you are.


T minus 159 days until grad
Then T minus 361 days until my life takes flight.


If only it would come sooner....

"there stands a broken man" " Its playground everywhere but in his heart"

Once again im going to poison you with my terrible attempts at poetry from a long time ago. followed by some song lyrics that reflect my life at the moment. As with every other post in the blogging world.
Maybe ill post something worthwile for you guys to read later. Something you might understand more. But for the time being this is the only way I know how.
cheers
from someone trying not to come off as an emo girl.

Nowheresville

I come home to a house
Filled with empty thoughts
Cold dreams
I want out
I need out
But I can’t
For I have no where to go

I strive to see reality
Outside of this one horse town
I’m not going anywhere but here
Iirrational wishes to leave
Greetings,
From Nowheresville

I’m trapped in a glass box
Filled with lies in my own little world
Of fantasies and dreams
Here I can’t have any of that
Unless I leave to where you are

Alternate dimensions
I missed my last stop
Nowheresville trapped me inside that box

Im stuck in this Nowheresville town
Theres no other place I can be
are you watching from up high down here in this place
i'm trapped, so can you free me?



and finally the song lyrics. ( im sure every last person in highschool can relate to these )

Goodbye, goodbye
To all the fake people in my life
I never wanted you around me
So be on your way now
You better think twice
Before you let people in your life
Because when you put down
No one is around you
You got a case of the fake people
A case of the fake people

Whos left to save the heros?

Heartbound and angry
Silent yet screaming
Somewhere out there is the paradise im dreaming

These unspoken words
Say goodbye to summers things
Im finding its hard to find beauty in simple things

Dandilions in the winter
Snowflakes in the spring
Forever deemed to be an ugly thing



Where did that come from? I...Dont know.
I guess its how im feeling lately. In a sense.
Interpret it how you'd like. Its for you to decide

So...Today was fun.

Negative.
I woke up this morning and I tried to roll over. It was then I realized that if I moved my neck the smallest bit it would send a lightning bolt of pain everywhere and I felt like my head was going to pop off.
But, of course. I sucked it up and went for half of first class.
Halfway through I came to my senses and realized I couldn't last the whole day not being able to move my neck. if I did that equalled excruciating pain. For real.
So I come home. Sit on the couch all day watching bloody tv with a heat/cold beanbag around my neck contstantly having to get up for phone calls and to re-cold/heat my beanbag which wasnt fun because that hurt alot.
But im better now. Well ever since 1'ish and I would have gone back to school if I had classes in the afternoon. But alas I did not.
And as a result of that my dad says that I cant go to youth because I didnt go to my two classes today....can you say sweet?...and rip off.
I know I can
Thus concludes the best day ever.

When the rain comes

When the rain comes it seems that everyone has
gone away
When the night falls you wonder if you shouldn't
find someplace
To run and hide / Escape the pain
But hiding's such a lonely thing to do

I can't stop the rain / From falling down on you again
I can't stop the rain / But I will hold you 'til it goes away

When the rain comes you blame it on the things that
you have done
When the storm fades you know that rain must fall
on everyone
Rest awhile / it'll be alright
No one loves you like I do

When the rain comes / I will hold you

I was at Jared and Cherises wedding today and Colin and Kelly sang this song by Third day.
Wow.
It didnt even just hit me in a husband wife kind of deal. But even more so, it hit me as this is Gods song to me. ( well not just me of course. But it spoke to me that way )
Incredible.
Im put in this certain situation for a reason.
There are going to be trials through it. Thats not a maybe. Thats inevitable.
But the great thing is that Gods not gonna make me do it on my own.
Hes standing with me in the rain the whole time just so He can protect me from what had to happen in order for me to grow.

This should have been known to me a long...long time ago. And it was. Its just easy to forget you know?
Its easy to forget im not alone. Its easy to forget no one loves me like He does.
Its just easy to forget.
And He gave me that simple reminder that I needed.
Im not alone

Something isnt right here...

Its the new year. And something just doesnt feel right.
I dont know what the heck is wrong with me! Everything seems so weird lately.
I'd LIKE to blame it on everybody else changing. But I know that the problem is me.
Its one of those feelings where you cant explain it. And if I tried everyone would think I was a lunatic.
Iv been neglecting everything that makes me happy.
All but one thing and I dont even do it out of joy anymore hardly...My creativity is gone, and I dont know where it went or if ill ever get it back.
Im just getting sick of doing the same old things, knowing the same old people, seeing the same old things, and dealing with the same old problems that dont seem like they matter anymore
Dont get me wrong. I love my friends but I dont know. I thirst for more.
Maybe all I need to do to get my creativity back is to break out of this monotonus cycle.
Im bored. I need something fresh and new. Something I havent done or seen.
Its hard to find that kind of thing when your stuck in a hole with the glorious name of "Dalmeny"

I want to break free, Iv got to break free

Photo Bloggin' it up!

I now have a photoblog...sooo...go take a look

www.beautythroughtheviewfinder.blogspot.com

MY LIFE LIST
Still a work in progress
Ones with an X i have already done

1.Travel to another city to see a band
2.Go to an opera
3.Crowd surf
4.Photograph Niagra falls
5.Photograph the Barriar Reef
6.Have my portrait painted
7.Run up the art museum steps like in the movie rocky (X)
8.Swim with a dolphin
9.Own a room with a view
10.Learn how to take a compliment
11.Read the Bible from one end to the other
12.Receive a dozen roses
13.Send a message in a bottle
14.Plant a tree(X)
15.Fall deeply in love
16.Stand under a tropical waterfall
17.Get a first kiss
18.Go snorkeling
19.Get married
20.Go to Australia
21.See a kangaroo in the wild
22.Hold a big snake
23.Make the first move
24.Be the photographer for someones wedding
25.Yell something from a rooftop
26.Own a lava lamp (X)
27.Stay up for 2 nights without any sleep
28.Eat a whole bag of oreos
29.Meet someone I admire
30.Go on a real safari
31.Sleep under the stars (X)
32.Find a job I love
33.Go deep sea fishing and eat my catch.
34. Pick up a piece of road kill with a stick and chase a child with it.
35.Dive with sharks
36.Go fishing for sharks
37.Give blood
38.Ride in a hot air balloon
39.Storm chase
40.Get a tattoo
41.Visit a pyramid
42.Sleep a night in a snow fort I built
43.Do missions work on another continent
44.Witness an obvious physical miracle of God
45.Visit an asylum
46.Adopt an accent for an entire day
47.Steal a sign
48.Climb a tall tree all the way to the top(X)
49.Buy a personalized license plate
50.Pay for the person behind me at a fast food drive through window.
51.Learn to say the alphabet backwards really really fast
52.Learn to drive a standard
53.Perform 5 random, anonymous acts of kindness in a single day.
54.Have someone say I love you, and mean it.
55.Hold a boys hand
56.Yell as loud as I can (X)

So often I wonder...

So often I wonder
Do you still think of me,
As often as I think about you?
My heart yearns for this to be true
But my mind deems it impossible
For if it were truth,
There would be no reason so wonder
Because you would be here with me.

This isnt really a poem. Kind of just...my thoughts put down in a structured format.
Im not good at poetry.

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Everyone

Have a Merry christmas everyone!!

For your christmas present. Here is a picture of me and my date at the christmas banquet!

She just wanders around, unaffected by,
the winter winds air, she'll pretend that
She's somewhere else, so far and clear
about two thousand miles, from here

Just....do what you want to do

So these last couple nights I have had some really good talks and have come out with some of the most useful advice ever

1. Stop looking. But don't close your eyes (pretaining to boys here haha )
2. Just do what you love. Presue your passion no matter what other people say
3. Remind yourself of the things about you that make you feel good.

Ok. So im an insecure person. Ok...Very insecure. And I hide the things that I think I can do or make me feel good about myself.
Because I feel if I reveal that thing I love about myself, Other people will shut me down and I feel I will be worth nothing to anyone. I have nothing going for me. So I hide it away where people cant see it.
If I point out something I like about my appearance. Im afraid people will disagree and say otherwise. Im afraid im not good enough.
Im afraid to admit who I like because .Ew...there not good enough. They have flaws other people dont like.
Even my talents and abilities are saved to show those whom I trust. To those whom I know wont discourage me about it.
For example.I have a hard time telling people what I want to do after school. Because I dont feel that its good enough for some people. People will tell me
" oh you wont make much money"
" You actually think you could make a living off of that?"
" thats a stupid idea"
Im afriad that will stop me from doing what I love. So I hide it.
God gave me a passion . Maybe I should start showing it more. Who cares if people dont approve. I dont want to be stuck in a dead end job that I hate going to everyday. I want to do something I want to do.
If its good enough for me thats all that matters. I shouldnt place peoples opinions in high regard and change who I am just to please them.


Its hard breaking out of a shell you've been incased in your whole life . I dont know how well this is going to end up.

Be here now

Yes...this is my second post of the night thanks for asking....

Intellectual conversations spark intellectual thoughts...

"I often encounter signs that said "You are here."
You know what - evey one of those signs was right! I'm always here. I can't go anywhere but here.
If I think I'll leave here and go there, when I get there, here I am here again.
You know...always being Now since, Time, as we know it, is only an illusion. We usually think of time as having three parts Past, Present, Future. But what is the Past - only a collection of memories. We can't experience the Past, we can only remember it. And we can only remember it in the Present. There is no objective thing that we call the Past. it can't be measured in any way. our only contact with it is in the Present.
And what is the Future - only a mental construct in the Present. We can't experience the Future until it "becomes" the Present. Until then it only a hope and dream.
That leaves us with only the Present - the ever changing Present. Time is an illusion we created to try and measure the rate of change of the Present. It's always NOW. But it's an ever changing NOW. In a effort to cope with the change, we have invented time. .
To be totally in harmony with this truth, you'd need to wear a watch that always said "now". But you'd be late for a lot of things...
So anyways. always being NOW and always being Here, "Be Here Now" isn't just good advice, it's the only possibility."

HOO-JAH!

Im done at the Barn Playhouse!!!! for probably forever!!! paycheck ho!
im so happy i could just...just *hugs everyone*
I still am working at CFCR fm though. But thats alright because I get to listen to whatever I want whenever I want. And the people there are just funny...And no creepy old men hitting on me. As there usually are at every other job iv had. except Kota Graphics...But that doesnt say much...
I dont think my back and legs and arms could get any more sore than right now.

Now to start the christmas shopping on wensday. I think I already know what im getting from my brother and im EXCITED!

But for real. Iv had nothing to say lately.
OH! I need your guy's professional opinion. Which hoodie do you like better?

Or.....

The close up on the green things is

If its pictures you want. Its pictures youll get

So this is the result of me and carries outing. I may post more..I may not, I have to go watch simpsons now...

Everythings coming up dead roses...

Since blog changing is "in"...I guess.... I decided to go oldschool. If anyone was around during the days of my 2003 blog. Heres a blast from the past! Enjoy!

Now...Onto my regular blogging buisness...

Holy crap! where did all this snow come from?? I woke up and BAM! its like the snow woke up from hibernation and exploded everywhere making it difficult to travel.
Snow is sweet for looking at ...and playing in...and building things... and chasing... and tunneling.... and taking pictures... and eating probably . But NOT for driving let me tell you. Im going to go out tomorow after school and take some "artsy" pictures so you better be prepared to get....artsy..d

Christmas shopping! Iv never been this stressed about it in my life. I dont know what ANYONE wants. AHH! And i cant go until like the 20th!

Save me santa!!!!

When will my words ever be seen as more than words coming from his little sister?
Maybe my words arent ment to mean much. Maybe thats not my job in helping him. I think that job is saved for someone he will actually listen to.
Sure one of his friends says " You dont have to worry. He is such a strong person"
But hes going to give me ulcers I swear.

15 days until christmas! ACK! I havent even STARTED christmas shopping yet. And I wont get to until I get my paycheck after the 18th. Woo hoo.

So my house is almost all decked out, Here is the progress. Me and Jess decorated the tree today
( its not as nice as janelles. But its definatly more random ) And yes. I know. Theres no angel....yet. If you squint you can see the little ornamant angel I put on top for the time being. Or maybe it got cut off... I dont know.

Haha. Jess. You can see Scotts chest hair santa RIGHT on the front

Heres my moms little village. Apparantly with a Santa as a shepard of the people

And my favorite...Hee hee

Why is all the snow melting???


Awww peanuts. Comon! I want snow for christmas. I hate mother nature. Its raining on the 9th of DECEMBER ( happy janelle? haha ). We live in Saskatchewan....Not BC

Anyways so Phantom of the Opr'y is over. Thank the Good Lord.
Although it was fun. The practices weren't, but the preformance was. Alot of people said they liked it better than Oklahoma! So I guess thats alright. I totaly expected it to bomb but hey!

Heres a picture of me and Braden...We are homies.

Oh. and for your veiwing pleasure...An MS Paint picture

Jesus Im Ready to Come Home...

Alright. I dont even know where to start. I apologize in advance. This....probably wont make sense. and WILL be long. I commend anyone who sits through this.

Alright so for no reason. Im sitting here. And something huge hits me. Why? I have no freakin idea. Why now? I dont know. God has the weirdest timing.

So I just got in from drama, I take a shower and sit down and BAM! It turns out im shutting out the most important thing in my life and I didnt even realize it. I dont even know HOW i realized it is the weird thing.
Just a thought popped into my head like..its been there all along. But I just chose to ignore it you know? Kind of like a gentle nudge when everyone and everything around you is shoving you and pushing you down.
The thing iv shut out as you may have guessed is Jesus. But...I didnt realize it.
Im going about my day. Oh yah im living for Jesus by example. Im going to accept people for who they are and not care what they do. Heck i wont even say anything about it because that might make them mad. I wont speak up when someone says something I dont agree with. Because they might get mad. Ill just totally hide that im a christian... Because hey...they might get mad.
Here im thinking im living for Jesus when im using the excuse of " do not judge unless ye be judged" to do things and say things I normally wouldnt.
I mean. Accepting people for who they are is one thing. Letting them voice there opinions is one thing. But to totaly deny my beliefs and who I am just TO accept them, or let them voice there opinions and let them smash everything I belive and not say anything about it. I dont know HOW the thought of that was going to show Jesus to them crossed my mind.
Dont get me wrong. I said what I thought if someone asked. But I would NEVER bring it up unless i was asked. And even if i did. It would be a very vauge answer, one I think would be appealing to them.
I guess the thought of " im going to show them how not sterotypical christians can be. Im not gonna go pastor on anyone. Just to show them, just to break free of this label"
I took this too far. Im totaly pulling the "christian mask " I mean im all for accepting people. Im not gonna become a "shun the gays and hethans" kind of christian. But I mean. How am I going to show Christ to others if im not even following him myself.
Frick I havent even touched my bible since....well...september...Yeah...Im that good. And im only praying when I need things. Im so freaking selfish.
Iv used the excuse of being busy to not keep up my relationship with God. *gets in bed *Oh. Yeah I uh...Gotta work tomorow so uh...Yeah I have no time for you. OH yah yah...Ill get up early. You know read my bible...and stuff. But yah im too bu..*falls asleep*
morning comes. *buzzer* *bah...snooze....bah...slept in late cause snooze doesnt work*
Oh yah..Uh. gotta get to school. Sorry God gotta call it off again.
repeat..repeat...repeat.
I need to get my freaking act together. Im saying I want to go on missions and stuff. I have to pull myself together before I even consider filling out the application. Im a mess right now and im not doing anything until I pick myself up.
I know I cant do it alone and that was my problem all along. I need to let Jesus back into my life. Maybe then things will start to get better.
Sad it took me this long to figure out too...man I lose at this game

But I guess everythings become more real to me, I know where people are coming from and why they are they way they are.
I have no regrets.
Iv got to know some amazing people and some things I never would have found out if this never happend. I feel I have an advantage now over other people because I KNOW what people are going through. Now its just time to take a little bit of action...

I guess to start I can wipe the layers of dust off my bible and pick myself up where I left off.
Until next time...

Oh how wrong we were to think immortality ment never dying...

So tonight I went to the My Chemical Romance concert featuring Thrice and Circa Survive ( if no ones heard them I suggest you give them a listen. they are diffrent. Kind of like Mars Volta )

But...ill write about it tomorow because im tired.
Heres some pictures though. ( the only ones that turned out half decent anyways, My camera kept dying cause it had hardly any batteries left)

Take it yo.

Take'>http://www.quizyourfriends.com/takequiz.php?quizname=051204234112-437992">Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

Representin'

Boo yah.Thats totaly my uniform, or whatever you want to call it.
It turns out work is not as bad as i thought. Sure my ankles are about to break but its kind of fun. Everyone there is my age anf the girl i work with upstairs is really fun.
plus. its decorated all christmasy!
speaking of christmasy.My mom decorated my house and its snowing a bunch more. you can almost not see the grass.
Iv been in more of a christmas spirit this year than other years. And theres less snow. Strange.

Merry merry christmas everyone. Have a splendid week.

Ohh! everyone come out to phantom of the opry on wensday and thursday! itll be good I promise.
ill get a picture of me in my costume soon. And boy...is it hot.
( if you consider gaudy necklaces and a black fur coat hot )

EDIT:

Oh yah. Caitlin and Nathan M. I hope this makes up for my spam-making-fun-of attitude around christmas! enjoy!

I just want to go lie in a pit of poisonous cobras....

so. Tomorow marks the first day of the most busy month of my life. hoojah

I work at the barn playhouse for 12 days in a row. and during that time i also have my sweep( work ed ) work placement job..thing. not to mention school, junior youth. and christmas
woo!

Funny thing. I wokeup at 8 45 this morning. jumped out of bed put in my contacts and booked out the door
and at least 4 people commented me on my hair today....wow... i should do this more often haha

And its offically december 1st so MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!
Although...theres not much snow on the ground. There better be soon...or else
*shakes fist into the sky*

I have the hottest friends on the face of this planet. I swear

Its my dog! ( for real this time, haha )

I got a nice new camera for my birthday. So I remeberd that i promised real pictures of my dog. and here they are!

*que girl chorus *
Awwwwwh! isnt he cute!

I also got donnie darko ( woot )
2 starbucks cards
My chemical romance ticket
Halarious socks filled with chocolate
and a bunch of cards.

thus concludes...best birthday EVER!
hoorah for being 17

Wanderer's Guild...

Last night I had a really odd dream, that I never thought Id have.
I was sitting on my driveway doing drugs of some kind. Out in the open and I was so afraid people were going to see me.
They looked like they were pixie sticks or something. And I took alot.
I remeber getting really sick and my brother found out. He said he was going to tell my parents. But all I said is " scott I know what you do "
Then he started crying. All I wanted to do was hug him. But since iv never hugged my brother in dream or reallife land. All I could do was watch him.
And I asked him what it was like.

But anyways. haha. I dont know what THAT means . On a diffrent note.

Its crazy the things you find out about some people if you just listen to them.
Iv found out so many things id never thought id hear by hanging out with people who arent "christian" per say. Iv kind have broken the seal on my "magical la la land bubble" that so many of us dalminites live in.

But lately the most acceptance iv found is in the "non christian" group of people. They are the ones being the nicest to me while the "christians" talk about me behind my back. ( dont get me wrong. Im not saying I dont . Because then Id lie. and that makes me sad...and something im trying to change.)
But iv found the nicest people iv met dont go to youth or church. I find theyre more real. and have alot more to say about life.

Im sure your all thinking. Holy crap Steph is gonna go through her rebellion stage and start doing drugs.
But no. Im not. Iv seen what drugs do to people.
Im just sick and tired of christians thinking that non christians deserve to be judged like that. If there seen on the street on the weekend were all thinking " oh HES hammerd.."" I bet HES stoned"
Iv really come to appreciate those who dont come to youth. I love them to bits. They are some of the nicest. Most accepting. Real people iv met, I just wish everyone else would see that too
( and im not saying all christians do this either. I just have a select few in mind that im sick of their attitiude on this subject so im sorry if you took offence to it.)

Sorry if this made no sense whatsoever I just had to get it out.

I'm dreaming less and sleeping more, but I'll sell my soul for the dream you stole

Is this week going painfully slow for anyone else??

Life is waiting for you...

life is to...
sing, dance, laugh, cry, smile, hope, hurt, scribble, dream, declare, pray, learn, forget, win, stand,lose, fall,
to hold on tight and never ever let go.

If you don't fill this out...i will rock you.

WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF:
1. I died from natural causes:
2. I kissed you:
3. I lived next door to you:
4. I started smoking:
5. I stole something:
6. I was hospitalized:
7. I ran away from home:
8. I got into a fight and you weren't there?

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY:
9. Personality:
10. Eyes:
11. Hair:
12. Family:

WOULD YOU:
13. Be my friend?:
14. Keep a secret if I told you one?:
15. Hold my hand?
16. Take a bullet for me?
17. Keep in touch?:
18. Try and solve my problems?:
19. Love me?:
20. Date me?:

HAVE YOU EVER:
21. Lied to make me feel better?:
22. Wanted to kiss me?:
23. Wanted to kill me?:
24. Broke my heart?:
25. Kept something important from me?:
26. Thought I was unbearably annoying?

::And More::
27. Who are you?
28. Are we friends?
29. When and how did we meet?
30. Describe me in one word:
31. What was your first impression?
32. Do you still think that way about me now?
33. What reminds you of me?
34. If you could give me anything what would it be?
35. How well do you know me?
36. When's the last time you saw me?
37. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
38. Are you gonna put this on yours to see what I say about you?

Cosmetics are too strong for your pretty face...

[This picture eventually applys. I swear]

So I just got back from the Bella concert ( Woo hoo Dalmeny fame ) And it was incredible. They are so good live and are just a bunch of goofs. I love it when bands have fun instead of totaly looking like they dont belive in the concept of fun. haha.

Honestly though. It was so surreal at the start.
Let me set the mood for those of you who havent been to the bassment
So we walk in this really skinny staircase. Into a Unusually dark room ( well to me anyways. Never really been to a "bar/music club" before )
And theres people sitting around. We go sit at a table in the corner near the bar and I look over the area
I see some normal looking kids, You know. Normal clothes..normal...youthfull age.
Upon scanning over the crowd. I stop at a man whos standing by the bar. By himself. Hes in a tux. Hes older, and hes holding a martini. Im thinking. What in the world?
Then. If he couldnt possibly look stranger. The band that was playing before Bella. Called him up and , Yup. Auctioned him off " for one night "
After a bit of coaxing and guilting the crowd the band got the ladies up to 5 dollars. Yep. A guy who looks like hes worth $800 ( not in looks wise but dress and,...martini wise) Goes for 5 dollars.
All I could do but laugh. And pinch myself because I thought I was dreaming. and there were no light switches around to flick on and off ( If you dont know what I mean by that. Ask me? )

Oh to make the situation more surreal. Yeah. Josh Palmer was sitting behind us. By himself. Looking depressed. So....that was cool/weird I guess.

Oh But the tunes were great. The band first was called....uuuh.....C...something ( someone help me out ) And they were decent, They were like a 7 peice indie band kind of thing.
They had the whole violin, harp, trombone, trumpet, piano, drums, guitar, ( hahahaha does anyone remember that guy who came to sell magazines at our school..."who wants the stuie doll" He was DEFINATLY the drummer which also adds to the surreal...ity)
I loved the music and the lyrics. they were so random. but I wasnt crazy over the guys voice. Although it did remind me of bright eyes
The cool thing was is the violin player ( also he was dressed in like 80s workout clothing) played his violion like a guitar at one point and plugged it in to the...( im risking looking like an idiot here) Distortion? thing. Sorry I dont know what its called. But it sounded sweet

Bella was TONS of fun. There music just makes you want to get up and dance no matter how mennonite you think you are. ( No im not mennonite. im just making a point )
Cam is such a nut it was halarious watching that guy. Pretty much my favorite. And then they all started doing a robot...type thing. Which i thought was pretty sweet if i do say so myself.
They got everyone standing up and dancing dispite Kerris moms attempts to sit everyone down because she couldnt see.
So good job guys. Although I doubt anyone from Bella reads this. Haha.

Bloodless...

Some things are better left unsaid. Sometimes I just dont want to know because It breaks my heart to know I have no effect on what he does. Nothing can be done thats right in my mind.
I guess all thats left to do is pray.

[ I wouldn't mind some of you to pray for this as well. Actually, Id really appreciate it.
I know none of you know what im talking about and im not about to post it bluntly on my blog for the whole world to see. So I dunno. Thanks in advance for the blind prayer I guess? Sorry if this whole thing made no sense. ]

Cellar Door...

Ugh this is one of those times where I feel like I should be saying something profound. But nothings coming out.
Oh well. Ill just bore you again with my crazy antics....

I just watched the breakfast club. One of my favorite movies
It has a scene that is on my top 10 list of favorite movie scenes. Where they are dancing around at the end. You know...If youve seen it im sure you know what im talking about.

Which reminds me. Since its quarter to 2 and im not tired at all. Im going to bore you with my top 10 movie scenes ( in no praticular order )

1. The Breakfast Club - When there dancing around. As I explained before.
2. Waynes World - Where there driving around in the car listening to bohemian rapsody
3. Donnie Darko - Where hes talking to Frank in the movie theatre ( also that scene contains one of my favorite movie lines which is ( Donnie : Why are you wearing that stupid rabbit suit?
Frank: Why are you wearing that stupid man suit? )
4. Monty Python Search For The Holy Grail - tim the enchanter
5. Grease - the ending song"we go together" Except that they fly away in a car. Thats dumb
6. Phantom of the Opera - The mirror scene. Where he takes her into his lair with the 80s music in the background haha
7. The Wizard of Oz - The lady pedaling on the bicycle outside Dorothys bedroom window as the house is caught in the center of the tornado
8. Edward Scissor Hands - The very end scene when she explains how she knows hes still alive or when she dances in the snow from his ice sculptures
9. Donnie Darko - When hes in the psyciatrists office when he sees Frank
10. Almost famous - When they are on the bus singing hold me closer tiny dancer


Well there you have it. Boring enough for you? I hope so.

Waiting for the past...

I hate seeing people after not seeing them for like a year. Someone youve got to know over a certain period of time and you once considerd them a close friend.
its like every little conversation and everything that you have done together has just come undone. all that time of knowing each other has dissappeard.
Thats why I hate not keeping in touch with people I really got to know or enjoyed during the summer. I always say im going to keep in touch. You know. Go for coffee. And plans always fall through.
You know. I try maybe once or twice but after that I completly give up. And it sucks.
Everyone whos reading this from camp or ...anywhere where that I cant keep in touch. Lets keep it up?
I dont want to have another one of those awkward experinces passing you by in a mall and not being sure that you recognize or even know me anymore. Iv had it happen one to many times and its kind of depressing.

Anyways...dun dun dun dun!! heres a boys rant. woo hoo! so if you dont feel like listening to me whine. I suggest you close this box. HA!

I have pretty much decided to give up on guys yet again. It's just not worth getting all excited about. I go to school and I am surrounded by attractive (and not so attractive males) and none of them show a smidgen of interest in me.
I only know a few superficially, and there's no reason to drool over guys that aren't into me or share my beliefs.
I've always been honest when the subject comes up: i'm waiting for a guy to pursue me. People act like i'm crazy when i admit that (that i want the guy to make the first move). They act like, "How can you honestly expect a guy to have the guts to make the first move?!?"
People ALWAYS try to convince EVERYONE that you dont need to date in highschool but why are we supposed to be independent, not need anyone, and act as if we're perfect? I'm not perfect, i hate being independent, and i do need someone. I need God, but i also feel incomplete being single, even when He's overflowing my heart with love and joy. Why should i be ashamed to admit that?
When God created Adam and all the animals He saw that Adam was alone and lonely, that there was no companion suitable for him, and so He made one (Genesis 2:18-24)! And so if God did that for Adam and Eve i believe that i am designed to perfect one man's life just as he is designed to perfect mine. God made us for each other.
Anyways, i'm just so sick of thinking about it all the time. Every time i meet a guy i think: "Could he be the one?" And of course he's not. He's not interested. He's attractive, he's nice, but he's not him.
They always say that you'll find him when you stop looking for him (who in the world is "they" anyway? it drives me wild how they always feel that they're an authority about my life) you'll find him. So i gave up on guys. I didn't find one (i thought i might have, but we never got past the crush stage: he didn't want to be friends even, apparently).
I slowly started looking again as i got more and more lonely, more and more desperate. I still haven't found him and now i'm a whiney damsel in distress. I don't want that. I don't want to be imagining up situations where prince charming comes and rescues me--because quite honestly i don't know that i'd want him rescuing me even if he did come--but i'm slowly coming to terms with the fact that maybe that's exactly who God designed me to be (the damsel in distress).
As much as i hate to admit it, i want to be rescued, too. Not that i want my husband to replace God in my life, but i just don't feel complete being single, either.
Now i know that a lot of people are saying to themselves right now: "You don't need or want a guy, you don't know how lucky you are," and, "See the world while you still can," etc.
F rankly i don't want to see the world alone. Sure, i want to go on the Amazing Race but have no one to do it with. I want to travel around the world, but not alone. ... i just want to at least find a guy to give me my first kiss.
That's not life... it's holding my breath and waiting for life to begin. I'm sick of it. I don't want to find some random guy and date him, but i'm tired of crushes not getting past eye tag and long conversations where we click but nothing happens.
I've never even been asked out on a date. I'm so tired of waiting. I know i'm weak, i know i should have more patience, because yeah. I am only 17. But with all the dating mumbo jumbo going on around me. every corner I turn makes me want to be in that position...just once.
But it never happens.
It's in God's hands and He'll have it timed out all sweet and perfect. But im the most impatient person ever so its gonna be hard but i will wait for God to send ....someone
Ill just have to suck it up and wait some more I guess.

Oh no! hes locked the gate from the other side! we have to go around the other way!

My weekends actually turning around. For one thing. I dont care about the below post. Im done caring. And my day went really well starting last night.

Me and my dad watched hitchikers guide to the galaxy last night. Two words for you. SO FUNNY!
Thats exactly my kind of movie. So random
The following was one of my favorite quotes, although, it is long. so im sorry

The Book: It is important to note that suddenly, and against all probability, a Sperm Whale had been called into existence, several miles above the surface of an alien planet. Since this isn't a naturally terrible position for a whale, this innocent creature had very little time to come to terms with its identity. This is what it thought, as it fell;
The Whale: Ahhh! Woooh! What's happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I?
Okay okay, calm down calm down get a grip now. Ooh, this is an interesting sensation. What is it? Its a sort of tingling in my... well I suppose I better start finding names for things. Lets call it a... tail! Yeah! Tail! And hey, what's this roaring sound, whooshing past what I'm suddenly gonna call my head? Wind! Is that a good name? It'll do. Yeah, this is really exciting. I'm dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There's an awful lot of that now isn't it? And what's this thing coming toward me very fast? So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Ow', 'Ownge', 'Round', 'Ground'! That's it! Ground! Ha! I wonder if it'll be friends with me? Hello Ground!
[Hits ground and dies ]

My favorite character though was definatly the manic depressed robot Marvin

Is that not the most depressing robot youve ever seen?

Haha...Oh man. I know a bunch of people didnt like it but i loved it.



But on with my day today me and my dad went into the city looking for cameras for me on my birthday ( woo hoo 22 days away! ) And I found the PERFECT camera that im going to get. for cheap too! so im pretty pumped.

Also we stopped at starbucks and as I was waiting they forgot to make my order so I had to wait a while.
Most people would think this was a bad thing. but as a result I got a free coffee cupon! woot!

And the fall supper is tonight. hoo-jah

How does it feel to be on the reciving end?


Dont you hate it when your day is going really well. but then that one thing happens that just smashes your whole weekend apart?

usually Id "look on the bright side of things" But really. Iv had enough of this

Iv tried fixing and putting this back together so many times its no longer possible.
So broken it cant be fixed.
....And they dont even know it...

Regarding Janelles...fun game...thing


1. Go to www.m-w.com.
2. In the dictionary, search your name.
3. Note the most creative word that is closest to your name.
4. Go to www.google.com/images.
5. Search the word that you found.
6. Post the most random picture you found from the first page.

Mine was "Stoph". I googled it and my resulting picture is:

Wanna hear a funny story? Well ok. Its not really a story...And its not that funny

I woke up to my mom singing christmas songs because it snowed last night...That was...Pleasant, haha.
I love snow. Well the first snow anyways. It loses its novelty after christmas.
I had a cruddy start to my day today. But my days been good because I got to walk to school in the snow and that means I can soon start making snow angels. Go christmas caroling. push others into the snow. and the most exciting part is i can now start listening to christmas carols as soon as I get home. woo
Oh I know. Snow is going to get old very quickly. But im enjoying it until it gets to that point.

There are a few questions I don’t have answers to, none of them are really important, but I’m interested in the answers anyway.
Why, for instance, don’t many people use pocket watches, cups with the mustache guards, or those handy little walking sticks?
I guess they could be seen as weapons, ok scratch the last one.
But honestly, why do dogs find a portion of flooring and decide to lick it? I’ve seen many a dog do this and I thought, “What could be so tasteful on that specific part of the floor?”
What makes people so grossed out about different foods touching on the plate before eating them? Are they traveling to a different place? Yes, they must be taking a different route to the same exit.
Who invented sporks, and why? Maybe it was to give me another thing to think about, clearly, there isn’t enough.
When and why was it ever established that pink-is-for-girls and blue-is-for-boys?
Is there a time in life when I’ll forget to laugh at myself or remember that taking a chance is not a future regret unless I don’t learn something?
What makes us selfish? Love? Hate? War?
What makes us love unconditionally, forgive and become selfless?
. Am I wasting your time?