This is the first day of my life. Im glad I didnt die before I met you...

Song playing: Alexisonfire - polaroids of polarbears

Ugh.. I feel so distraught right now. My thoughts arent processing the way they should its like a billion words running through my head in diffrent directions, crashing into one another. And I know I should be doing something but im not. For reasons that I dont know. Im worrying for no reason and its really stupid.
I already can tell im not gonna get sleep tonight. And I dont even know the reasoning behind this jumble...uuugh I wish it would just leave my head hurts...

On another note..

I just got in from heritage and boy was it fun.
I had some amazing talks with some people and got to know others alot better.
I had next to no sleep and many halarious conversations as the result

But one of things I wanted to focus on here is something I definatly didnt want to hear from God ..or anyone for that matter. And if you know me this is a big deal.

So during chapel one night. Lance is sharing about how he has alot of cd's and how material possessions in the end arent worth it and all that.
Then I sensed this voice saying something like " So,...steph. You listen to lots of music dont you?...you consume your day with it dont you?"
by then im thinking to myself " pfft...naaah your kidding. me?" and that was obviously a total lie so I heard
" no... no I think you do. Maybe you should give up some of that time that you spend listening to music and actually spend it with me. Your blocking me out. How can I speak to you if theres always constant noise"
Thats something I definatly didnt want to hear at the time. I do consume my day listening to music. It has such an effect on me and I let it become a part of my everyday life and for me to give that up is going to be a big stretch.
I didnt feel that I needed to give it up completly because I dont think God is making me give up something I love so much. But cut back on it and in the time that I could be listening to music or playing it. I could spend a little time with God instead.


So yah. that was my weekend in a nutshell. And im out because i feel like im going to vomit
( Screw you mcdonalds!! )