Felicity Van Loon

So I tried out for the drama " the phantom of the opr'y " On monday and they posted the parts today.
All I have to say is, I got ripped off again.
But hey. I didn't have my hope too high Because everyone who I expected to get main, did.
At least this time I was expecting something not too great.
Whatever at least im in it right?
Apparantly I'm an "uppity audience member" Who insults everyone. So I guess it could be kind of fun.



In other news. I get my contacts soon. Sometime early this week. Woo hoo.

On another note. The loving...Caring, Greg Sawatzky kindly pointed out this songs relavance to my life.
Come gather round' and I shall show you these lyrics

Reliant K - Maintain Consciousness
Our concentration it contains a deadly flaw
our conversations change from words to blah, blah blah
we took prescription drugs but look how much good that did
well I think I had a point, but I just got distracted

Lately it just seems to me
like we've got the letters A.D.D.
branded into our mentality
we simply can't focus on anything

because its17, 18, 19 routine
and here at 23 it's the same old me
and that one thing of the moment
that we all happen to like will
only very temporarily
kinda break the cycle
of the double edged sword
of being lazy and being bored
we just want more and more and more
till it's all we can afford

to keep our eyes open for just one more day
to keep on hoping that we'll stumble on a way
to keep our minds open for just one more day
cause its completely up to us
to maintain consciousness

well no one can possibly listen to this
more than 4 reps is just monotonous
we're losing interest, losing interest, losing interest

because its17, 18, 19 routine
and here at 23 it's the same old me
and that one thing of the moment
that we all happen to like will
only very temporarily
kinda break the cycle
of the double edged sword
of being lazy and being bored
we just want more and more and more
till it's all we can afford
to keep our eyes open for just one more day
to keep on hoping that we'll stumble on a way
to keep our minds open for just one more day
cause its completely up to usto maintain consciousness

to keep our eyes open for just one more dayt
o keep on hoping that we'll stumble on a way
to keep our minds open for just one more day
cause its completely up to us
to maintain consciousness

Sing me something soft, Sad and delicate, or loud and out of key, sing me anything...

I love cleaning out mouse roller things... like you know those little things inside your mouse that collects layers of dirt and you can pick it off?
I find it extremly satisfying.
Maybe im weird though. But maybe im not.

Im already starting to get really nervous about after school. I know I shouldn't be this early in the year but I know forsure that I want to do the DTS program with YWAM after I graduate.
Iv been looking at the YWAM site. And I have NO idea how to go about signing up. When to sign up, HOW to sign up and what base I want to go to.
So if anyone knows ANYTHING about signing up or anything please please talk to me or something.
I know its early in the year but Id feel more comfortable knowing ahead of time.
thanks in advance.

Have a heart...

Calling all Big Hearts!
Make sure to mark your calendars for the Building Hope Benefit Concert, October 14th 2005 at WestPortal Church in Saskatoon, SK.
The line up is one to take seriously, and could be the best indie/hardcore show in the 306 this fall.
Whittaker, Captain, Silence Through Injustice, The Reception, and Means are all scheduled to kick various amounts of Bottom for a good cause.
All 5 bands have PureVolume sites that you should definitely check out.
Tickets will be sold in advance (at scotts parables) and at the door ($10 either way).
Contact Zach at moshinforjesus@Yahoo.com for more info.
Make sure to tell your friends, cause the bands playing are travelling from all around Western Canada and agreed to play for nothing but gas money.
Have a heart.

(following note by Zach Lucky )

The main reason we are putting the show on is because of dwayne harms.
I am sure many of you know him or heard the story of his passing after loosing a short battle to cancer (he blog his journey through cancer, here is the site. http://dhjourney.blogspot.com )
SO make sure to check that out. I could see and hear his dreams for the church. He wanted it to grow.

Right now the church is trying to buy the building which we are in and we have to raise a LOT of money before that will ever happen, and we only have until december. This isn't going to happen with just us, we need Your help guys.

Please please give me a hand here.
Please forward this e-mail to as many people as you know, put it in your msn names, post it on blogs and chat forums.
Just tell all of your friends at school, and if you would like a poster or a few, I have a ton left that need to go up.
Just ask me.
Guys if you would help me out with this just a bit it would be a huge blessing.
And Please come to the show, All of the bands have caught the vision and are coming for very little money, easpecially the reception (they are driving over 10 hours for the show)
Please come support the cause and these great bands.

Dogs are forever in the push-up position...

My parents are the worst procrastinators ever. Remember a year ago? When I said I was getting contacts the next week? Yeah. me too.
Now its many weeks later.. in fact a year and a bit more later, and Im going in for the first of my two appointments. Finally!
Your probably thinking why didn't I call them myself?...Well.. Shut up..thats why.

On another note

I am offically starting up a fanclub.
A fanclub for what you ask?
A fanclub for Leahs Blog ( Seriosly, its the best blog ever. funny..witty...insightful. what more could you ask for? If you answer that with anything. you are selfish. haha)

So sign up now and you will recive a free....comic. drawn especially for you...by me.
In dedication of Leahs love for my comics I guess ( That and I couldnt think of anything else )

So dont delay! Sign up today!

And to end. A picture of a flying squirrel. Because its the strangest animal in the animal kingdom. and it looks halarious

Best thing ever = Scaring babies

Seriosly..
Everybody thinks im cruel but I dont think anyone can deny that scaring babies is fun.
The look on their face is PRICELESS I tell you.
I guess thats how I look when people scare me though because people seem to enjoy it as well.

Note to everyone out there: Dont let me near your kids. haha

Man. You know at the begining of the school year. You vow to keep everything clean and keep your binder organized. But then on the first day theres already rotting food in the bottom of your locker?
Thats like me.Those vows never ever stick with me. So im not even going to try this year to be organized because I know its just going to fail miserably. Oh wait. It already has

Speaking of being organized though.I moved my room downstairs yesterday and im happy. Its so much more roomy and more secluded.
I love my room. Its somewhere where I can escape to.
It wasnt much of a sanctuary before yesterday because my room was right across from my parents. Now its just below. haha.
This way I can play music and nobody cares. And the window is on the side of the house where the morning light comes in through the windows.
The only downside is im creeped out of my window because its ground level and im used to having it where nobody can be a creep and look in. Not that anyone does. Its just something that COULD happen. haha

For the last random comment of the day.Why is it so fun to jump in leaves?

This kid totaly looks like hes either having the time of his life. Or hes scared out of his mind and was forced to do it. Either way its halarious.
Whenever I try to jump in a pile of leaves. I either have a cruddy pile and I hit the ground really hard or the leaves are all gooey and gross. But its fun!

Im going to end this post with another picture of jumping in leaves. Because its funny

Oh yah. Im gonna follow the trend I set and copy Jess once again


10 FAVORITES
Favorite Color:Green
Favorite Food:Corn on the cob and mashed potatoes
Favorite Band: i don't even know right now
Favorite Song: I also dont even know right now
Favorite Movie: Donnie Darko
Favorite Sport: To watch - basketball or volleyball To play - soccer
Favorite Season: Fall and summer
Favorite Day Of the Week: friday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: mint chocolate chip
Favorite Time of Day: 8pm-1am

9 CURRENTS

Current Mood: kind of annoyed
Current Taste: my mouth
Current Clothes: blue bunnyhug and jeans
Current Toenail Color: normal
Current Time: 4:03
Current Surroundings: My downstairs living room
Current Thoughts: Why is he trying so hard

8 FIRSTS
First Best Friend: katie
First Kiss: who said I've had one?
First Screen Name: probably like, steph or something stupid
First Pet: buttercup my hamster..aww...poor hamster
First Piercing: ear lobes
First Crush: haha...Jeff peard I think
First Music: Backstreet's Back by BSB
First Car: cutless ceirra...an oldsmobile...woo

7 LASTS
Last Cigarette: never ever. yuck.
Last Drink: pop
Last Car Ride: to the school this morning
Last Kiss: never ever
Last Time you said I love you and meant it: today
Last Phone Call: My dad
Last CD played: Underoath i think

6 HAVE YOU EVER
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Guy/Girl Friends?: nope
Have You Ever Broken the Law: yes, not anything serious though (jay walking..oooooooh!)
Have You Ever gone Sky diving: not yet
Have You Ever gone Skinny Dipping: no
Have You Ever Been on TV: I dont think so
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: Nope

5 THINGS
1 Thing You're Wearing: My rings
1 Thing You've Done Today: cut a bunch of flowers stems
1 Thing You Can Hear Right Now: Dashboard confessional
1Thing You Can't Live Without: Music
1 Thing You Do When You're Bored: Play music. talk to myself

4 PLACES YOU'VE BEEN TODAY
1. school
2. outside
3. my house
4. my benches

3 PEOPLE THAT YOU LOVE
1. Jesus ( haha holy sunday school asnwer batman!)
2. my best friends
3. YOU

2 CHOICES
1.black or white: black
2. hot or cold: cold

1 THING YOU WANT TO DO
Tell some people straight up what they need to hear

Look at the stars, and how they shine for you...


Stargazing is my favorite thing ever.
At Shekina the stars were the most amazing thing ever. The sky was so clear you could see like every single star including a bunch of falling stars.
Me and Greg star gazed for probably over an hour while we were playing "The Amazing Race"

Stars are my favorite gift from God aside from sunsets and sun rises. But the night sky is definatly up there.



Did you rise the sun for me. Or paint a million stars that I might know your majesty"

Bright Eyes - Falling out of love at this volume


tell me what you wanted to hear
let me do the right thing
let me do the wrong thing
and if it's ever this clear i will only say it once
*just let me turn the amps way up so you can hear nothing
and if i die tonight
then i guess i die tonight let me go on*
just say what you wanted to say
i cannot stand these talks dear
they only get us nowhere
it's never resolved we only run around you always
*tell me anyone could be just like me
if it was a different time and a different place to be
you would go on

These knuckles break before they bleed...


So I just got in from the optomitrist.
Who else hates that place? I do.
One part of it is, they make you put your chin on this thing and look into a machine and they say "Ok we are going to blow a slight puff into your eye"
So your thinking. Ok, It wont be too bad. Then without warning a big puff invades your eye and dries it out when you least expect it. Which results in you hitting your forehead on the bar your supposed to rest it on.
I jumped every time so they had to do it 3 times on my right eye and 5 times on my left.
Why do they feel the need to do that? Seriosly. Out of enjoyment of watching people jump and hit there head on the stupid bar and make them do it again? Ridiculous i tell you.

In other news. This weekend is going to add on the streak of not being able to sleep in since school has started. weeooo
Im a youth sponsor for the junior youth retreat and were going to shekinah. And im the only female sponsor....woo. Im in for a treat arent I? Oh well. it should be fun. Im kind of excited.

Oh well tomorow im going to Rickys all day grill. Iv never been there and Im told im in for a treat.

UPDATE:
The last half of the day our physed and art class got together and we were all presented with "awards" from our camping trip.
And some awards and their punishments worth noting were:

Kendall and Steph:
Kendall never wore his headphones the whole week and Steph forgot the buns.
So steph had to make "bun-phones" for kendall and he had to wear them through break and get 20 people to notice that he was wearing them. halarious
then they had to make up new words to 5 songs using the word bun
ie: I like big buns and i cannot lie or jingle buns jingle buns

Me and Brennan:
Grumpiest campers ( apparantly )
So we had to have a staring contest and whoever smiled first lost. *i won by the way*

Me Brennan Cody Kim and Matt
Loudest at night singing camp and prarie veiw songs
So we had to make up a song using pots and pans and it was called " ode to volume "

There was alot more but im too lazy to think of them all..if you really want to know.ask me

So until next time.
Anderson out...
(haha im such a nerd)

Everything you will ever want to know about Steph...and more


eyes
1 what color are your eyes? brown
2 what color were they when you were born? brown probably
3 what color are your lashes? black or brown... I dont know
4 do you have bigger pupils than others or smaller? Im not sure. probably bigger
5 have you ever counted the number of times you blink in a second? nope
6 do you wear contacts? on thursday I will
7 do you wear glasses? yes
8 did you ever have eye surgery? no
9 what was the last thing that poked you in the eye? my finger probably
10 can you touch your eyes without flinching or does it just gross you out? it doesnt bother me
11 how often do you look into people's eyes when you talk? i try to always but sometimes i look away so that i don't make them uncomfortable
12 what's your favorite eye color?: green
13 do you ever just go up to someone and look into their eyes because you want to know their eye color? it's been known to happen..im a creep
14 do you wear sunglasses often? never
15 what eye color do you wish you had? green
16 can you cross your eyes? sure can
17 do you roll your eyes constantly? i roll my eyes but not constantly
18 what's your favorite color? (yes, your favorite color to look at): brown, olive green and black
19 what's the prettiest season and why? beginning of fall. i think thats a givin though
20 who's the hottest or cutest person you ever saw? this guy we saw on the lrt in edmonton...*daydreams* seriously.( stole that one from jess)
21 what was the last thing you read (book wise)? thr3e
22 who was the last person you wanted to see? haha...yah
23 what was the last thing you watched on tv? simpsons
24 do you read the newspaper much? never unless its comics
25do you read magazines much? not really
26 do you read much in general? i NEED to read more
27 what's the first thing you see if you look over and past your computer screen? a wall...
28 did you ever see it hailing? of course, has anyone in saskatchewan not seen it hail?
29 don't you hate it when you have sleep in your eyes (like the crusty crap)? haha no. its fun to pick out
30 close your eyes. (after you read the whole question, dummy lol) are there lights still in your lids in with the dark? no
31 can you sleep with a light on? yeah
32 how light is it outside? like, midafternoon light
33 can you roll your eyes into the back of your head? yes but it hurts

ears

1 do you like your ears? No i have a gross nubby thing
2 do you have them pierced? yup but i dont wear earrings
3 how many times? just two
4 what's your favorite sound? a guy playing the piano or guitar or screaming ( not randomly but in song)
5 what's the worst noise in the world? the sound of rubbing mini mitts together or straws rubbing the side of slurpee cups
6 are you listening to any music? if so, what song is it: Ghost of tragedy by day of contempt
7 what do you hear around you? Day of contempt
8 what's your favorite song? thats impossible to answer
9 can you wiggle your ears? haha no, but i wish i could
10 when was the last time you stuck your fingers in your ears so you couldn't hear something and why? During the pre show to the used...it was like...a screechy sound that was stupid
11 do your ears have attached lobes or unattached? ummm...unattatched
12 do your ears get red when your embarrassed or any other emotion roars through your body? i don't think so
13 what was the last thing someone said to you? Steph! remeber turn out the lights sing the song. boom boom out go the lights -my dad
14 is it annoying to get that ringing noise in there? no it prevents silence
15 do you hear voices? not usually
16 what was the last thing you heard that you rather didn't? lol adams your mom joke that went horribly wrong...ew
17 what was the last thing you wanted to hear, but never heard it? i don't know
18 what was the last piece of advice you were given? dont do that or youll get stung.but did i listen? no. did they sting me? no
19did you ever put a rubber band around your ear? i'm sure i have
20 go and open the door to outside and what's the first thing you hear? i'm too lazy to actually get up and go listen, but i'm pretty sure i'd hear kids yelling, a car or both

mouth

1 do you ever stop talking? not usually
2 who did you talk to last? my dad, not counting my family, david or jess
3 what was the last thing you said? "see you later!"
4 did you brush your teeth today? of course
5 how many times do you usually? at least once, usually more
6 who are you talking with now? on msn. zach
7 who do you wish you were talking to? someone....
8 who was the last person to call you? laurel
9 who was the last person you called? laurel
10 who was the last person to IM you? zach
11 who was the last person you IMed? zach
12 do you talk to yourself? yeah
13 do you mind? not at all
14 the stupidest thing you said in the past 48 hours?i have no idea. i say alot of dumb things
15 do you sing? of course
16 do you sing in the shower? only when no one else is home
17 do you sing in public? rarely
18 do you hum or sing while walking down the halls? ya
19 are you outspoken? no
20 are you opinionated? i have them, but don't speak them often though
21 do you speak your mind? depends on the circumstances
22 how often do people tell you to shut up, jokingly or not? all the time
23 are you a public speaker type? yes and no
24 do you stutter? sometimes when im excited
25how many languages do you speak? one fluently, and i'm a poser french speaker
26 how often do you scream? whenever i'm given the opportunity
27 are you loud or quiet? loud
28 does your mouth reflect your personality on the inside? what?
29 who has the coolest/sweetest voice? bill just cuz he has a strong accent and i like colins
30 how do you get your voice heard and ideas out? i talk loud
31 do you often write letters? never
32 what was the last song you sang? Dont remeber
33 what's your usual greeting to a friend? *insert name here*!!!
34 what's your usual greeting to an adult? "hi"
35 what's your usually greeting on the phone? "hello?"
36 what's your favorite food? corn on the cob
37 what's your favorite gum? dont rightly know. probably cotton candy bubblicious
38 what's your favorite word? crud. or random
39 what's your favorite drink? peach juice
40 is your tongue pierced? nope but i want it done
41 do you like tongue piercings?yes
42 how about lip piercings? on some people
43 ever have braces, how long?nope
44 do you have a retainer, for how long? no
45 can you curl your tongue? yep
46 can you whistle, on inhale or exhale? both, wooot!
47 do you grind your teeth? in my sleep and when im nervous
48 did you have your first kiss yet and with who? haha no
49 did you ever french?no
50 how many people have you ever kissed? none..besides my parents lol
51 off the kissing subject already... did you ever have a filling? yeah
52 if so, how many? i'm not exactly sure
53 how many cavities? 2 or so
54 are you a lip gloss addict? no
55 how about chap stick? no
56 do you like the dentist? NO!
57 do you have all four wisdom teeth? zero, but i can feel them coming
58 ever have any teeth pulled?no
59 how about a root canal? nope
60 go to a mirror and count how many teeth you have. how many? 24
61 did you lose all your baby teeth yet? yeah yeah
62 if not, how many to go? ...
63 what was the last thing you ate? fries
65 do you bite? haha yes
66 how often do you snap at people? only sometimes if i'm angry enough
67 are your teeth straight? i guess pretty
68 can you flip you tongue over? both ways
69 can you snap your tongue really loud?yeah i guess
70 can you pop your lips? yeah

nose

1 is your nose pierced? no
2 do you like pierced noses? depends on who
3 current scent? coconut
4 no coke sniffing, right? you know it
5 what about pixi stix up the nose ever? ew no that would hurt
6 do you hold your nose to swim? nope
7 can you flare your nostrils? yes
8 do you have freckles on the bridge of your nose? nope
10 do you pick it sometimes? (be honest): ewwwww
11 do you push your nose to keep your balance? um...?
12 what's the worst scent? any classroom after another class has been in there or like...tar
13 what's the best scent? boys that smell good. rain
14 what deodorant do you use? haha i use guy deodarant old spice
15 what's your favorite cologne? whatever smells good
16what's your favorite perfume? my deisel stuff
17 what do you use? dream, green tea deseil
18 does scent matter in the opposite sex (not as in they shower or not but their cologne or perfume)? yes
19 do you blow your nose in public? no, never
20 look around. find a random thing and and smell it. describe it's scent. and then say what it was: metally. a little toy car

touch

1 what does you keyboard feel like? a keyboard?
2 what's the best feeling in the world (emotionally)? feeling god moving or making someone happy
3 what's the best feeling in the world (physically)? bass shaking your body at a concert, hugs, my hair being played with
4 what's the worst feeling in the world (emotionally)? anxiety, stress, worry, rejection
5 what's the worst feeling in the world (physically)? being sick to my stomachor really itchy
6 what do your feet feel like at the moment? sat on
7 what do your hands feel like at the moment? normal heat
8 what does your head feel like at the moment? good i guess
9 what does your bladder feel like, especially after this? comfortable
10 what do your legs feel like at the moment? crossed and asleep
11 what do your shoulders and arms feel like at the moment? fine
12 what does your butt feel like at the moment? kind of numb
13 what does your neck feel like at the moment? toasty warm
14 are you cold? no
15 are you comfortable? not really
16 where are you? my computer room
17 who was the last person you hugged? laurel
18 who was the last person that pushed you? I have no idea, i was at a concert
19 who was the last person that you pushed? someone at that concert
20 when was the last time you fell over? yesterday or the day before
21 does music calm you and your nerves? yes
22 if not, then what makes you chill?
23what stresses you out? school, driving with my friends around
24 when was the last time you touched a doorknob? according to my calculations...i dont know
25 do you crack your knuckles?aaaaallll the time
26 what's your current emotion? content
27 ever think you were in love? no
28 how many times have you fallen for the opposite sex? several times, but not hardcore or anything
29 what's the worst season (in feeling wise of course)? spring blech, it gets my pant legs wet
30 how do you feel now, after that long survey? relived

It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door


So this weekend was full of enjoyment/ lack of sleep.
On friday morning our grade 12 class left to go camping at memorial lake. Im not too keen about that lake but hey. It was alright.
It was pretty cold up until the last day and at nights I almost froze my face off I swear, I was wearing a hoodie, a winter jacket, mitts and a wool touque and I was still freezing.

All in all it was a pretty eventful trip from water/land polo ( which was really cold but hey i still played in the water haha ) to playing Iv never around the campfire.

But definatly the best part of the weekend was the Underoath/Alexisonfire/ The Used ( there was another band that I missed. I heard they were good but i didnt catch there name so if anyone knows can you inform me please? ) And hanging out with Laurel and seeing Zach again after I found them that is. I saw tons of people there that I knew and really didnt expect to see there so that was sweet.

But anyways...I got lost coming there...haha yah...thats right, Lost going to prairie land park...shut up.
Anyways. As a result of that madness I missed the first band. But came in time to see Underoath. Which is who I came for. So i was happy
They put on an insanly good show. They have so much energy when they play and they sound really good live. To be honest I didnt expect that.
They put on the best show Iv been to I think. I was blown away.
They played almost all my favorites and a new song which i thought was pretty sweet. So really. I had a perma smile on all night.
I still dont understand how someone can drum and sing at the same time. But hey.

But I really respect them because near the end of their concert they said "we do everything we do because of Jesus Christ."
Thats awesome to see seeing as right after that The Used came out and were just dropping F bombs left and right and getting everyone to " lift there middle fingers into the effing air" I stayed for 2 or 3 songs of theirs and then Me lance David Thomas and Steph decided wed rather go get some subway...so we did.
Its awesome to see them still playing for the glory of God and still rocking out and having fun at a " non christian" joint.

So all in all. Best weekend ever.

Im just a fool for you...

My week can be summed up as so. Sometimes Gods plans definatly arent my plans.

It says in the bible that God wants to give you the desires of your heart. And im starting to think one I asked for isnt one of the desires he wants to give me right now.
I prayed about something. I asked for a clear answer. and I think I got it. The answer was "wait"
Thats possibly the worst answer ever.
But you know. Im alright with that.
Im bummed forsure. but you know. God obviosly has bigger plans for me at the moment.

I got this e-mail tonight and heres what it said

Relationships
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep and fullfilling relationship with one another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively.
But God says, "No! Not until you are satisfied, filled and content with being loved by me alone. I love you my child.
Until you discover that in me is your satisfication, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you.
You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else.
Exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to stop planning and wishing. Allow me to bring that person to you. You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep listening to and learning the things I tell you. You just wait! That's all. Don't worry, and don't look around at the things other people have or the things I give them.
ou just keep looking up to me or you will miss what I want to show you. When you are ready I will surprise you with a love more wonderful than you could ever have dreamed of.
You see, it will happen when you are ready and when the one I have for you is ready. I am working this very minute to have you both ready at the same time. Until both of you are satisfied exclusively with me and the life that I have planned for you, you will not be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me.
This my dear one is perfect love. And I want you to have this wonderful love, I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me. to enjoy materially and concertely that everlasting union of perfection and love that I offer you with myself.
Please know that I love you dearly. Believe it and you will be satisfied.
Just remember this.
Love Your Daddy


So that was pretty cool and definatly cleared up alot of things. Im also thinking the whole giving up music thing to spend time with God ties in with this whole crazy plan

But instead of worrying and complaining im going to go along with it. I dont know where it will take me but I know it will be far greater and more rewarding than I can imagine

But I dunno. If you guys could pray for me if youd like...that would be awesome. ( you know . patience. those kind of things )

Oh yah if anyone who reads this knows any details..such as names..I dont REALLY want the whole internet world to know. so dont...say anything haha.

Like a shout through an empty sanctuary. Speak but a whisper,I’ll hear a sermon...


I think my lack of sleep last night has given me too much time to think.
Right now I'm stuck in a state of mind that I don't want to have. Something isn't right, but I don't know what, and I don't know what to do about it.
It's frustrating to see that something in me is incomplete, but not knowing what's missing.

*sigh*

On friday we leave for our grade 12 camping trip. And im not as excited as I was before. Why you ask? Because its going to be freakin cold! Uuugh... Whats more depressing than knowing winters coming? Nothing I say.

But I guess it has its benifits. Fall = Thanksgiving and Thanksgiving = food
Also I think fall is my favorite season ever. Even though its cold and everythings dying and the fact that school comes with fall. Its absolutly gorgeouse!



I love the colors and I love the sound of the wind rushing through the leaves and pushing the already fallen ones across the ground.
I love taking peaceful fall sunset walks, and watching the leaves break free of the trees they clung onto and gently twirl to the ground.
And how whenever the wind blows or a car drives by, it stirs up a whirlwind of beautiful colors.


Now I just wish I had my camera so I could take pictures. But noooo! It got stolen.
Im a curse when it comes to cameras. Its also very ironic how thats what I want to do after school.
Boo urns.

Watch me die - Underoath


I lay as this sacrifice to this unholy altar
The evil inside Satan; Satan sit and watch me die
Demented screams, tortured beings, where's your hope,where's your smile, there was none
Life of lies gone, gone no more
So upset, so distraught, I'm sorry, I'm Sorry... I live for the Lord
Watch me die no longer I am alive
My purpose no more... I live for Christ
Dead to sin, only begin, imagine what's for Soldier of Christ
Changed with a new beginning, blood of the lamb, white washed sins
Forgive me God for all of these years of my transgressions
I cry renewed, I cry renewed This world means nothing to me
My life changed I now see Crucified with Christ,the old self left with the rest of this world, rest of this world
Kneel before his throne, home now from this journey
I see my father in his arms finally found
This path I have chosen is hard but I'll make it with my saviors help
I survive this hell till the end I'll stand true
Eternal life, ready for the fight that the evil brings
No giving in... I'm freeThe fire burns engulfing all the victims in it's path, no where to run
Over taken they give in to surrender to the Lord once, and for all
No longer keeping quiet, no longer standing still,no longer giving in, no longer going back
I stand strong praying for love always to be in my heart



Those lyrics are intense. Sorry about the two posts a day but I thought I needed to show you guys them


the song sounds kind of creepy but really cool

We're nothing short of invinsible...

Song playing : Underoath - Its dangerous buisness walking out your front door


I love looking forward to things. I think thats what keeps me motivated to finish off the school week. Like the Grade 12 camping trip this weekend then right after that the UNDEROATH concert! Im so excited to hang out with some of my favorite people from camp and the best part is its at a freaking sweet concert.
But after this weekend I dont think I have anything to look forward to so thats going to stink.

Todays a day that I just feel like keeping in my headphones and ignoring the world. But after this weekend I know I shouldnt do that anymore and its already proving to be difficult. I do it on impulse. Turn on my cd player or sit down on the computer and put on music. Its only the first day after the weekend. and Iv already spent the majority of my day listening to music. That or at least half.

Ugh sorry im rambling. Im really bored I have double spare. One before lunch and one after. And some of you may ask why im not at home. I have my reasons. good reasons. Trust me on that.

Lastly.I still feel sick from last night.
Who all will join my in boycotting McDonalds forever?

This is the first day of my life. Im glad I didnt die before I met you...

Song playing: Alexisonfire - polaroids of polarbears

Ugh.. I feel so distraught right now. My thoughts arent processing the way they should its like a billion words running through my head in diffrent directions, crashing into one another. And I know I should be doing something but im not. For reasons that I dont know. Im worrying for no reason and its really stupid.
I already can tell im not gonna get sleep tonight. And I dont even know the reasoning behind this jumble...uuugh I wish it would just leave my head hurts...

On another note..

I just got in from heritage and boy was it fun.
I had some amazing talks with some people and got to know others alot better.
I had next to no sleep and many halarious conversations as the result

But one of things I wanted to focus on here is something I definatly didnt want to hear from God ..or anyone for that matter. And if you know me this is a big deal.

So during chapel one night. Lance is sharing about how he has alot of cd's and how material possessions in the end arent worth it and all that.
Then I sensed this voice saying something like " So,...steph. You listen to lots of music dont you?...you consume your day with it dont you?"
by then im thinking to myself " pfft...naaah your kidding. me?" and that was obviously a total lie so I heard
" no... no I think you do. Maybe you should give up some of that time that you spend listening to music and actually spend it with me. Your blocking me out. How can I speak to you if theres always constant noise"
Thats something I definatly didnt want to hear at the time. I do consume my day listening to music. It has such an effect on me and I let it become a part of my everyday life and for me to give that up is going to be a big stretch.
I didnt feel that I needed to give it up completly because I dont think God is making me give up something I love so much. But cut back on it and in the time that I could be listening to music or playing it. I could spend a little time with God instead.


So yah. that was my weekend in a nutshell. And im out because i feel like im going to vomit
( Screw you mcdonalds!! )

I'll show you a picture. A picture of tomorrow. There's nothing changing, It's all sorrow...

Song playing - The Wedding - Morning air

Spares are beginning to tick me off. They are extremly boring. I have no life and I'm too lazy to walk home.

Oh well at least I think I'm providing some entertainment for some of you.. I hope.

Heritage is tomorow and I'm super excited. And for those of you who arent from Dalmeny who read this. Its a cabin up north that our youth group goes to for a youth retreat.
Its awesome cause I always come back with better friends because there is so much bonding time.
The place is so darn beautiful. Its impossible not to sense God when your there. When you look around you. You see beautiful creation in every direction. Incredible. Sunsets, Northern lights, Sunrises, Fog over the lake. I can hardly wait.

Anyways I'm gonna leave off with something that was on my myspace blog.

is it wrong that my heart is in a different place than i am.
is it wrong that where im from isnt where i want to be from.
is it wrong that sometimes i need a song to forget about my troubles.
is it wrong that sometimes i laugh when i should cry.
is it wrong that sometimes i say what people want to hear instead of what they should hear.
is it wrong that i have a passion for something i hardly even know.
is wrong to have more then you deserve.
is it wrong to run from reality once and a while.
is it wrong to have feelings.
is it wrong to wear jeans to church.
is it wrong to let simple details slip your mind.
is it wrong to know more than you thought you knew.
is it wrong to be myself.
is it wrong.

For Teri ( Haircut David was talking about )

Sorry everyone else. Teri just wanted to see a style of hair shes never heard of...and I couldnt think of any other way to show her. because explaining did no good... so its kinda like this
( ahh the magic of google )

so its kinda like that..that was the best i could find. cause i have tons of spare time.... your welcome for the useless knowledge lol

( after she sees this i will most likely delete this post so no worries everyone else )

I dont care, I could go anywhere with you and id probably be happy...

So its second class spare and im trying to write a poem about the praries.
I can never write poems when someone gives me a specific topic. So if anyone has any ideas send them my way!

I did post it. But then i realized it just sucked. So nuts to that.

My computer crashed the other day. And i backed up nothing. Thats right. nothing.
So all my pictures/music/ everything got deleted and im pretty peeved. All my pictures from my philidelphia missions trip...camp... everything

Hey so if anyone has pictures from camp do you wanna send me them by any chance? to my e-mail.
And i cant remeber all the songs i had. So song suggestions would be appreicated to.

This is just a suggestion...ful post. sorry bout that.

And I know this probably isnt going to work. But just so i have an idea. everyone who reads my blog do you wanna leave a comment saying you do. that would be sweet.

Thanks guys

C is for cookie, thats good enough for me ...

I changed my template because I like this one a jillion times better than my green one. lots of people have this one though. oh well. I like it.

Im offically addicted to cookies.

Seriosly. My mom NEVER bakes. Today I wake up and I smell cookies and im thinking to myself " uh oh...I smell cookies... i think im having a stroke" but then i quickly realize its burnt toast you smell so I hop out of bed to go investigate.
I come upon my mom...in the kitchen ( if you know her. thats pretty amazing in itself )
and she was BAKING!
I looked at her and asked...mom...*in a nervouse scared voice* what are you doing?
She replied with " baking cookies.... i think im sick "

but they were super good. they werent even burnt which is a miracle in itself. so its all good. Now all is back to normal with my mom never to be seen again in the kitchen ( unless its cleaning or doing the dishes or something. that I will allow haha)


Me and Jess went out to the park today and took pictures. I will post some later. Lots turned out good.

Until then.
Chillinize.

Oh I almost forgot. I found this on Jess's myspace page and I thought I would give it a try

Spell your name with your:
NOSE: stteppj
TONGUE: steph ( ew )
CHIN: steslophgb ( huzzah! )
FEET: awww nooo... fine....stwph
EYES CLOSED AND ONE FINGER: steph ( woah howd i do that )
BACK OF YOUR HAND:3 x7t65e5p[uih ( is that possible? )
PALM: sterp[;hj
WRIST: stephn

hurrah that was fun. I hope you liked my commentary as well

Goodbyes are definatly not my thing...


So Stacey left for BC last night...for two years...and I cried.

Im terrible with goodbyes. Honestly. I have only cried in 1 movie in my life. and no books or any of that junk. But when it comes to goodbyes I just lose it.

Shell be back for christmas and stuff. But that still means no more going out for coffee and talking about boys. No more chicken lemon rice and no more stacey massages. That is until she comes back.. but still....

We had a little shindig for her last night. And some of her other friends threw her a suprise thing too. So she was quite the popular lady last night. It was fun im glad shes doing what she wants to do now

So stacey if your reading this. I wish you the best of luck and I will most definatly keep in touch with you.
Your amazing and I miss you tons already.

The artist formerly known as the concept of anatomy

So im here anxiously awaiting carrie to get home. Why you ask? And to that I say. Because
shes bringing me a fish, Foo.

Thats right. A goldfish.
And im keeping it in my nalgene and taking it with me wherever i go.
And for those of you who say " ooooh how mean! its going to die!",... its not. Ill be careful. I promise.
I even got those little gravelly bits in the bottom
And yes. I have fish food

I am now taking name suggestions. I have 3 so far and they are
1. anatomy
2. the artist formerly known as the concept of anatomy
3. Cootie

I will now be open for suggestions and i will pick the best of the suggestions.

Now start those suggestions!



EDIT:
apparantly they dont sell goldfish at walmart anymore. So im gonna go into petland later this week. so the fish will be post poned

I'll be wrapped around your finger

So it was the first real day of school today. Its third class and I have double spare...and im terribly bored. Web msn is blocked on these computers too... Hoorah.

Grade 12 is Better than I thought it would be actually.
But I have a feeling that this year is going to be really really diffrent, Its just in the way that everybody is acting towards each other. I sense tension between some people and it sucks.

I want to wake up one morning , go through my day to day exisentce with the usual tasks at hand. but after i shower and put on clothes . i want to place my wallet into my pocket and walk away.
I want to keep walking until i am gone from this idiotic routine.
gone from the people who have no respect for me.
from the people who think i should apologize all the time
i want to leave every materialized item in my room leave it where it sits and just leave
lately it seems as though everything around me has been a blur
and i feel as though i have been stepping away from everyone, or everyone away from me
and yet i have been watching
i have been watching everything and trusting nothing
not even the words that have spewed from the mouths of those whom i trust
those words that trickle over there lips seems as though they could merely be lies upon lies
the truth where does it ever really exist
there have been moments though when i take a small step forward again and then from the mere dissapointment i have taken two more back
in my mind i am lost
thats really all there is to this
i no longer trust the words i hear or the things i see
i no longer trust my stance on the ground where i stand
i trust nothing except for Jesus and that perphaps my life will be put back in order soon.

I bet you build me up this high just so i can crash a little harder

I had another bad day so yes the title applys

wow. whenever school nears my days start flopping
For the past 2 days everyones been acting weird to me and mistakes from last year have come backto bite me in the face. And the worst part is i could have avoided it if i put in a freaking Smidgen of effort.

It seems like I get put on this high. A long stream of good days. I feel as if everyones watching me climb up my little happiness ladder while they chuckle to themselves and play rock paper scissors to decide whos turn it is to run over and push me down leaving me back where i started in this first place.

This times diffrent. It feels like when I fell I broke both my legs

For once id like to stay up there on my own happiness ladder.I have way too many things to worry about lately and its stressing me out to huge degrees But i guess troubles and junk is what makes us human right?....right?

I guess today wasnt ALL bad. we had a gym blast at our school and corwin came and did it so that was sweet. Our group was the smallest and we still won. Woot!


anyways,... photography


This is that same truck that I took the picture of the broken glass a couple posts back

Waking life

This is a quote in the movie waking life. Pay attention now, You kind of have to think

(Main character walking down the street with a man who is holding a can of gasoline).

The self-destructive man feels completely alienated, utterly alone.
He's an outsider to the human community.
He thinks to himself, "I must be insane."
What he fails to realize is that society has, just as he does, a vested interest in considerable losses, in catastrophes.
These wars, famines, floods and quakes meet well defined needs.
Man wants chaos. In fact, he's got to have it.
Depressions, strife, riots, murder, all this dread.
We're irresistibly drawn to that almost orgiastic state created out of death and destruction.
It's in all of us. We revel in it. Sure, the media tries to put a sad face on these things, painting them up as great human tragedies, but we all know the function of the media has never been to eliminate the evils of the world.
No! Their job is to persuade us to accept those evils and get used to living with them.
The powers that be want us to be passive observers.
And they haven't given us any other options outside the occasional purely symbolic participatory act of voting.
You want the puppet on the right or the puppet on the left?
I feel the time has come to project my own inadequacies and dissatisfactions into the socio-political and scientific schemes.
Let my own lack of a voice be heard.

(He pours gasoline all over himself and lights himself on fire.)


An intensely great quote. I love this movie, Seriosly. everyone go out and rent it or something right now.

So that post was totaly pointless. So ill leave off with another photography thing

A no tresspassing sign by the railroad tracks

This pain has made it hard to breath...

As you probably can tell by now. my titles have nothing to do with the actual post and are lines from songs i like and dont mean anything unless you pick it apart and be all intellectual. So chances are if theres a relation i didnt mean for it. But if there is ill probably explain it

Anyways, i don't understand why people are so vocal about slagging off one another because they are into something that you're not, i'm speaking more from a musical viewpoint more than anything.
If we can appreciate our diversity in our race, colour, etc and clearly can see that no two people are the same why then are we so close minded?
I hate it when people bash a type of music because its something they dont normally listen to and then refuse to listen to it. If you dont like it. thats fine, just dont generalise everything.
The principals are the same, why can't we just appreciate something for what it is?
I'm not even going to try to apply this to anything outside of music because it gets so complicated there, but i will say this...
In an effort to form an opinion on big matters are we ever going to know the absolute truth about things unless you know what's going on firsthand?
Even then does that justify that your reasoning is right?
Maybe i should stop there before i start getting into stuff i don't know anything about...


Anyways. Photography of the day...my old guitar against my amp. Horrah...

Good News For People Who Love Bad News.

I'm a nice girl. A good girl. A caring for strangers girl.
I can take a lot of crap from a lot of people a lot of the time. But in the month of September and october, I expect the crap to go my way. Just for those months, I demand that people think only of me.
Even people I don't know and people I will never know. Is it fair? Is it reasonable? Ask me in September or october, and I'll tell you that you should shut up directly and think thrice before asking me such insane questions.
Ill tolerate Halloween only because its older than me, its at the end of the month, and sometimes I'm up for a haunted house or two (which, I suspect, were created solely for my personal satisfaction. You guys can thank me for haunted houses anytime, though. You don't have to wait until October.)
But like Halloween has delicious candy, Thanksgiving has delicious everything. So ill tolerate that as well ( thanksgivings in october right?)
I expect the skies to be clear, unless I'm in the mood for cloudy weather
I expect never to run out of gasoline, to magically find money in my pockets, and for my hair to always look delicious, yes, delicious, without having to do anything to it.
I expect to get smarter without trying and I expect to have any number of small good things happen to me - just because!


Haha...yeah right. Man wouldnt life be sweet if it ran like that though. But seriosly I have been taking alot of crap from people lately. But i dont expect any of the above to happen although that would be pretty sweet.

Anyways. You might be asking yourself. hey steph. Why the two posts in one day? To that , this is my reply. Because i have no life.

Me and Stacey went into starbucks this evening after me and my dad went in this afternoon. to complete the number of 3 starbucks coffee's for me today.
I had a caramel frappacino, caramel machiattio, and and iced caramel machiatto.... lol. i decided to try every caramel thing there.
Anywho. as me and stacey were sitting there. This guy turns to us and says. Hey girls. wanna watch my coffee i forgot to lock up my bike.
We said sure and just sat there doing nothing. And he comes back says thanks not knowing we didnt do anything.
So a few minutes later he turns to us and says. "Hey do you girls wanna go see my dads car ( this guys like 45 by the way )
So by now me and stacey are pretty freaked out as he reaches into his back pocket.
To our relife he pulls out a picture of it. and hands it to us. and says all this junk about cars that i dont understand.
When hes done rambling i shoot a glance at stacey and say. hey....its about time to go lets just drive around ok bye. And ran.
kind...of frightening

Yep... old men DO scare me.

Heres another photography of the day...because im bored

its jess by the old beer gardens at the baseball diamonds

If you've lost your faith in love and music the end wont be long...

Ahhh....Back from camp.

It was a tough week but tons of fun. God stretched me in a few ways.

Having Carrie Katie Jaclynne and Ness in my cabin was really good. those girls are so much fun. they were really outgoing which made it super fun.
Me and carrie kind of had a little war going on with laurels cabin. lol there cabin cheer was
"we are sandpiper
we dont wear diapers
we all drive vipers
we are sandpiper"
So we made a cheer to say back to them and it went like this
"Hey sandpiper,
We dont see your vipers
But we sure see your diapers
OOOOH SNAP!"
Haha...yeah were cool. admit it

I miss everyone so much. Im actually gonna try keeping up some camp relationships and call people this time to do something cause it sucked last year when i didnt.

One good thing about camp too. I was not craving music as much as i did before. Because for some reason they put me in mountain biking again. And we just sent the kids out on scavenger hunts and stuff because we were lazy and zach was in the shop always playing awesome music. so that was a huge relife.

So school starts on wensday.....boo and yay.
Lots of people are saying it was their best year and it went by really fast. so I hope thats true.
Last first day of school ever. Got all my supplys. So I hope it goes just as fast as the summer did

Haha. while getting my school supplys. I had such a craving for starbucks the whole week so i went in this afternoon and got 2... just for me. haha. im so unhealthy

and for the last random comment of the day. I really wanna go to the underoath concert. Does anyone want to come with me? I was gonna go with laurel but i dont know how im gonna meet up with her. So if anyone wants to come tell me

Quote of the week:

What the duece!?


Photography of the day


Its Carrie!... on...leopky! ....hoorah

I need to keep spinning.im practicing for the ch-maj-pionships
-Andrew Kessler


NOOOOOO! i honestly wrote up EVERYTHING and my internet deicded to turn off for no reason whatsoever...so this is a very condensed version of what i wrote
I might elaborate later if anyone is intrested


Redberry staff windup

lots of food

Bonfire. dug a hole and lit it on fire. dug a trench, set that on fire. flung flaming peices of sand around ( note: all done by zach carsten and ryan... not me lol )

Hottub

Hung out for 3 hours in a cabin with Andrew Teri Steven and Eric lol. where it was halarious because andrew was half asleep and making no sense if his life depended on it. I also learned alot about girls...from a guy , lol weird

Attempted to watch the sunrise with zach, steph, teri, and...other people who i cant remeber their names. gave up and went inside for a bit

Finished watching the sunrise with Zach and Steph and Teri

Complained of how tired and hungry we were until we all left

But heres a glimpse into the halarity. dun dun dun dun.....QUOTES!


Andrew- Which way do i spin better guys?Left or right?
Steven- Uh...left
Andrew- OK! *spins around*

I gotta keep spinning im practicing for the chmajpionchips
- Andrew

All you haveta do to figure out the magority. is figure out the minority
- Andrew

Ugh, im giving birth to a pig and it coming out my belly button
- Steph ( no not me )

Man, i thought there was a man with a beard staring at us through the window, Then i realized it was a curtain
- Me

Steven - Try spinning left and right at the same time
Andrew- Thats too hard!

If I had a stick. I would SO be poking that fire right now
- Me

Marlen *shouts from pool because they were uhm...mini nipping.. i guess* GIRLS! stay in your cabin!
Steven- ....ok!



ok...thats quite enough. lol see you in a week.

Me and carrie are definatly in a cabin with ness jaclynne and katie. its going to be a BLAST!



Zach... i still have a craving for mennonite sausage, perogies and BBQ'd corn on the cob. Thats gonna last for months. *grumbles*

Two of us, Flipping through a thrift store magazine. It's Indie rock'n'roll for me...

So my big news is I didn't even get to ride with no seatbelts...not even in the motor home! I was so mad.
I had to go with my brother because there were too many flowers in the back and I came home early because the reception was a gong show.
The groom and the best man were wasted by 8 and I had to take care of their kid the whole time and during the span of like..an hour and he puked on me twice. It was nice, I love smelling like rotting milk
*everyone take a note of that for future referance*

But yeah, I don't want kids.
Honestly.
There not all cute bowls of sugar and candy all the time. Oh no.

More often than not they are not-very-cute bowls of puke and poop with a lot of grumpiness
sprinkled all over the top.

I dont think i could take a kid crying and grunting all the time because you dont know what the heck they want.
And as they try to communicate with gurgles and screams they are puking and all that jazz for however long until it takes them to learn how to walk and talk.

Thats when the terror begins.
Screaming machines that have no decrease in energy.
They go everywhere they arent supposed to go and you have to be chasing after them before they crack there heads open on something.
*takes a breath*

I like other peoples kids. As long as I dont have to take care of them or take them home.

Anyways. Heres the comic of the day and (2) photos of the day cause i missed last time



















These were both taken at that freaky gas station i mentioned...a long time ago across the railroad tracks in Dalmeny

Is this what they call love on a saturday night?...


Poop.
Redberry called me back and they have no room for me.
Oh well.
Im kind of excited for this wedding tomorow, I get to ride there in a motorhome . I've always wanted to drive somewhere and sit at a table at the same time without the restraints of a seatbelt.

Anywho CARRIES BACK TODAY!!( or tonight). I miss her a whole bunch:(
I also miss florida now im thinking of it. But I miss carrie more. I hope shes back earlier tonight so i can see her or else i wont be able to for another week

And braden got his license!! congrats ( even though you dont read this )
. Now all thats left is jess * shoots a glare in her direction *lol

anywho..heres another comic... enjoy

P.S. Everyone try the phili steak pizza at panago pizza, Its A- Freaking- Mazing

Sigmund

Ok. So i think i might be going back to camp on Sunday to go work on work crew. It depends if they call back tomorow or not. I hope I get in.

Im going to be at a wedding on saturday... hoorah.
Actually i think it will be kind of fun. Its outside and iv never been to an outdoor wedding. I hope its nice out, if its not im going to be very angry

Anyways..thats my small blurb and I am too lazy to think of a random story so ill just tell you a true one


The reason why i never write down any of my dreams anymore:
One morning i woke up and found a peice of paper, And written in half asleep chicken scratch was
"Rick Ruben and his 5 foot comb"
My initial reaction was ...what in the world... Then i thought who is this rick ruben charachter...so decided to google it and this is what i found:


# 1.....aaah thats a little creepy..apparantly hes a music producer...
#2 Why do i have no reccolection of this man or his 5 foot comb?. let alone this dream.. It seems i would have woken up screaming...but i guess not


im also gonna have ANOTHER new trend until the resources run out cause i lost my camera...but photography of the day ( or so )


This was taken in the field kind of behind the elementry school on some cut wheat around last year sometime. i dont really remember.

I disabled the comments on the post below.. cause some...blog spam? ( i didnt know there was such a thing ) i presume was being sent to me.
I dont know if its going to do it again but as for now. if you have comments on that praticular post just comment on this one

At Colins request...

Colin says this kind of humor has to be spread out the world so I am going to start putting my comics on here if I can manage to download hello.
I also used to write really weird stories/poems. So ill be posting one a-time i post.


So for today. Im going to put a normal one i wrote for art.

I wish life had background music

If Hollywood has taught me anything
It is to expect my days to be filled with background music
It would account for my tragically boring, soap opera of a life

Iv always wanted background music
It would play wherever i would go
Every moment would feel like a movie
There would be no reason to skip songs
For this is the soundtrack of your life

You would always know when something bad was going to happen
It would also make those exciting moments
That much more exciting
No more awkward silences
Just awkward beats
Silence would no longer be golden

Think if you could insert laugh tracks
To save you from your lame jokes
There would be songs for the sad times
Mad times, and even the glad times

But until that time comes
I'll just wear my headphones


Song reccomendaiton for the day : The Strokes - Under control
-----------------------------------------------
EDIT : turns out i didnt need to download hello...so heres the comic of the day


Shoot it scanned wonky...well its supposed to say this would be WAY cooler if i was wearing short shorts

So, I noticed there are alot of ladies in the crowd....


Yeah so I wrote half of this up and my computer decided to shut off. So here i go again


Me and Jess went to the ex today.
We got in line for the ferris wheel only to find out i needed to get my card traded in for a wrist band. why they wouldnt do that when you came in confuses me. so we hadta go in the ticket line twice.
Then when i got on the ferris wheel i sat in a puddle...hoorah

Then I think we went to go eat some greasy pizza and spudnuts and proceeded to the funhouse

There i got hit on by a freaky carnie who smelled of cabbage.
So he grabs my arm to scan my wristband..pulls me in closer and says. Hey, How YOU doin'
So all freaked out im like...uh...good. then walked away really fast

Nothing but clowns scares me more than carnies. seriosly. either overly skinny or overly overwieght men with cigarretes hanging out of their mouths . arms covered with tattoes staring at people as they go by " hey...wanna ride" and they stink of cabbage. I swear. That or sweat. Ew...*shudders*

ANYWAYS. off to line up for the Kalan Porter concert....an hour before the gates open... Were cool. So we met up with Travis and he proceded to tell us how cool we were until we got in. But in that time 3 people came up and talked to us
"your really going to see this concert"
"do you think your actually going to like it"
"why are you lined up so early"
and when we got in we had to wait for an hour and 45 minutes. we were on the floor and we could have waited for another 2 hours and still got the same spot. But it was fun.
I had the hiccups and Jess was getting annoyed she also pointed out I drank like 3 things in an hour.

So the concert starts and i swear. The screams were louder than the music. But he did suprisngly well. His band was freaking amazing. But me and Jess thought the guitar player was a chick...what...he was wearing pink and had hair longer than mine!...anyways Kalan is insane on the violin. my favorite was the devil went down to georgia. SO good.

But anyways. Half way through the concert hes like "So, i noticed there are alot of ladies in the crowd" So me and jess said to ourselves " No theres not! hes lieing! lets break his legs"
Then he said " is anyone out there single" And at that point i think my eardrums broke
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IM SINGLE KALAN PICK ME!!
it was ...halarious to say in the least

So overall the concert was pretty good i had fun

Then the bus ride to the Roberts car...oh the bus ride...
Honestly. Why do the most surreal things happen to me on a bus.
So first we get there. Theres no driver. So we sit down anyways. She comes and takes off. seemingly really fast for a bus.
Then we proceed to drive down streets i dont recognize that felt like a speed we shouldnt be going. And i can hear a person on the radio in the background talking to the bus driver... i dont know why that was weird but trust me... it was
And a man farted...that was sick
so this ensues for a while until i hear a thump then i feel something wet on my face.
By now everyones looking around seeing what the heck it was. And i see green all over the place. then i see a fruit. Lying on the ground. Yes...somebody threw a fruit...into a bus....while we were driving....
So by now me and Jess are wanting to wake up and we drive into this empty parking lot. do a circle. Come out and stop at the bus stop
Me and Jess run to the car. and the surrealism doesnt stop. I look at jess and the way the light is hittting her it looks like a dream. And her parents...well were just surreal and i cant even explain it. it had to do with a cellphone though.
then we stopped at the post office....at 11 at night....
then finally i was home.

Thats it for my... weird...weird day sorry if it makes no sense whatsoever. i had fun

Sugar we're going down...

Today... i'll tell you what i dislike:

> People with a general blah-attitude about everything (ie. not passionate about anything)
> Back in the day (and still existent) when those tricky people come up from behind you, put their hands over your eyes and then says in a disguised voice, "guess who!"
> hearing birds chirp when it's bedtime
> Ignorant people
> People who dont have an open mind
> When people are really loud at like...2 Am
> When people forget to turn off their turn signal
> People who dont use their turn signal at all
> Small talk
> People who wear band shirts and dont even listen to that band
> Plastic wrappings on Cd's
> People who claim to be punk but they are really not, and its obviose
> Elvis impersonaters and the people who pay to see them
> Rap "music"
> People who carry around skateboards and dont even use them
> Repetative songs
> When the radio starts fuzzing and losing reception and the driver doesnt change the station
> People who lip sync in concerts
> People who try to act and look rebellious ( kinda falls in with punk )
> Thin guitar picks
> Being the last person to find out about literally everything possible in my family



Man i have alot of dislikes... I need a life. lol


Nicole

01. Comment with your name, and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie reminds me of you.
03. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
04. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
05. Then I'll tell you my silliest memory of you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.


--------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Nicole is a great person who is younger than me. ha.
anyways. shes great and crazy and i love her. i wish we could hang out more your crazy

2. Movie - Thirteen ( because i saw it with you )
Song - Lover i dont have to love - Bright eyes

3. Outgoing

4. Visiting that creepy gas station haha

5. Hahaha...Backstreet boys + inflatable matresses + videocameras = halarious

6. A cat...i dont know why

7. Why we dont hang out more...but thats...not so much about you so...why...you...i dont know

Jess

01. Comment with your name, and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie reminds me of you.
03. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
04. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
05. Then I'll tell you my silliest memory of you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Jess is a girl who is my age ( older in fact ) and is one of my very best friends. We have alot of things in common including our musical and movie taste. Thats basically all we do when we hang out anyways. she is one tubular gal *hang ten*

2. Movie : Donnie Darko
Song: Any Whitestripes song basically

3. Different ( in a good way )

4. Probably in carries living room when I was doing dancing Jan. Or when you told me you were going to get baptized

5. When we made up how Im going to pick up guys.

6. A giraffe. Because you like them...and i got you one in florida... a stuffed one

7. What kind of guy you are gonna end up with because you like very diffrent ones

I dont get it

A MUSICAL BATON

Total volume of music files on my computer:Too much as jess said...wait..not too much. NEVER too much. But in other words. i dont know

last CD I bought was: You know.. i dont really remember i think it was autumn tides or something

Song playing right now: First day of my life - Bright eyes

Five songs I listen to a lot, or that mean a lot to me:
Is this what they call love - The Thills
Waste of paint - Bright eyes
First day of my life - Bright eyes
Gel- Collective soul
Another travelling song - Bright eyes

Five people to whom I'm passing the baton:
Nicole
Janelle
Christine
Ally
Teri

-----01. Comment with your name, and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie reminds me of you.
03. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
04. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
05. Then I'll tell you my silliest memory of you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your blog.




----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well that was remotly confusing. But thats alright

So i just got in from a family gathering. Meeting my cousins wife and kid.
It was ALOT more fun then i expected.
I met this girl that is honestly exactly like me. she even says "your face"
everyones like. man i cant even tell you two apart. and her dad was hilarious.
" if i ever made a microwave commerical it would be like..."when would YOU like to eat? Today? Tomorow? SUPER TURBO MICROWAVE-O-MATIC!!! get one now"

but yeah..im home...*waves*

These are the words of the unsophisticated money machines...


"Popstars" - Rooney

Hey Baby you've hit me again one more time
You said bye bye bye bye bye good bye
Well I don't want to be with you tonight, forever

Do you understand my monologue?
These are the words of the Popstars
These are the words of the unsophisticated money machines
,For the killers of rock and roll.

Hey digital you're nothing but a b*** on strings
You'll be milking cows before you cash the check
Well I'll just wait aroud till you fade away like the rest
Like the best of the best

Do you understand my monologue?
These are the words of the Popstars
These are the words of the unsophisticated money machines,
For the killers of rock and roll.


That song is kind of a rant for mainstream music. For video girls like Brittany Spears. The people that i loath. lol. *shudders*

I love this song. everyone go listen to it


But anyways... I've watched..ALOT of movies this week, Wow. Im not even going to try to remember them all
one i remember is the jacket . Everyone see it! SO GOOD! i absolutly loved it.

So im going up to the lake on like..Monday or Tuesday. That should be fun Jess might come with me. hoorah

But anyways..sorry for the sentances just kinda vommited on there. I didnt feel like putting them in coherant thoughts. Deal with it lol

as you can see. i have recently put a music video on here... if you dont want it on. press stop. that is all.

enjoy

EDIT:

Wow...THAT ended bladly... im trying to put it on a post...and its also ending badly. and its screwing up my page lol. if anyone knows how please tell me


On another note. i specifically told myself i wouldnt go to bed at 2 tonight...yeah...its 2 :20....
i lose.
Welp...I know what IM doing...taking half a step...to my bed....because its only half a step away...to my bed...goodnight

I wanna go back to the time when we were 5 years old

I wish I was a kid again. Seriosly.
Kids are so free. I wish I thought the world existed of only my family and my mom still did everything for me.
That was the life.

Never had any worries because you had nothing to worry about. i wish i could go back to the time where i could play with lego and not get strange looks.

Why am I on this tangent?
As sad as it seems. My dad is practicly forcing me to get a job at food town. I keep telling him theres nothing availibal there but hes forcing me to apply.
I know, I know. Im going into grade 12. its about time right? No its not a laziness thing but if im going to spend the rest of my life working. Why start when I dont have to?

I just really, really dont want to apply there. I really dont. I want to work with him like the plan was for the summer. But no, he bring this up out of the wazoo.

Ugh...to be 5 again.

im young, im hip, a ticka ticka ticka ticka



Im back from camp. Again.
It was tons of fun but also annoying and draining.

So I get there. and before hand i knew Mo was my senior counceller which was sweet. But then i found out that i got put in the skill.......mountain biking... Yeah.... talk about getting crappy skills huh?
But anyways i was in it with Mo so it was ALOT of fun. I thought I would get sick of her but I didnt.
We had some of the coolest kids in that skill. But a couple really annoying kids.. one with ADHD. It was pretty funny cause we got him to be quiet for 37 minutes cause we said we would give him a leaf. it was pretty impressive

I have like a billion stories but im gonna leave off with one story and a bunch of quotes

So there was this kid named matthew in my third skill. And he is the most accident prone person iv EVER met.
He would come every day with a new cut or something and one day he came with two. One on his leg and one across his head. So i ask him.
"matt...what did you do this time"
"I fell on my skateboard...then on my way to the nurse... i ran into a tree"
#1- Why is this child skateboarding
#2-.... on the WAY to the nurses office..

And when we were biking on the beach he would fall over literally every 3 seconds. it was sweet


Ok now here are some quotes

What?, Im young, Im hip *starts going "aticka ticka ticka" and doing the macarana*
-Jordan

Oooooh what a freeeeze
-Jordan

K chad... if your quiet for 5 minutes we'll give you a leaf..no wait. a GOLDEN leaf
-Dylan

I hate spelling bee's, Its like "alright class its time for public humiliation everyone line up. spell a word wrong and sit in front of your friends"
-Brian Regan ( a comedian we listened to on cd )

THATS something a mother wants to see. Her son dancing in a dress. He HAD to do this on parents night didnt he?
-Me

thats bogus
-Gregs cabin...all week

* I walk out of bathroom *
*bunch of my campers from last year are standing outside...they all start clapping*
Yay! thats right folks its her first time on her own.


Heh... i love fans
- me


I dont know i cant really think of anything else. ask me for stories and Ill tell you them

I got soul but im not a soldier...
The Killers - All these things that iv done

This has proved to be a boring week. I miss my friends
Not that theres anything wrong with him. But Braden is the only person Iv got to hang out with this week. I swear theres nothing wrong I just miss my other friends too . lol

Although, I did go swimming at riversdale pool and my aunties house and went mini golfing with my cousins
I hung out with Ally on...some night. I forget. But we went to kyles baseball game which they got silver in and they get to go to provincals. It was fun

I also went up to redberry for a stereotrap concert on wensday with braden which was tons of fun. He has lots of trust
Me:"Hey...yeah iv never driven on gravel at night...let alone at night at all"
Braden: "Oh well"
Haha...speaking of that. Me and my mom forgot to go get my class 5 little...licence slip thing after I got my licence so I technically drove illegally to Redberry....and everywhere I drove since monday up to today.

Do you ever put on your headphones and pretend not to hear someone? Even if theres no music playing?
I do.

Its a beautiful day...


I GOT MY LICENCE!!

So I got that guy who took me out an hour before and i reccomend one of those to everyone. He was weird. but he helped.
He sounded as if he didnt expect me to pass.
So i go in. And as im waiting EVERYONE who comes in failed so im thinking. Well crap.

So its my turn we pull out and i haveta slam on the breaks in order to not run through a red. but im right on the crosswalk. Inside my head i yell CRAP! well... i failed. This is stupid the first thing i could have possibly done and i failed.
I keep going. I suck up my first 2 paralell parks real bad. but the third one I did sweet so he didnt count the first 2. I did really good other than that but i thought those killed me

Hes sitting with me in my car after saying everything I did wrong and i was thinking " just shut up i know i failed and i wanna go home" So i kinda blocked him out until he said " i saw what you did on the road other then those things and you handled everything well ...so i put this as a pass...but practice your parralell parks"
I ended up with 9 off...yeah....9. lol

So like the idiot i am I stare at him. Blank faced and say" are you seriose" I slowly get a grin and say" Wow...THANKS!" So i practically skip all the way to SGI and tell my mom and i was all giddy and everyone in there was laughing at me

Boy it feels good. Hoorah

Stay off the roads....

im going for my license in an hour

AUUUGH im so nervous. My stomach is full of vomiting butterflies. I hope I pass

I will have an update as soon as i can after i get back

WISH ME LUCK

Love is real. It is not just in novels or the movies, It is fact And it is standing here right in front of you
Kathy with a K's song - Bright eyes

I havent done a list in a while.
So im gonna do another one about things you may or may not know about me

1. I procrastinate about folding laundry more than any other household chore
2. When i turn 18 I dont plan to vote
3. I am inspired by music on a daily basis
4. I'm afraid of stuff in the water (microbes, fish, coral, etc)
5. I can be extremly obsessive compulsive sometimes ( i like to organize things belive it or not )
6. I still have vinyl records
7. I dont really want to have kids
8. I trip over things alot
9. Breakfast is my least favorite meal of the day
10. My internal clock and get pretty screwed up sometimes
11. Im a night person
12. Im a huge fan of british humor
13. Im not as smart as the majority of my friends. Im alright with that
14. I have a weird sense of humor few people share
15. Id love to learn how to play drums but i dont think i have that much coordination
16. I dont have air conditioning
17. I hate the radio
18. I play guitar
19. Some people say i have small hands.. I dont think so. Maybe its because theirs are big
20. I love being outside more than inside
21. I would sleep outside every night if i could
22. I keep my cd's in order of my preferance
23. I have an overactive imagination
24. I love to watch people. not in a creepy way. But watch them go by in a mall
25. I’ve been known to do or say things to get a reaction out of people, just to see how they will respond
26. I’m drawn to people I perceive as strange or odd.
27. I have a habit of cracking my shoulders, neck, back and ankles
28. My instinct about people is usually right, even when I choose to ignore it
29. I use my super powers for good, always
30. I pretty much hate reality TV
31. Im in love with the idea of being in love
32. I think too much
33. I'm a window seat person
34. I have brown eyes, But i wish i had green ones. I love rich vibrant green eyes
35. I love a good intellectual and/or philosophical conversation. I rarely get one


Wow. that took a while
I hope that was intresting

These things take forever I especially am slow

so its...remotly late. not really but thats ok. and im listening to music
One of my favorite songs actually. Its extremly cute and I THINK I'm going to share the lyrics with you

its called first day of my life by bright eyes and if youve never heard it. hear it NOW one way or another


This is the first day of my life
I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach

Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don’t know where I am I don’t know where I’ve been
But I know where I want to go
And so I thought I’d let you know
That these things take foreverI especially am slow
But I realize that I need you And I wondered if I could come home

Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange you said everything changed
You felt as if you had just woke up And you said
“this is the first day of my life
I’m glad I didn’t die before I met you
But now I don’t care I could go anywhere with you
And I’d probably be happy”

So if you want to be with me
With these things there’s no telling
We just have to wait and see
But I’d rather be working for a paycheck
Then waiting to win the lottery

Besides maybe this time is different
I mean I really think you like me


Ok so now thats done. My cousins have moved in for the summer one took over my room and theyre bored already. I feel so bad.
I dont know what they can do. I thought i would bring one to youth tonight but we got there and it was cancelled.
so if anyone has any ideas of what a 10 and 12 year old can do around here...please tell me

my final thought of the night. I like the movie Garden State. You might not but i suggest you try it. its a bit hard to follow but its really good and cute.

Aw I wanna live with that kid. I should ask if I could take him on timeshare

Im back from camp! It was SO much fun.
The first day I was kinda like. Well ok, I dont wanna be here. Then as the first day rolled by it was amazing.
It stormed 3 times 2 of which had hail. that was super cool and there was a bunch of flooding.
It was basically just 4 days packed with sessions and hanging out.
We had a team building activity where we each hadta build a car out of cardboard. and at the end she asked where we got our idea and marlin was gonna say " well I thoguht so myself. If Jesus had to build a cardboard car. im sure this is what it would look like" then some other girl beat him to it and gave a crappy explanation.

Then there was the 80's dress up supper that we didnt know about until hours before. and suprisingly people had stuff to wear.
it was really ironic.

And lastly cause i think im boring you. I will tell you about my most surreal experince of my life.

So on the last day we were going up to a diffrent lake to go swimming when we already were AT a lake.
That was weird in itself
Then. All the girls get onto this schoolbus...an old...smelly...unstable schoolbus. Im thinking to myself. " what in the world are we doing"
And if it couldnt get any weirder. Picture someone like Kelly bitner. getting into the drivers seat ( for those of you who know tim bariwald thats who was driving ) And so im thinking to myself. Ok this is weird AND were gonna die.
so we get on this gravel road....on a schoolbus...to go to a lake when we are already at one and the back end starts swaying a bit as we speed over hills...in saskatchewan.
So i look over to kerri and she says to me. " you know. if i had a blog i would blog about this cause this is really surreal"
So i did

Im gonna also end off with a list of quotes from this weekend
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Toby: you know 7/5ths of people cant do fractions
Kristin: Wow. Thats like...over half!

Josh: hmm what does this say * runs hand over part of blanket that has writing*
Me: Uhm..........Your uh...stroking my leg

Toby: want some yarba
Jolenne: that looks like my dogs poo

( not really a quote but also very surreal. ironicly also iuncluding tim bariwald)
Me: *looks out window...sees its raining really hard then sees tim with a conaoe paddle in his hand walking by paddling past the window*

Zach Lucky: What?! PISS!?. YOU LIKE THE WORD PISS!

Zach Lucky: AAH she wants to kick me in the entrance! get away from me you pervert!

Wendy: I wanna play wallo pollo

Mark: I wanna take zach nightengale out on timeshare and have him as my roommate

Zach Lucky: HEY you have to do it! i played the peer pressure card!, I PLAYED THE CARD!! DO IT! DO IT!

off to camp tomorow! farewell everyone until tuesday.