Monday, March 26, 2007
truth in song form
Yet I have a hard time remembering all the things that I should remember. And a hard time forgetting the all things that I am supposed forget
- mewithoutyou - carousels
- mewithoutyou - carousels
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Sunday, March 18, 2007
JET LAAAAAAG!!!!
Iv had the same feeling in the pit of my stomach literally 24/7 for the last 2 weeks.
I dont know if its the good anxious or the bad anxious. or maybe my stomach knows in advance that my socks are going to get blown off to the moon and my head just doesnt realize it yet.
This whole thing is so surreal I cant belive im actually leaving in 10 days. leaving everything i know and everything im comfortable with behind and jumping head first into a world i know nothing about with no one i know around me. and its kind of exciting.
Although, Im not sure how im supposed to feel about a certain person having an intrest in being with me only because im leaving, they never made an effort before when they should have. even this effort is a pretty sad attempt. theyve had forever to try to get to know me. why awkwardly rob me of my few days left in Canada with sad attempts to bond?
*sigh*
I dont know what to do with myself. im more stressed out then iv ever been in my entire existance of living and its awesome
I dont know if its the good anxious or the bad anxious. or maybe my stomach knows in advance that my socks are going to get blown off to the moon and my head just doesnt realize it yet.
This whole thing is so surreal I cant belive im actually leaving in 10 days. leaving everything i know and everything im comfortable with behind and jumping head first into a world i know nothing about with no one i know around me. and its kind of exciting.
Although, Im not sure how im supposed to feel about a certain person having an intrest in being with me only because im leaving, they never made an effort before when they should have. even this effort is a pretty sad attempt. theyve had forever to try to get to know me. why awkwardly rob me of my few days left in Canada with sad attempts to bond?
*sigh*
I dont know what to do with myself. im more stressed out then iv ever been in my entire existance of living and its awesome
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
2 weeks left ( 15 days )
So...I leave on the 28th.
If anyones intrested I leave at 9:10 am on march 28th. from the saskatoon airport. and get back 4:20 * snicker * ( or something ) on september 5th
See the thing is. Im done work on friday, so that leaves the remainder of the time for me to get my crapola together and visit people I wont see in a while . And generally most of these days are already booked with my last shinanigans with friends before I go away ( expecially the weekends ). So, if you guys want. make your reservations with me now. haha
but seriously. Leave a comment on which day/time works best for you and ill fit you in hopefully, or even call me if you wish.
I want to see everyone. i repeat EVERYONE before I go. so if you read this PLEASE comment if you want to hang out before I leave for Oz, mmKAY!?
If anyones intrested I leave at 9:10 am on march 28th. from the saskatoon airport. and get back 4:20 * snicker * ( or something ) on september 5th
See the thing is. Im done work on friday, so that leaves the remainder of the time for me to get my crapola together and visit people I wont see in a while . And generally most of these days are already booked with my last shinanigans with friends before I go away ( expecially the weekends ). So, if you guys want. make your reservations with me now. haha
but seriously. Leave a comment on which day/time works best for you and ill fit you in hopefully, or even call me if you wish.
I want to see everyone. i repeat EVERYONE before I go. so if you read this PLEASE comment if you want to hang out before I leave for Oz, mmKAY!?
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
mewithoutYou > Connor Oberst ( im sorry )
Raaaah i know these are song lyrics. but for real. They are the best song lyrics iv ever heard EVER.
Not one motion of her gesture could I forget
The prettiest bag lady I ever met
Pushing her cart in the rain
Then gathering plastic and glass
She watched the day pass
Not hour by hour
But pain by pain
If I was a basket filled with holes
Then she was the sand I tried to hold
And ran out behind me
As I swung with some invisible hands
I stopped believing, you start to move
She was like wine turned to water then turned back to wine
I stopped my leaving and the better man bloomed
And you can pour us out and we won't mind
I was dead, then alive
She was like wine turned to water and turned back to wine
You can pour us out, we won't mind
A scratch around the mouth of the glass
My life is no longer mine
If you're still looking for a blanket
Sweetie, I'm sorry, I'm no sort of fabric
But if you need a tailor
Then take your torn shirt, and stumble up my stairs
And mumble your pitiful prayers
And in your tangled night's sleep, our midnight needles go to work
Until all comfort and fear flows in one river
Down on the shelf by the mirror where you see yourself whole
And it makes you shiver
Our lives are not our own
Even the wind lays still
All I felt was fire and cold
And movement, movement
If they ask you for a sign of the Father
Tell them it's movement, movement and repose
Not one motion of her gesture could I forget
The prettiest bag lady I ever met
Pushing her cart in the rain
Then gathering plastic and glass
She watched the day pass
Not hour by hour
But pain by pain
If I was a basket filled with holes
Then she was the sand I tried to hold
And ran out behind me
As I swung with some invisible hands
I stopped believing, you start to move
She was like wine turned to water then turned back to wine
I stopped my leaving and the better man bloomed
And you can pour us out and we won't mind
I was dead, then alive
She was like wine turned to water and turned back to wine
You can pour us out, we won't mind
A scratch around the mouth of the glass
My life is no longer mine
If you're still looking for a blanket
Sweetie, I'm sorry, I'm no sort of fabric
But if you need a tailor
Then take your torn shirt, and stumble up my stairs
And mumble your pitiful prayers
And in your tangled night's sleep, our midnight needles go to work
Until all comfort and fear flows in one river
Down on the shelf by the mirror where you see yourself whole
And it makes you shiver
Our lives are not our own
Even the wind lays still
All I felt was fire and cold
And movement, movement
If they ask you for a sign of the Father
Tell them it's movement, movement and repose
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Where everything was beautiful and nothing hurt
I was alive like this once. belive it or not, and now times turned me into something dead and unsatisfying like wine turned into water.
I long for that freedom and ignorance again. And not the bad kind of ignorance either. It was a beautiful thing.
And so you'll be to me. My memories of childhood, When I was once free
I long for that freedom and ignorance again. And not the bad kind of ignorance either. It was a beautiful thing.
And so you'll be to me. My memories of childhood, When I was once free
Friday, March 02, 2007
3, 2, 1 liftoff..... In 35 days.
Im sick and im tired. Literally.
Im sick and im tired. Figurativly
Im sick and tired of this painfully slow and at the same time ultra hyper-speed waiting game that leaves my stomach doing triple backflips whenever the thought of leaving crosses my mind. Or is it the thought of NOT leaving. Probably.
Im just about ready to leave this snowy unwonderland and go to my paradise forever. no strings attached. I want to arrive in my plane, get over jet lag and give my stomach a rest and sleep easy knowing im finally there. I just want everything to be taken care of well before I leave.
I did get my passport in the mail today. which I wasnt expecting.
Somehow I cant shake a phrase Les once said to me from my mind, Theres probably a reason for that....
And I know your all probably thinking " OH steph! at least you get to go!" But you get a little impatient when you've been waiting over a year for where your going to be in a little over a month ( hopefully ) And its expecially stressful because you didnt get to go last time.
On another note. Isnt it awesome I only get 1/2 hour to myself today which will be spent packing for a youth retreat at camp Kadesh this weekend? Yee hoo. Did someone say only female sponsor!?
Thats ok though. Im actually kind of looking forward to it. I might be able to polish up on my "photography skillz" and all you more than patient people will finally get to see some new stuff from me.
Besides. Those kids can be fun.
Im sick and im tired. Figurativly
Im sick and tired of this painfully slow and at the same time ultra hyper-speed waiting game that leaves my stomach doing triple backflips whenever the thought of leaving crosses my mind. Or is it the thought of NOT leaving. Probably.
Im just about ready to leave this snowy unwonderland and go to my paradise forever. no strings attached. I want to arrive in my plane, get over jet lag and give my stomach a rest and sleep easy knowing im finally there. I just want everything to be taken care of well before I leave.
I did get my passport in the mail today. which I wasnt expecting.
Somehow I cant shake a phrase Les once said to me from my mind, Theres probably a reason for that....
And I know your all probably thinking " OH steph! at least you get to go!" But you get a little impatient when you've been waiting over a year for where your going to be in a little over a month ( hopefully ) And its expecially stressful because you didnt get to go last time.
On another note. Isnt it awesome I only get 1/2 hour to myself today which will be spent packing for a youth retreat at camp Kadesh this weekend? Yee hoo. Did someone say only female sponsor!?
Thats ok though. Im actually kind of looking forward to it. I might be able to polish up on my "photography skillz" and all you more than patient people will finally get to see some new stuff from me.
Besides. Those kids can be fun.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
And now for something completly diffrent (Some questions to entertain)
Its been quite a while since a normal post, no?
Lately Iv been asking myself alot of questions. Asking other people questions and most of all asking God questions. and im never really expecting an answer from any of them. Most of them I dont even want answers to.
Why have I been so greatly blessed with such good friends, good times, and most of all good people who care? I totally dont deserve it.
Where has the time gone?Why is it that when you want time to slow down almost to a stop, life throws you into hyper speed? Even though im looking forward to Australia I just want life to slow down for a second so I can clear my head and appreciate what I wont have when im gone.
Why am I doing daycare? I hate other peoples kids, What a stupid idea.
Why cant I ever say how I feel? Maybe its the fact no one asks. Maybe its the fact that people have but I can never sense they really care.
Why would i ignore something as important as whats best for me? Why would I choose rest over healing? Why would I choose an extra hour of sleep over renewal? Dont ask me. Im an Anderson.
Why why why why why does routine have to have a horrible grip on my life? Theres nothing like routine to drain all the drive and creativity out of my body, nothing like routine to ruin my days and weeks, nothing like routine to make me a miserable blob of self pity.
And most of all. Why are you so good to me, when i basically ignore you?
Lately Iv been asking myself alot of questions. Asking other people questions and most of all asking God questions. and im never really expecting an answer from any of them. Most of them I dont even want answers to.
Why have I been so greatly blessed with such good friends, good times, and most of all good people who care? I totally dont deserve it.
Where has the time gone?Why is it that when you want time to slow down almost to a stop, life throws you into hyper speed? Even though im looking forward to Australia I just want life to slow down for a second so I can clear my head and appreciate what I wont have when im gone.
Why am I doing daycare? I hate other peoples kids, What a stupid idea.
Why cant I ever say how I feel? Maybe its the fact no one asks. Maybe its the fact that people have but I can never sense they really care.
Why would i ignore something as important as whats best for me? Why would I choose rest over healing? Why would I choose an extra hour of sleep over renewal? Dont ask me. Im an Anderson.
Why why why why why does routine have to have a horrible grip on my life? Theres nothing like routine to drain all the drive and creativity out of my body, nothing like routine to ruin my days and weeks, nothing like routine to make me a miserable blob of self pity.
And most of all. Why are you so good to me, when i basically ignore you?
Friday, February 23, 2007
polishing up on my non existant "skillz"
Ill be convulsing for days
In this hole Iv prefected for myself
I am screaming out for salvation
while strapping my feet to the roots below
because secretly Id like to stay
in this pretty train wreck
Iv now made my home
In this hole Iv prefected for myself
I am screaming out for salvation
while strapping my feet to the roots below
because secretly Id like to stay
in this pretty train wreck
Iv now made my home
Friday, February 16, 2007
ilcheesecake
One day , while Steph was minding her own buisness. Jess decided to be a big jerk face and flip her the bird.
So naturally. Steph retaliated.
Oh yeah??
YEAH!
Pow! right in the kisser!
I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT!
Jess then plays the "beyonce" card. "Oh no you di-int!" says Steph
Kablamo!
Jess gets an idea...........Oh NO! not a cat in the face!!
Thats it, Stephs had enough, it was time to pull out the big guns
What in the world is that? says Jess
BEHOLD! the majesty of....BISCOTTI 
Oh no! Biscotti! my only kryptonite! How did you know!?
DARN YOU BISCOTTIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh no! what have I done! she was my best friend!!!*sob sob*
HAH! im just kidding stephie! See look! Alll better!
Lets make some cheesecake!
Lets never fight again.
You could say THAT again
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
an ode to valentines ( only not )
1. Name one person who made you smile today?
...i wasnt really around anyone today.....how about. my dad. when he gave my chocolate kisses as an "early valentines present"
2. What were you doing at 8 this morning?
Sleeping.
3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Driving my mom home from work. watching the northern lights....as i was driving home from the city...haha im a little dangerous
4. What is something that happened in 1994?
I moved to Dalmeny? I think?
5. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"Goodnight"
6. How many different things did you drink today?
3, coke, milk, and water
7. What color is your hairbrush?
black and wood. haha wood isnt a color.
8. What was the last thing you bought?
Mcdonalds....pizza. ew im unhealthy
9. What was the last gift you recieved for your birthday?
Simpsons Jeapordy maybe.
10. What color is your mouse?
I dont have a mouse. Im on a laptop...sooo....my finger
11. Where do you keep your change?
In my wallet.
12. What was the weather like today?
Cold. But in the evening there was like NO wind and it was cold so all the smoke from the buildings and exhaust from the cars would just linger in the air and look like...a blanket of pollution fog.....but in a pretty way....haha wow i have a way of describing things. no?
13. What is the best ice-cream flavor?
Peppermint candy cane swirl. only around christmas though
14. What is something you are excited about?
Australia.
15. When was the last rainbow you saw?
I cant recall the date. but probably the last time it rained.
16. What is your favorite gardening tool?
the...spade. cause you can cut up worms with it
17. Do you have a sister?
negative
18. Are you very random?
Mmmm. Define random. I would say to an extent
19. Do you want to cut your hair?
I just did. so no
20. Are you over the age of 25?
Nope
22. Do you watch The OC?
NO.
23. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Yeah, well she didnt really send it to me. I just stole it off her blog, muahahah
24. Do you know anyone named Steve?
Steven Joanette....and...steve i forget his last name. but hes from new zealand and his wifes mean
"were the family that walks together!"
25. Do you make up your own words?
Probably, "its a perfectly cromulant word"
26. Are you ticklish?
Yes. very. even if your not touching me ill freak out.
27. Are you typically a jealous person?
Not...overly really.
28. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'J'?
Jessica and Joey
29. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'?
Kerri and Kurtis
30. Whos the 1st person on your recieved calls list?
I dont feel like walking upstairs just to check that.
31. What did the last text message you sent say?
I dont know. I havent had my phone in like 4 months
30. Do you drink?
Nope
33. Do you have curly frizzy hair?
No. Hahaha I almost typed yah. mines the farthest from curly
34. What is the next concert your going to?
Uhm....copeland? maybe?
35. Who is the shittiest person in your life?
What does this question even mean? did you just want to swear?
35. Who is the coolest person in your life?
I dont know. haha. no one i know is cool. haha take THAT everyone i know
36. What is something you say a lot?
"your a monster"
37. What is the last thing you ate?
cinnimin hearts that were a year old and had dust on them....but its still good its still good
38. Have you seen the movie 'Donnie Darko'?
Yep. and its one of my FAVORITES
39. Do you have work tommorow?
How about you rub it in quiz. Man. quizzes are good for making you feel bad about yourself. Make you realize you dont have a boyfriend OR a job...way to go
40. Is marriage in your future?
I hope so.
41. When was the last time you said 'I love you'?
dunno. Probably NEVER haha
42. What should you be doing right now?
Sleeping
43. Do you have a nickname?
yep. a few.
45. Are you a heavy sleeper?
Mmmmm not really, but if im really tired i am.
46. When was the last time you used a skateboard?
Hahahah. the one summer they made me lead skateboarding at camp. THAT was the worst.
47. What is the best movie you've seen in the past two weeks?
Smokin aces.
48. Is there anyone you like right now?
Never
49. When was the last time you did the dishes, be honest!?
Today. why would you stress to be honest on that question. I dont want my friends to know I help out around the house!!!
50. Are you currently depressed?
Well maybe I am after pulling that "job card" on me. stupid...poo face quiz.
...i wasnt really around anyone today.....how about. my dad. when he gave my chocolate kisses as an "early valentines present"
2. What were you doing at 8 this morning?
Sleeping.
3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Driving my mom home from work. watching the northern lights....as i was driving home from the city...haha im a little dangerous
4. What is something that happened in 1994?
I moved to Dalmeny? I think?
5. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"Goodnight"
6. How many different things did you drink today?
3, coke, milk, and water
7. What color is your hairbrush?
black and wood. haha wood isnt a color.
8. What was the last thing you bought?
Mcdonalds....pizza. ew im unhealthy
9. What was the last gift you recieved for your birthday?
Simpsons Jeapordy maybe.
10. What color is your mouse?
I dont have a mouse. Im on a laptop...sooo....my finger
11. Where do you keep your change?
In my wallet.
12. What was the weather like today?
Cold. But in the evening there was like NO wind and it was cold so all the smoke from the buildings and exhaust from the cars would just linger in the air and look like...a blanket of pollution fog.....but in a pretty way....haha wow i have a way of describing things. no?
13. What is the best ice-cream flavor?
Peppermint candy cane swirl. only around christmas though
14. What is something you are excited about?
Australia.
15. When was the last rainbow you saw?
I cant recall the date. but probably the last time it rained.
16. What is your favorite gardening tool?
the...spade. cause you can cut up worms with it
17. Do you have a sister?
negative
18. Are you very random?
Mmmm. Define random. I would say to an extent
19. Do you want to cut your hair?
I just did. so no
20. Are you over the age of 25?
Nope
22. Do you watch The OC?
NO.
23. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Yeah, well she didnt really send it to me. I just stole it off her blog, muahahah
24. Do you know anyone named Steve?
Steven Joanette....and...steve i forget his last name. but hes from new zealand and his wifes mean
"were the family that walks together!"
25. Do you make up your own words?
Probably, "its a perfectly cromulant word"
26. Are you ticklish?
Yes. very. even if your not touching me ill freak out.
27. Are you typically a jealous person?
Not...overly really.
28. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'J'?
Jessica and Joey
29. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'?
Kerri and Kurtis
30. Whos the 1st person on your recieved calls list?
I dont feel like walking upstairs just to check that.
31. What did the last text message you sent say?
I dont know. I havent had my phone in like 4 months
30. Do you drink?
Nope
33. Do you have curly frizzy hair?
No. Hahaha I almost typed yah. mines the farthest from curly
34. What is the next concert your going to?
Uhm....copeland? maybe?
35. Who is the shittiest person in your life?
What does this question even mean? did you just want to swear?
35. Who is the coolest person in your life?
I dont know. haha. no one i know is cool. haha take THAT everyone i know
36. What is something you say a lot?
"your a monster"
37. What is the last thing you ate?
cinnimin hearts that were a year old and had dust on them....but its still good its still good
38. Have you seen the movie 'Donnie Darko'?
Yep. and its one of my FAVORITES
39. Do you have work tommorow?
How about you rub it in quiz. Man. quizzes are good for making you feel bad about yourself. Make you realize you dont have a boyfriend OR a job...way to go
40. Is marriage in your future?
I hope so.
41. When was the last time you said 'I love you'?
dunno. Probably NEVER haha
42. What should you be doing right now?
Sleeping
43. Do you have a nickname?
yep. a few.
45. Are you a heavy sleeper?
Mmmmm not really, but if im really tired i am.
46. When was the last time you used a skateboard?
Hahahah. the one summer they made me lead skateboarding at camp. THAT was the worst.
47. What is the best movie you've seen in the past two weeks?
Smokin aces.
48. Is there anyone you like right now?
Never
49. When was the last time you did the dishes, be honest!?
Today. why would you stress to be honest on that question. I dont want my friends to know I help out around the house!!!
50. Are you currently depressed?
Well maybe I am after pulling that "job card" on me. stupid...poo face quiz.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Running on empty
You know when your driving your car. and you dont realize that your gas tank is empty and your gas light comes on? Then you panic and try to get to a gas station as quick as humanly possible and as your pulling up, you coast in on the fumes?
Yeah. thats me right now.
I give this week three thumbs....in my eyes
Yeah. thats me right now.
I give this week three thumbs....in my eyes
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