The future freaks me out.

As I have been looking back on some previous posts of mine and I have decided

Im too concernd with the future....seriously, theres no way im going to change things in the future if I dont start fixing things in the here and now

I cant do great things without a starting point, Im thinking these things just spring up out of the blue and everything is magically going to mend and work itself out if I just let it do its thing. Life doesnt work like that....Nothing works like that. Who am I kidding? Things wont magically unfold before my very eyes. Thats stupid that I have to tell myself that. Honestly. Does anything ever work out that way?

I live my life for the next hour. The next Month, The next year.
Why. Whats the point in that? I should just live my life where it is right now in the present.
Eventually the future isnt going to be the future anymore and whats left to live for?
Sounds like the most logical/ (ill admit) cliche thing to do, Aside from the fact of it being super cliche..Why dont I do it?

Maybe im sick of having to deal with things I thought were fixed and Id never have to deal with again.
Maybe I dont HAVE the words of comfort or reason for anyone right now.
Maybe I cant make a diffrence here


Or maybe im just too selfish.
Man who am I kidding...scratch that maybe.
That needs to change before anything else.