quiz quiz quiz quiz

im bored. can you tell?


01.Your name plus a Y?
stephy (* angry face* )

02.Two feelings at the moment?
cold.... and nostalgic

03. What are you listening to right now?
Low - coldplay

04. A part of a song lyric that's in your mind?
what if you should decide, that you dont want me there by your side

05. Last person you hugged?
mmm....alyssa ...probably, nope, matt

06. The highlight of your week?
starting at booster juice

07. What are you craving to have right now?
booster juice...haha

08. Any unforgettable childhood memories?
oh lots...playing animals with katie and alyssa braun, horseback riding with katie

09. A not-so-good childhood memory?
plenty..me almost dying falling down a slide,. now its funny. its on tape even

10. What are your nicknames?
stephi ( i hate that one ) meff, teffy, teff, steve, stevie, stevie wonder, pep

11. Your plans for tomorrow?
go to work

12. Your plans for today?
youth sponsoring...mmm...eating?

13. Are you thinking of someone right now?
yes!

14. Do You Think Someone is thinking of you?
most likely not

15. Have you got a job?
yepp and i love it!

17. Say something to the person who posted this before?
Uh cora. i know what soapy means. your doomed

18. What do you want?
to be warm and not wet, i hate sprinkle rain

19. are you happy?
sure

20. Do you like anyone?
i doubt it

21. Do you miss anyone right now?
yes.

22. Describe where you are right now?
on my bed in my room. that was tough

23. What do you like about the night?
stars, the northern lights. i come ALIVE haha

24. If you were on a farm what would you want to see?
alot of horses and dogs,....and ducks, maybe even a pond with a tireswing.

25. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
a marine biologist. haha

26. Last gift received?
a tennis ball from joey. although i wouldnt really consider that a gift

27. Did you like it?
sure, i keep it in my purse

29. Do you play an instrument?
i can but i dont really anymore

30. sweet or sour?
sweet

31. Your good luck charm?
i dont have one. but if i had to pick. my plastic dinosaur named chili boots

32. Person you hate most?
i dont hate anyone.

33. Who makes you laugh the most?
jess and janelle, kendall, brennan

34. What makes you smile?
memeories, people mostly...

Hometown:
dalmeny, SK

Height:
5'1 im...pretty sure i lose.

Hair color:
dark brown

Hair Style: (wavy/curly/straight):
striaght

Eye color:
brown

School:
well...i graduated from DHS

Friends:
oooooh, im not naming them all. the only one who rOXxOrs the most is jess probably. haha

Finish the sentence:

2. I am listening to
the mars volta

3. Maybe I should...
get dressed into normal clothes and not purple booster juice clothes

Where's Number 4?
your momma ate it

5. My best friends...
Jess, Carrie and Alyssa. im pretty sure there the best

6. I don't understand...
why some people put themselves in situations where they know there gonna get hurt
Why people dont say stuff to my face

7. I lost...
my mind. bahaha i bet THAT was original!
but seriosly? my frog that i kept in my room

8. People say...
alot of gibberish

Harvest-mlarvest Moon-shmloon

I went off to Harvest Moon this last Friday, and let me tell you it was ever so much fun.

It started off in a neverending hunt for matt. literally. we still dont know where he is. Thats a little weird but beside the point.
Anyways because of that major glitch our take off time was...delayed by 3 hours at least. and ended up being just me and Kendall driving all the way to edmonton.

The festival started at 630 and we arrived at his cousins house at 8.
We were ready to go and watch MewithoutYou until Cody ( kendalls cousin ) decided he wanted some Burger King.
So we stopped and ate in for some reason and all the while we came to the conclusion that it was the slackest BK on the planet. Alternative music pumping througout the entire restaraunt and the manager hooting and hollering in the kitchen.
Dispite that fun adventure I was pretty dang upset because we missed mewithoutYou'sset. We didnt feel like paying 25 bucks to see there last 3 songs so we stood outside the gates like the cheap losers we are.
From what I heard outside they were pretty incredible. just as i expected. except for january 1979 that was ...ok

We went back to codys and watched fear and loathing in las vegas and i fell asleep on THEE creakiest bed in the world. This is my impression.
*moves fingers* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!!!KACHUNK!

Running low on sleep we ran out the door the next morning to catch tuxedo mask, who rocked as usual. I even bought a shirt. I will post a picture soon because it rocks so much.
We left after them for a bit to go shop around not as west ed because the boys didnt care for riley armstrong.
We then came back to see Glory Nights. Dont really remember much besides that they were decent.
Then was Jacob and Lily, except those werent there names at all. Not even close. but all i can remeber is the guys name and his name was Caleb.
Anyways the girl had an INCREDIBLE voice and the dude played that...box drum where you sit on it. I was very impressed with their set. check them out if you have a chance.
Then we saw a bit of joy electric and then left. and went by a duck pond outside of the area but we were still within ear shot unfortunatly. ( the joe and pigeon john are hip hop artists i didnt praticularily enjoy, expecially pigeon john ) and threw stuff at the ducks.

Came back for the myriad who rocked as well I was so impressed with how good they were live. for there last song "dissapointed together" one of the 3 guitar players used a bow on his guitar. SO COOL! that one was and is still my favorite by them

Then was blindside, dun dun dun DUN!! SOOO good!! there was such a massive crowd compared to everyone else and for good reason. i was smiling clapping and taping the entire time. enough said.

But this is getting long as it is so ill end with we woke up early today and went to west ed and saw a sea lion show. cool
Now im home and im sick and tired and I GOT A JOB AT BOOSTER JUICE!!
I win!
I start tommorow and im gonna puke im so nervouse

In case you havent seen my other blog...

I did win that photography competition.
Not only did I win the competition but I also got another photo as an honorable mention!
I also got an invitation along with only 5 other people to go to an all day workshop lead by a proffessional photographer...No way!!! Im so stoked out of my MIND!
This is the photo that won



This is the honorable mention




Personally I think it should have been the other way around but who cares?

A real post

What have I done in the past week? Let me tell you, because i know your all DYING to know.

Im gonna start from the farthest back I can remember, and that is
Saturday: I got my daith peirced. Whats a daith you ask? Well...forgive the massive ear picture with a fresh peircing wound...but this is it

yee...haw

aaand...

Wednesday: Last day of summer program Hooray!! And let me tell you. every single kid must have been loaded up with sugar before they came the day before, what the crap was going on with that ( Tuesday was the last day with kids. wensday we just had to clean up )
I also bought a Mars Volta cd

Today: Had an interview at Starbucks
Corprate sellout? I think so. I dont even care haha I get another interview so thats a good sign
I also bought the iron and wine cd. :)


Mmmm and tommorow i dont know what im going to do with myself. Im not working....what do I do!?

I like to rhyme...All the time

Smile faker
Breath taker
Free thinker
Coffee drinker
Loud screamer
Day dreamer
Shoot for the stars
Driving in cars
Compassionate heart
and falling apart
Wanderlust
Expresses trust
has a dream
coffee with cream
Wants to love
Free as a dove
Trapped in a box
Hating socks
Music junkie
Grease monkey
Artistic eye
Wants to fly
World shaker
Rule breaker
Needing change
A little strange

Free to be
THIS IS ME

A dreamer dreams, she never dies...

Man on the Train: Hey, are you a dreamer?
Wiley: Yeah.
Man on the Train: I haven't seen too many around lately. Things have been tough lately for dreamers. They say dreaming is dead, no one does it anymore.
It's not dead it's just that it's been forgotten, removed from our language. Nobody teaches it so nobody knows it exists.
The dreamer is banished to obscurity.
Well, I'm trying to change all that, and I hope you are too. By dreaming, every day. Dreaming with our hands and dreaming with our minds.
Our planet is facing the greatest problems it's ever faced, ever. So whatever you do, don't be bored, this is absolutely the most exciting time we could have possibly hoped to be alive.
And things are just starting





Waking life = best movie in the world

Just 'Cause I Rock

Oooooh , I AM the coolest







Speaking of rocking....

Dont you love the feeling of a song being burned into your memory. Your sitting there and you can actually feel the moment being crystalized into your brain and you know your going to remember that moment forever.
I had a moment like that tonight, two songs in a row. It wasnt even a special moment or a special song that I loved or anything. Just a normal moment. It was kinda nice .

I think it had to do with the lyrics though. They went like this

i hope this song starts a craze.
the kinda song that ignites the airwaves.
the kinda song that makes people glad
to be where they are,
with whoever they're there with.

we are the best at what we do.
and these are the words you wish you wrote down.
this is the way you wish your voice sounds,
hansome and smart.
oh my tongue's the only muscles on my body
that works harder than my heart.







Hey actually. guess what everyone!

I, Stephanie Anderson the first. Have succedded in quitting my job at the sears portrait studio.
YAY!!!

No more shifts ever *does a jig*
And I might get a job at the spadina free house *does another jig*

And a-camping I will go this next weekend!!! I can actually have a summer now!!!
I dont think I could be happier than I am right now
Actually. That was a lie

Good ol' rumble McGee

The moment you all have expected has finally arrived
My buick died....On Idylwyld


So that was pretty fun. Im puttering along and im like a red light better stop *nah nah nah* ok cool its green
*presses the gas* *goes nowhere*
Uhhhhhmm....what?
*tries to turn on the car again* *nothing*
*tsk*...uh oh. its pretty busy and people are getting pretty mad....
*gets out of the car and pops the hood so no one else harrasses her*
*flags down a cop to make a gap in traffic so I can push it to a side street*


Overall a pretty embarrassing situation, the cop didnt even help me. What a loser.

Huzzah for broken alternators that I have to pay for
Huzzah for the long weekend
Huzzah

Ladies and gentlemen, guard your wallets

Iv learned that no matter where I go. No matter Who im with, I am never the topic of discussion when it comes to all the junior high discussions we all love to talk about. You all know which ones im talking about.
And I now think....Im slightly ok with it and iv come to terms with the whole situation.

In other news

The fringe festival is coming the fringe festival is coming!
nuh nuh nuh *does a dance*

Im going again and again and again and again.
This is my favorite time of year. the most intresting people crawl out of there homes and all gather on the most intresting street in town.
You look around and say " what the crap is that guy doing" But that thing hes doing that would normally would freak you out if you saw it, you now laugh. Because today its socially acceptable.
Anyone can set up anything they want wether it be playing a violin or a magic show.
People even have there own little kiosks
And the jewlerry they sell. OOOH the jewlery. Eccentric handmade bracelets and necklaces rock my face off and I dont know if I could ever leave them behind.
Although I always end up losing them or getting them stolen. This is what this event is all about. Stocking up on this sweeeeet sweeeeet crap.



Sidenote:
I FINALLY updated my photoblog, everyone ch-ch-check it out!
www.beautythroughtheviewfinder.blogspot.com

Mr sun

Im mellllting! Its definatly just a little bit too hot this weekend.

I wish I had air conditioning but I heard that messes up your internal heating system or something and it makes you fatter because your body doesnt work to get your temperature down, something else does it for you or something.
I dont care. bunches of freezies glued onto my arms and face arent working anymore

Anywho as you can tell theres no real point to this except for whats coming next.

Its a song/poem by Bradley Hathaway called the hug poem. And it showed up on random on my playlist right at the perfect time.


I read about how you touched them and they were healed
Or even if someone just touched your cloak they were forever changed
You let a broken women bathe your feet in her tears
And you washed your best friend’s feet
I am just wondering though did you just ever hug people

I mean I know that it is a silly question and all I am sure you would have why wouldn’t you
But its one of those things that was never mentioned that got me thinking about it

And how whenever there was a touch from you sins were forgiven and sickness fell
I think I’m caught up in my sins last time I checked all my body parts were properly working, nothing special here
I am just a kid with a heavy heart these passing sunrises and sunsets

I don’t think our encounter would have ended up in the gospels or anything
Because all I really need is a hug
That is ok for me to imagine right
That’s not going to be conflicting with any sort of theology is it
Ok good, then hug me

But not one of these side ways one arm around the neck type hugs
Or the ghetto right hand clasp fists elbows to chest pit pat on the back back
Or you put your right arm over my right arm and I put my left arm over your left arm and we make this weird sort of diagonal thing
Nah none of those

BEAR HUG ME MAN
Take your old school carpenter arms and throw them over my upper body leaving my arms dangling underneath yours somewhere and I can barely move them because your squeezing so hard

But don’t pick me up and make my back pop because I hate it when people do that

And hold me, hold me here in your arms until I start to cry because
I WANT TO CRY
But I just can’t seem to do it on my own
I have been teary eyed once recently but not even enough for a drip down my cheek
Theres just hurt in my soul that needs to be purged so hold me in this hold pose until the pain is flowing from my eyes and nose

I find a fatal flaw in the logic of love

I feel like a shell.......thats buried under a 1 tonne mound of crap.
Australia seems farther away then ever. 5 months may as well be 5 decades at the rate im going.





I'm looking in on the good life i might be doomed never to find

Because it was nothing like we ever dreamt, our lust for life had gone away...

I find the only thing keeping me sane these days is music. As cliche as that sounds its so very true. Kids are going to be the death of me, Im suprised im not violently ill, children are naturally swimming in millions of germs . All they do all day is stretch out their grubby hands towards you after they coughed in them and touch your mouth/face or something else equally as stupid.

This last month has left me feeling like a big massive mound of crap and wondering why I ever wanted to graduate. Im so sorry to everyone who said "Treasure this time, Highschool is the best years of your life" and then I laughed after they said it and totally didnt belive them, I didnt think it could possibly get worse than highschool. It did.
And now Im thinking it cant possibly get worse than THIS , but it will. man, i dont even have to pay rent and support kids and im complaining.
Shut up steph. Stop complaining.

Anyways. to the main point of this post.

You know how when you were a kid and all you wanted to do all day every day is be outside? You had dirt that was caked on to your feet and that 1 inch mass was considered your shoes because when your a kid its ok to be stinky and dirty, your feet were immune to cuts from being outside so long anyways.
You remember the fight you would put up when your mom even suggested coming inside?

What ever happend to those kind of kids? I work at a summer program and all the kids want to do is stay inside. If you mention going outside they put up such a fuss you practically have to drag them outside. And after 5 minutes of being outside they pull on your shirt and go " Im hot and thirsty, Im going inside"

the age of when kids start acting like teenagers is loweing at a very suprising and upsetting rate.

Where have all the children gone?

Someday you will be loved

I havent blogged in a while...considering how much I usually blog anyways

Heres the haps in my life

Just graduated, huzzah. Totally doesnt feel like 2 week since our grad....weird. It feels like 2 months
How Im feeling since then? Two words for you guys. Burnt...Out

I go from no job to 2 jobs working everyday, my only day off since july 3rd was this last sunday and I wont get another one until who knows when. maybe not until the end of the summer because im on call every sunday.Yippie, Not that I dont like my jobs, its just alot to juggle.

on top of that ( im not complaining about this this is TOTALLY 100% my fault ) I have been hanging out with the most unlikely group for the past week and a couple days until 2 am every night.
Whos this unlikely group you ask?
Me, Alyssa Pigglen, Brennan, Kendall, Cody, Kurtis, Nick, Alex Bolan, and the new kid

Oh thats right. We have a new kid. His names brandon and he likes hockey, thats about all I know about him because hes really quiet. Hes going into grade 12 though.

mmmm yep if my memory is serving me correctly thats about all thats new with me....Im boring.

Grad ramblings

I cant even express how fun grad was ( minus after grad. that kind of stunk a bit but when are after grads ever fun?)
But the banquet. ceremonies and after after rocked my face off.

Everyone was so nice to each other this whole week so it sucks that im going to have to leave them all and not be able to see them again. Honestly. that really makes me sad.

The banquet went well considering me and bryan were the MCs and they totally switched the order on us and didnt tell us. that rocked. but apparantly we pulled it off well.
Mr B didnt talk about dragon flies this time so that was cool

The ceremonies seemed pretty short for our class size, our history and prophecy rocked ( Ill put mine up here later. i dont have my memory book with me so i forget some of it ) and everyone seemed to have a good time.
it was so good seeing people you havent seen in forever, if any of you read this thank you SOO much for coming out, it means alot, seriosly. ( even the ones I see often )

The after after grad was suprisingly one of my highlights because nothing got out of hand , nobody started anything, I met a whole bunch of people and there wasnt much peer pressure.
Although I dont think iv ever gotten that many hugs in my life from people I dont know and from people who I didnt think ever would. But thats what you get mixing grad with alchahol.
Im very glad I went and even glad I stayed the whole night ( because my ride left without me )

Man im gonna miss some of those people.
Stink...


( ill put up photos when my laptop comes, this computer stinks )

I'll name him crazy talk

So on the way to work today ( haha I LOVE being able to start stories like that) I got out of my car and started walking towards the midtown and this homeless man stood up from where he was sitting and started walking beside me.
He struck up a very odd conversation which was harmless enough so the least I could do was listen to the poor guy and add in a few " oh yah " s.
He first pointed towards the construction machines and he says " Those are from the GOVERMENT arent they?"
He continued with " you see all this dust blowing around? they need to clean up eh? they need to clean up these weeds eh, those wont do any good there eh. you see that dirt in the corner there? how are they gonna get that out eh??"
He then proceeded to talk about soil erosion and how he learned it in school and then started pointing at his eyepatch and explained how dust is blowing everywhere and bugs can fly into your eyes .
He bid me farewell at the corner as I walked across the cross walk and reminded me that mice were gross. He seemed satisfied at the information he presented me with and he was on his way.

He was an intresting man, although a little bit strange.
It was kind of sad to see but Im sure he hasn't talked to someone for a long time and meant no harm to anyone, he just needed to tell someone a story, so I thought Id humor him and pretended to be interested in his paranoid antics for that short walk to the crosswalk while most people just ignored him or told him off.


Thats my story about the kind of man most people dont have time for. I personally found him interesting/funny and a different start to my day.

I am the (wo)man!

I just got an official call from australia ( not the whole country (haha janelle. a 49283626467 way call) ) and I got told I am officially accepted for the reef to outback DTS!
I rock!

Im forsurly leaving all you suckers to rot here in dalmeny!
....Aw that wasn't nice. Well...Im leaving all you while you have to STAY in dalmeny.
Better?

The point is im leaving. Forsure. And that makes me more happy then words can describe


I only have 2 more days of highschool life left....Better make the most of it and not do my homework for old times sake.

Im sorry, its my first day.

So I started my job today...

Im hoping its just a case of the "first day of work blues" but...I dont see the glamorous photography studio fantasy being unfurled before my eyes like I was expecting. (well not really "expecting" but you know what i mean )
Instead its kind of a crappy fantasy knock off with an evil perfectionist overlord and really mean servants (with the exception of one).

But thats alright...its my first day right?.....right!?


Bah, responsibilities are for the weak. Im going back to kindergarten.

So long suckas!

Do you remember what it was like to dream, before you were 17?

In 3 days I start my very first job ever ( Barn playhouse doesn't count ) at the Sears portrait studio....I'm 17.....and I've waited until the end of grade 12 to get a job. I have issues.

But this isn't what I intended on blogging about. PSYCHE!


I feel very....inspired today. Too bad its 10:30 and I cant really do anything about it.
For some reason the rain effected me in a positive way today, it injected creativity into my veins and I picked up my camera for the first time in a while and a wrote a bit.
Maybe because it was the good kind of rain instead of a muggy mist but this refreshing rain stopped just in time for me to go out and catch a beautiful sunset tonight. That was pretty cool.

Its getting closer to my graduation day by the minute and I don't think ill have an abundance of these nights left in me. Im going to be SO busy this summer and after summer Im going to be working/being a youth sponsor again so I wont have as much spare time to just bum around.
I think thats the only part of highschool im going to miss....ever

last thought of the night.
I was cleaning/re-ogranizing my room today and i was looking around and if you ever want to find out what im all about or who I am. Look in there. Theres little peices of me everywhere ( not literally of course )
I like it better cleaned up other than in a mess.
Thats one thing about me my room doesn't reflect though.
Im a mess,... I guess.


Sorry about the lame post guys. I felt like writing something and it came out as ...written diahrea.

Gruff Rhys & Bright Eyes

Oh wow....oh wow....oh wow...

I can die tomorrow and I wouldn't even care. my life has been completed!
Except for a few minor flaws, Tonight was overall perfect.

The whole night was packed with genius is all I can say.

Gruff Rhys amazed/surprised the heck out of me. He was halarious and that guy is the definition of creativity and only a live show will ever do him justice. I almost was peeing myself the whole time and thinking "how the crap is he doing that?" and "why is there a plastic bird on the stage?"

And Bright eyes. Well. Im still in awe they even came here. As I was looking up watching conor do his thing ( with alot of spit flying everywhere but thats ok ) with overflowing intensity. I was like....nope. Cant be happening, they wouldnt come to saskatoon. Why would they come to saskatoon?
But they were....and im glad.
Although they didnt play some of the songs I was hoping for ( aside from first day of my life and lover I dont have to love ) It was pretty good. I like it when bands play old stuff most people arent familiar with.
The whole band played with such intensity it was insane. The lyrics are perfect and I Loved every second of it

quote of the night said by Conor Oberst.

" this song is written about being put somewhere you dont belong.....like flamingos....in the west edmonton mall.........or a pirate ship.....in the west edmonton mall.....or me .....walking around in the west edmonton mall"




I have succeeded in seeing two of my favorite bands in two months....I do declare that I win.

Sometimes....

Sometimes I seriosly question if some people actually have a single working brain cell in their skull.

Quest for a porcupine...day 1

Hahaha...What the heck? So this is the story of our potential porcupine under our deck


One day. I walked outside and looked under the deck...there was big mounds of dirt and a hole. My first thought was. haha...bears stupid(my dog). Because he likes to lie in cool ground so I assumed it was him.

Fast forward a couple days...I find a bunch of porcupine quills in bear. and I think it was just from me and him walking on the railroad tracks when he was rolling around in the ditch. But the last few days we are finding more. Unless hes escaping to the railroad tracks everyday...it must be coming from somewhere close.

So the thought comes to me....wait a minute...porcupines live in holes....So me and brennan went to the backyard tonight to investigate, the hole definatly couldnt have been dug by bear because it goes like...under a lawn mower. But since porcupines are noctournal we figured me must be out and about doing his porcupine thing and he was nowhere to be seen.

Our adventure continues tomorow when hes fast asleep...perhaps.

I think I might be growing attached to him....if hes even there....if we discover him and isnt killed by brennan...I think I might have to name him..

Which makes me think...if there is...what the crap are we supposed to do to keep it from hurting our dog? Minus killing it...because i dont want to.

Im a workin girl now!

Best day ever

Our whole class ( minus adam and mark ) skipped today and went to Rickies all day grill and to the dollarama just to mess around. we came back and watched a movie at thomas's and baked cookies

But I come home expecting to get yelled at because the teachers called everyone and I got in trouble anyways. but instead i come home to call from the police dept. and im like...uhoh. But then I realize its them calling saying I got the job i applied for!!!

I am now offically the assistant summer program coordinator here in town and I start July 4th!

Huzaah!!

Worst...idea....ever

*thinks to self*
Hey! maybe ill go for a walk down the railroad tracks in this +30 weather. That should be fun!


.......it wasnt...im hot...and sticky...and muddy from chasing my dog into a puddle because he wouldnt get out of it.

A challenge from a dreamer

Write down your life list and watch it unfold before your eyes.
Seriosly, Its facinating seeing the dreams you have come true and be accomplished in such a short time.

Never stop dreaming

i'm a creature and these are my THREE hot friends (including the man with his leg up on the water fountain)

So, as the title says. these pictures of my hot friends will summarize the events of my night....kind of.. Not really. but there fun anyways
normally Id post this excellence in my photoblog...but i signed onto this one instead by accident

Anyways..Meet Carrie Sawatzky.
This is not her first time modelling for me ( search through the archives and youll see some pretty nasty pictures of her....I mean....no...no thats what i meant)
She likes rain dances and men with long flowing hair

This is Jess Roberts. This IS in fact the first time she has graced the presence of my camera in an artistic form. A natural? You tell me
Two words to sum her up would be. Piano Pop
she is intrested in hot men from resturants ( specifically chiantis ) and little boys (specifically regan )
If your either one of those. Hit me up for her number. Shes totally single

Here is some of my creations with these two sexys

Oh yes...the REAL star in this picture is the guy in the background. he was the main focus initially hence carries expression.
hot.

I wouldnt call it church. the way these spirits work

Listening to Excuse me while I drink myself to death by spent


I found out the way I deal with tradgedy this weekend.
Alot different than most people I know.
You see, it's 3 days later. And I dont even care. Its over. Were fine. Im praising the Lord for my life.
Im ready to move on but it just confuses me how people clutch onto this situation and dwell on it.
I mean, it impacted me and it affected my way of life. But im not going back to the crash site and be staring at the pictures for hours. Pondering about what COULD have happend

My philosphy is if you focus on the "what if" your going to be a lot worse off than if you focus on the "what did"



Were going to visit the bus driver today after school in the hospital.
They confirmed he had a heart attack. I think it will be interesting, Im looking forward to it.
Me personally have no resentment towards him at all, Even when it happend. I dont think its fair to put something like that on someone when you think of how bad they must feel already.



But moving on since you guys are probably sick and tired of hearing about this.

Its raining again today. Im not as happy as when its sunny out. But its a nice kind of rain today.
I look out the window and everythings green and pretty. I think im going out to take pictures today ( my camera is safe and sound and deisle free! huzzah! ) Today is inspiring



P.S. I got my bright eyes ticket yesterday!!!!!!!!!

And if anyone can think of a company name for a photography thing, Its more so for copyright purposes but anything thats catchy would do.

One heck of a wake-up call

Why are we alive when all signs pointed to that at least half of us should have died in that crash?
My head hurts and i ache. But God is SOOOOOOOOOOO good I cannot stress that enough to you.
If this is not a miracle I dont know what is.
You wanted your proof of an existance of God...well here you have it

Taken from Global Saskatoon

BORDEN, Sask. -- Three people are in hospital after a charter bus carrying 52 passengers slammed into a bridge abutment in central Saskatchewan.

RCMP say the bus left the westbound lane of Highway 16, crossed the ditch and crashed into the Borden Bridge, about 50 kilometres northwest of Saskatoon, but did not roll or flip.

Sgt. Brian Jones says the male bus driver and two passengers were sent to hospital in Saskatoon with undetermined injuries.

The remaining passengers were taken to the firehall in the nearby community of Langham to contact their families and make other travel arrangements.

Emergency crews had to contain some diesel fuel that spilled following the crash.

The name of the bus owner and the vehicle's final destination have not been released.


God is good. God is good.

And im not telling this story to be all " Oh man look what IV been through, im so much better than you "
Im sharing it because this was a moment in my life where im deciding to live my life in a different manor.
No more taking life for granted and saying the cliche " It will never happen to me. it only happens to people I dont know"
Well you are always a stranger to someone else. And anything can happen



Ack. One more time for good measure
God is GOOD

Mr.sun, Whats your problem?

I found myself snapping at people today and all I could do was smile and say
"Oh dont worry about me, I get cranky when it rains"
Note to self: Dont move to the East Coast
Whats my problem? Im a horrible person.

But seriosly, You know those chocolate bars they call "fun size"? To me that's a blatant lie.
My philosophy of fun size is that bigger is better.
You give me a Mars bar that is 10 feet long, 4 feet high and 3 feet wide...THEN we're talking fun.


(why is it that I plan on a blog being short it ends up 3 times longer. Does that happen to anyone else or am I a mutant blogger of some sort)

Well for all of you who are the music savvy type
Look at this picture and tell me how many "bands" you see in it
Ie: Guns and roses...
Hmmm...its a little small....weeeellll...suck it up.

Rant time! ( Updated )

OK when I talk with Jess it always gets me in the mood to be angry at people....well.not angry...just...frustrated.
And thats not a bad thing by the way Jess


Here. I will rant about everyone that makes me mad. Because I can. Ha

1. People who pretend to be something there not.
You know the typical. Punk, Indie music snob, The stereotype of "emo" ( which is a whole other catagory in itself. Not the people. The stereotype ), prep, skater
Just anyone in general where its insanly obvious there putting on a show
" Rawr im punk..F bush because hes a nazi. Even though I know nothing about politics. Im loud so listen to me REBEL AGAINST THE SYSTEM "
" Man I have this band I love but I wont even bother saying the name because you know...youve probably never heard of them because there so underground "
" Im an emo kid, I dont even know what emo means so im going to go write poetry and cry because thats what I think emo means"
" ah HA I have a boyfriend!"
" I carry a skateboard around but dont actually skate...im such a rebel"
Anyone whos identity consists of feeding off of other people they know and not finding something for themselves. That makes me mad as well. I mean get a mind of your own and stop stealing who other people are!

2. People who pretend like they know so much about music
Iv been through this. People who wear those "the doors" and "rolling stones" shirts from bluenotes should be shipped off to an island and left there to die.
honestly my #1 pet peeve
I mean. I think its ok if they listen to the band. But dont pretend. I cannot count how many times iv said to someone
"can you name 3 pink floyd songs" and they replyd " no I just thought the shirt looked cool"

Even more annoying is when people pretend to know what there talking about. You know those people im talking about listing all these bands they like but when you ask whats their favorite song by them they say "oh iv only heard one song"
I love oasis, Wonderwall rocks! is my least favorite phrase Besides like...Whos bob dylan?......... * stabbed*

I mean im not claiming to know all there is about music. Or else I would totally be a hypocrite. Because I really don't.
I mean its an area I have an intrest in and I know some things to the point where I know if people are BSing

3. People who are close minded and niave
This is a second pet peeve of mine
1st of all in the area of music. “ I hate that band”
“have you heard them?”
“Well, no”
*Axed*
And before you start calling me a hypocrite. I have tried listening to country, I listen to it frequently when im with carrie. And iv established I don’t like it. I like a few songs but that’s it

Second in the area of not knowing about something or someone and making an automatic judgement, for example
*sees someone who is a “partier” walking down the street*
“Oh I bet there drunk”
Yes….Because that’s what everyone who drinks is like during the week and all the time on weekends. Walking around by themselves drunk

Or even when people assume what its like at parties. And they make the assumption everyone there drinks so much they all are puking and passing out all over the place., Like I mean, It happens…but not ALL the time. Theres such thing as a party that the cops don’t crash.

Or when people assume someone who parties is mean and obnoxious.
I think some of the nicest people I know are “partiers”

And lastly when people say things like
“their gay, write a letter to your prime minister discussing your rage”
first of all. Thanks for speaking for me and saying that it in fact enrages me. Im glad your making up my mind about the issue.
The fact is, it doesn’t. It doesn’t affect me and the only thing I can do is tolerate it.
Im not saying I agree with it. But I mean. Arent we supposed to “love your neighbour as yourself”
That’s what I thought anyways.

4. People who get everything handed to them on a silver platter ,And still complain!!
I dont think i need to say anything else on this subgect except...
"Daaaaddy im sick of the new sweater you bought me....buy me another one"
"Daaaaddy buy me that car?, Ew its the wrong color take it back"
"I dont have enough clothes" *pout*



Enough said. Im getting a little too worked up. haha

A kiss on your molten eyes

This weekend was good.
Lacking of sleep. But good.

Nothing like a weekend at Kadesh when the sun is shineing, the aqua is blasting and your getting all relaxed and sleepy on the couches outside. it was honestly a prefect day.

I thought Getting up at 5 that morning to watch the sun rise over the lake was totaly worth it as well. ( Dispite the fact I only got an hour of sleep )Sunrises are so much better than sunsets.
For everyone who reads this blog that isnt from saskatchewan ( Which...I doubt there is any ) My sky kills your sky. I promise.
Although I fell asleep on the couch outside and got woken up by the rain and the idea that I missed supper. The day was amazing.


In other news, This evening I dragged myself out of my house ignoring that I was dead tired and went on an adventure with my rollerblades featuring musical guests the shins.
It was a much needed activity. Nothing beats gliding around town while listening to some good tuneskies while the sun is going down. This has become almost a daily ritual for me and its feelin great. So refreshing.

You guys. Go. Leave the house and go rollerblading right now, I know it looks awkward flopping all over the place trying to stay balanced when you run into those stupid gravel bits. But come on, ....they're shoes on wheels. That should be insentive enough.



Oh yah. Heres a picture of me looking like a dink with my new haircut and massive studs if you guys havent seen it yet.
Hurrah!


Edit: pictures taken out because i decided it was gross and it looked alot shorter than it was. for those who seen the picture before. it was up in a ponytail. i swear, haha

The story of the lonliest girl in the world

One night a boy named David came to the bus stop in hopes of catching it in time to make it to his favorite late night screening of memoiores of geshia

Just then his friend Greg approached the bus stop, in a panic david quickly tried to think of an excuse for why he was there.....

There was no need. Greg quickly confessed he was also going and so the two quickly jumped into an argument with each other to see who has seen it more times.
Greg said "lets take this outside. we have at least 15 minutes before the bus comes"

Just as Greg was about to make David eat some pavement they noticed someone approaching the bus stop...Someone...grotesque

Realizing all the seats were taken the girl quietly stood beside david. David was beginning to feel overly awkward with this creepy specimen standing beside him. ( haha aw i actually do look kind of creepy )

So he made a break for it. Hed rather run to his movie then spend another moment in that plastic chamber with that girl

What the heck!?
exclaimed the girl and greg

How you doin' The girl says aloud
Oh no....NO!!! greg is now thinking. She didnt just sit beside me....she couldnt have....
Greg is now staring out the window at david in the distance...hes got an idea....That might just work...

...

Crud.

And the bus never came....

The future freaks me out.

As I have been looking back on some previous posts of mine and I have decided

Im too concernd with the future....seriously, theres no way im going to change things in the future if I dont start fixing things in the here and now

I cant do great things without a starting point, Im thinking these things just spring up out of the blue and everything is magically going to mend and work itself out if I just let it do its thing. Life doesnt work like that....Nothing works like that. Who am I kidding? Things wont magically unfold before my very eyes. Thats stupid that I have to tell myself that. Honestly. Does anything ever work out that way?

I live my life for the next hour. The next Month, The next year.
Why. Whats the point in that? I should just live my life where it is right now in the present.
Eventually the future isnt going to be the future anymore and whats left to live for?
Sounds like the most logical/ (ill admit) cliche thing to do, Aside from the fact of it being super cliche..Why dont I do it?

Maybe im sick of having to deal with things I thought were fixed and Id never have to deal with again.
Maybe I dont HAVE the words of comfort or reason for anyone right now.
Maybe I cant make a diffrence here


Or maybe im just too selfish.
Man who am I kidding...scratch that maybe.
That needs to change before anything else.

Metric + Blake Sennet = Hooray!

So the day that I thought was going to be the most incredible day of my life....was....but only turned out only to be incredible in the evening.

I woke up and I felt like a 2 meter high pile of crap. I was throwing up ( Which I haven't done in like 4 years ) And im curled up on my couch wrapped in a blanket shaking while im thinking "....must.....go.....to metric....tonight "

It took almost the whole day to shake off my sickness ( or at least convince myself that I shook it off ) and 7:45 rolled around!
I was feeling better and ready to have a fun night with brooke starting off by going to earls for cheesecake.

Im all pumped I get in the car and start for the city looking at very wrong directions to this restraunt iv never been to.
I think all is fine and dandy until I realize im horribly lost ( haha your probably suprised THAT happend )
I look at the clock and im at least 15 minutes late to I park and call my parents to ask for directions. After about another 5 - 10 minutes I finally find earls but I have to park 3 blocks down because Its packed.
I come running up to the door and found out Brooke has been there since 8 because she thought I said 8 instead of 8:30, We dont know if he have enough time now so we ask if we can cancel our spot to go somewhere else but they squeeze us in anyways.
By this time im calmed down and having a good time when Brooke brings up that she almost forgot her ticket. Right then time stood still and like a million thoughts crashed into my head at once " CRAP!!!!!!!! I FORGOT MY TICKET!!!!"
Panic strikes....45 minutes to the show...and no ticket.
So we tell the waitress thanks for squeezing us in....but we have to go.. the freakin idiot forgot her freakin ticket.
By this time im feeling so horrible I just want to die. So I call my parents ( who are also in the city ) to inform them of my retarded situation and my mom offers to go get it for us.
Great, But we cant go back into earls. We just left. So what do we do? Go to dairy queen! its not cheesecake but hey.

I finally got my ticket ( after slamming my head in the car door ) and we rush off to the concert , the first band is already playing but thats ok they arent really that great.
Its packed and no one has a sense of personal space as with every other concert.
This is where my day starts to turn around

We find out the elected is opening and I didnt realize that the elected contains the one and only Blake Sennate from Rilo Kiley ( with a nasty pimp stash ). Im now giddy as a 12 year old girl seeing Nsync.
They were amazing and Blake reminds me of Jack white and Connor Oberst at the same time for some reason.

After the show he stood by my for a minute and I had an overwhelming urge to hug him and scream but I figured I wouldnt because you know...that MIGHT be creepy.

Then Metric comes on....Oh wow. I think my mouth was open the entire time. Emily Haines is my hero, shes so cool....I could say a million things about the concert but this has been long enough so Im going to end off by some pictures of my heros that actually turned out decent for how far back we were. And by saying if your ever at a concert and someone is very close behind you to the point touching you half the time…Please….PLEASE don’t shake your butt the whole time..Its REALLY awkward.

Control

I dont want to wake up tomorow so dont even try
Leave me to dream and walk on by
Im not up for the challenge of living today

Iv fallen victim to another stereotype this week.
If you think you know who I am. you dont. I! dont even know who I am





Highschool is flying by so fast lately.
You would think I would be excited but it just leaves more uncertainty and stress exposed as the days are slowly decreasing before everyone ( including myself ) expects me to have my life all together.

Everything that I thought was going to fall nicely in place is falling everywhere but where its supposed to.
Why cant one thing in my life go without uncertainty or somewhat along the lines of what I expect

But I guess its not about what I expect. Its about what God has planned
And thats harder for me to accept than you might think.
I like to be in control of things, and just to show me. Hes taken that comfortable steering wheel with the super sporty cover and the breaks have been cut.

Sometimes I wish the Lord didnt work in mysterious ways. But that wouldnt be any fun.
I couldnt imagine not being able to go hurdling down a hill at a very high speed without steering or breaks.

Its exhilerating but at the same time you just want it all to stop before you launch off the cliff and smash into the canyon at the bottom.

*Girlish scream*

So I walk in to my house today and my dad runs to the top of the stairs and goes
"EEEE!! Oh man oh man oh man!, I just found out the greatest thing on earth!!!"
*Prances around waving hands while his elbows are planted on his side*

Then he shows me this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Roj6U79xuh4&search=the%20Simpsons%20Movie%20Trailer%20film%20homer%20superman
Edit: Crud....the link doesnt work. Well its a Simpsons Movie



All I have to say is. I have mixed emotions, Because the rate that theyre going with new episodes I think we are all going to be very dissapointed.
Why couldnt this have been done during like...season 4-6?
Who knows.

Dont live your life like a movie

Go downtown, catch the early movie
The shows are cheaper, they don't mind if you put your feet up
She's out on the highway
She's got a homemade sign it says
"Go ahead, try to figure out what my future looks like"

I don't want to live my life like a story
always thinkin I could've been something
Don't run alongside and control me
Just film away and let me be
At ease, I, I feel fine
I'll move on, I'll go on

There's something so divided
Don't worry about me I'll be fine
Don't live your life for me or for anyone
You live your life as if you're one
You live your life as if you're one
Find quiet, it's awful quiet

How can you be mad, we've just got started
I want to shave my head and lie in bed all day long
How can you be mad, we've just got started
Live your life as if you're one
Live your life as if you're one
At ease, I, I feel fine
I'll go on, I'll move on

Don't live your life like a movie
Always thinkin you could've been something
Don't live your life for me or for anyone
You live your life as if you're one
You live your life as if you're one
Find quiet, it's awful quiet
Find quiet

My life is so cool

Whoever is telling people im not a good employee....stop it! haha...But seriosly....I really need a job ....stop it

Well I went in today to drop off some more resumes. Here is my status with the job hunt

Hmv ( 2 ) - don't even know why I bothered trying. You basically need to look the part or know someone.
But they kept my resume "on file" I think that is code for "in the garbage".
CD plus - See above
Music World - See above the above
Scotts Parables- Hired someone in the position I wanted a day before I came in. Lets see. how many times has THIS situation came my way? Oh right...its the story of my life.
Broadway Roastary - SAID they were firing someone in the next few days and they would give me a call. They didn't...cool
Old folks home - Also came in a day too late
AG foods - A billion people applied but they hired Brittany instead. Kevin said they were looking for more full time....shoot, that one was close.
Smart Set - I don't even know what happened
Travelodge- Gave my application today. Although it doesnt look too promising
Pet Land- The most promising of them all. Although Im not getting my hopes up but they did say they were hiring and to call them in a couple days.


I know what your all going to say " baaaaaah Steph your too picky" And yes. Yes I am. I will agree with you fully.
I refuse to work at a fast food restaurant or at Tim Hortons during the dreaded roll up the rim to win season Because people are SOOO anal about bloody paper cups.
But if all my other options run out... I will apply there. I promise I will.
but im not going to go anxiously running to settle for a job when theres better potential jobs out there for me.
So if I dont find a decent job soon. Ill settle ok? I give in. You win.


Anyways. I need a job....Anyone know of anything out there?

For the second time ( in hopes of it making more sense )

Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.
Say the following questions aloud, and press play.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.
NO CHEATING!!!!!

--------------------------------

How does the world see me?
Song: Coalmine
Artist: Armchair Cynics

Will I have a happy life?
Song: Say it if you mean it
Artist: Tsunami bombs


What do my friends really think of me?
Song: Change your mind
Artist: All american rejects

Do people secretly lust after me?
Song: Ghost
Artist: Umbrellas

How can I make myself happy?
Song: Take the veil carpet taxtd
Artist: The mars volta


What should I do with my life?
Song: Shine a light
Artist: The contstantines


Why must life be so full of pain?
Song: Season poem
Artist: Gregory and the hawk

Will I ever have (more) children?
Song: Volcano
Artist: Damien Rice


Will I die happy?
Song: Speak slow
Artist: Tegan and sara

What is some good advice for me?
Song: Miss teen wordpower
Artist: The new pornographers

What is happiness?
Song: Soft rock star
Artist: Metric

What's my favorite fetish?
Song: summer
Artist: mogwai

How will I be remembered?
Song: Dead passengers ( aw thats too bad haha )
Artist: Sondre Lerche

Who controls the universe?
song: Innocent Vigliant Ordinary
Artist: the appleseed cast



ok so that wasnt that much more sucessful....crap

There is nothing like...

...Walks on the railroad tracks with Jess talking about boys
...Doing almost ANYthing with Ryan
...Playing mario party with Carrie ( sound effects included )
...Playing in the snow with Braden and Jess
...Picnics in the park in the middle of winter at night with Teri
...Lengthly talks about music with Mark
...Riding in a car with Thomas
...Msn conversations with Brooke
...Hanging out with Cora when the power goes out
...Jess's famous hugs
...2 minute friendly arguments with Carrie
...Snow fights with Braden
...Codys friendly insults about my height
...Laurel being short enough for me to hug without going on my tiptoes
...Tobys energy
...Giving girl advice to David
...Having a second big brother like Greg
...Leahs wit
...Alisons unexpected sense of humor
...Allyssas encouragments
...Janelles random comments on everyones blogs
...Larks compassion
...Billy from Phillys Dedication and heart
...Lances family
...Hot sheets straight from the dryer
...Saskatchewan skies
...The taste of pineapple
...Warm showers after a day of being cold
...Encouragment
...Inspiration
...Anticipation
...Answered prayers
...Hearing incredible news about my brother



...Your love

*Screeeeeech!!!*

Metric playing in saskatoon!?! Since when do bands I adore come here?
Im almost too excited I think im gonna pee myself. I got my ticket today!
Sorry im pulling a 12 year old girl fit but...AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

I think im in love...

Double post because quizzes are lame.

So I was cleaning out under my stairs today and besides finding a bunch of boxes full of "goosebumps" books ( which was pretty sweet ) I found some cute childhood pictures I thought Id share with you
because I can...
...and because its creepy

But anyways. Notice how innocent my brother looks....aw cute i dont think he could harm a living thing....but watch as time progresses...

Aw how sweet....

Not sure why hes holding potatoes but he looks happy

Ok....well that one was just weird....( sorry about the pixely ness. you get the idea....hes a fruit)

Look he even made the ugliest snowman ever!
Log appendages and potatoe eyes? How can you go wrong?....Scott proved there was a way

But this is where the terror starts... ( and apparantly the cruddy quality too )

Look at that beyond evil grin!

And here hes totaly going to take out 2 of my cousins....

something must be in the water....

So apparently I've been 'tagged' by Sharee. So i guess i have no choice but to participate

7 Things I would like to do before I die:
1. Fall in love
2. Get married
3. Have a family
4. Travel
5. Finish my life list
6. Find a Career that I love
7. Own a room with a view
(sorry sharee i kept a few of yours)

7 Things I can’t do (yet) :
1. Sew properly
2. Any sports...but soccer when i was a child
3. Move out
4. Go to australia tomorow
5. Snowboard
6. Have good hand eye corridination
7. Sit still

7 things that attract me to blogging:
1. Being able to see what's going on in the lives of friends
2. Its pretty dang addictive
3. Seeing other people's creativity
4. Sharing photos
5. Comments are rad
6. Everyone and there cat has a blog
7. I have nothing better to do

7 things I say most often:
1. Your a weiner
2. Right on
3. No kidding
4. "I win!"
5. Your mom
6. boo
7. your stupid
( im so encouraging )

7 books I love:
1. Red
2. Blue Like Jazz
3. White
4. the Bible
5. Black
6. Monster
7. A wrinkle in time

7 movies I watch over and over:
1. The little rascals
2. my simpsons season 3 dvd
3. My simpsons season 4 dvd
4. The Sandlot
5. Donnie Darko
6. Aladdin
7. Ferris Buhler's Day Off ( I have no choice. Its ok tv ALL the time)

7 people I want to join in too
1. Jess
2. Janelle
3. Nicole
4. Karina
5. Teri
6. Laurel
7. Brooke
8 ( because im a rebel ) anyone else who wants to... no need to be invited...go ahead...do it

Mon-diddily Randomness...i-ness

I never usually find Bizarro funny but this one made me laugh.

On to the randomness.
Just other day I was walking my dog and all of a sudden a thought came to me.
The thought was "Why"
and not a question mark, but exclamation. It's not why of what but why of every thing,
why of what we do and doing,
why of what we believe and don't believe,
why of every action and reaction, why of love, anger, jealousy, pain, hate, compassion, time, space, everything
It's again not a question but a state of wonder, a state one can not explain

Lately I cant even comprehend my thoughts. Everythings just a big traffic jam and I feel my brain just needs to be rebooted...
I dont even know how I feel or what the crap is going on
Someone save me!

But anyways the funny thing about word verification. Isn't the point of this so that spammers won't post to your blog?
Is it like impossible for them to type in the word verification?
"OOh, I was gonna leave a custom made woven basket ad on here but I have to type legullev on here first so never mind."

If you never did. You should. These things are fun. And fun is good. - Dr Suess

Jess watch out for that fi-
*smack*

Oh joy, feeling like your 6 again is really refreshing.
Me Braden and Jess were running around bradens backyard in knee deep snow tripping over who knows what and getting soaked to the bone.
But thats alright. It was fun.

Lately iv been trying to make my days as exciting as humanly possible.
Iv been keeping a "journal" kind of thing focusing only on the good/funny/exciting aspects of my day.
I just wish that I started this earlier because I hate just sitting inside and sulking about how bad my day was instead of going outside to get some fresh air, going nuts, and change my day.
With the journal, Iv found even in my bad days theres always some good that comes along with it. I just have to look harder to find it.
I think its more rewarding that way.

Today is your day. Your mountain is waiting.....

I am a Kalidescope

Ooooh Redberry retreats...How ill miss thee.
Well poo. That might be the last time ill ever get to go there. And that makes me really really sad
But alas good times was had by all.

Highlights ( probably some repeated so I apologize )

-"It was cold out, and the cop told the theif to freeze.......so he jumped into the pool and froze to death...what's with that?"
- some kids joke he made up

-Me hailey and gregs skit ( which we won something in by the way)
"bulbous bouffant...macadamia....gazebo!"

-"Dalmeny...you should have said Dalmeny...Dalmeny...Dalmeny...for your thing...Dalmeny...for your thing...Dalmeny..."-Phil

-YOOOOOOUUUUU SUUUUUCKKK!! - Brittany

-Jess's encounter with magic man

- Magic man ( hes so tricky )

- Killing jess in fooseball...haha

- Being pulled on a trailor thing behind a tractor through a feild with like 2 feet of snow.
The tractor got stuck a couple times and it was freezing...but yet it was really fun

- Taking pictures in the snow

- The random car alarm * random animal noises, yelling and honking* Scared the bejesus out of me. I thought someone was dieing

- Sleep talking
( LAHA!
" dont look at me! dont look at me!"
and kerris ramblings about monkeys)

-scrabble

Does anyone remeber another winter where it snowed this much?
Has saskatchewan ever been this beautiful?
Magnificiant sunsets, sparkling fluffy snow at night , frozen snow covered trees
So beautiful, so incredible. I hate how I take saskatchewan for granted
Nothing like a youth retreat at redberry to appreciate winter scenery

Lately, I've been thinking about You
And lately, I've been dreaming of You
And lately, I can't get You out of my head
Get You out of my head

Something about the ocean
Makes me rise up and praise
Something about the heavens
Makes me stand in awe again
Something about the sunrise
Reminds me of Your faithfulness
Something about the ocean
And I'm lost in love again

I'll sing until I sense a smile
Upon Your great and lovely face
And till I know Your glory's in this place
Your glory's in this place

Nobody is immune to love.

I know I said I wouldnt blog. Its still mostly true.
Im making exceptions for at school when im not supposed to be doing homework because this is my only source of entertainment. And besides its a way to get my thoughts out there.

Anyways, for a dialectical thinking paper I have to do for social ( woo )
Im researching time travel. I know it sounds like an "out there" topic. But I found some really intresting stuff. Im not going to explain the whole concept here because I wouldnt make you guys sit through that.
But something I found cool was:
Imagine that today you travel back in time to August 2001 and warn the authorities that the World Trade Centre in New York is going to be attacked on September 11th.
They take the necessary action and as time unfolds the disaster is eventually averted.
You are still in August 2001 at this point and the disaster has not yet been prevented, but it will be eventually because of the chain of events that you have put into motion, and you now wish to return to the time you came from.
Here comes the Big Question - can you return to where you came from?
Where you came from the attack had taken place, therefore where you came from no longer exists!
If you do return to your original time, the World Trade Centre will still be standing (because you prevented the attack), so it cannot be where you came from.
You will have changed the course of history, not just for yourself, but for the entire world.
The question is, will the World Trade Centre still be standing when you return to your starting time?


Sorry I find stuff like that extremely intruiging.

But anyways. My form is off to Australia tomorow and the redberry retreat is approaching fast. I have a feeling this is going to be a good week. but this is definatly my last redberry retreat.

I mean Grade 12 is great but it kind of sucks to be the year for "lasts"
My last semester, My last year in youth, my last year to be a kid/teenager ( basically the same thing it feels haha ) my last year living at home ( for at least 3 years anyways , who knows I could be one of "those" people who live with there parents until there fourty)

But im also looking forward for this next year to be my year of "firsts" So I guess the pros outweigh the cons this time. But I cant looks too far into the future yet. I need to calm myself and focus on the present.

Ew one last comment for the day. have you seen those new ipod headphones...
Im using them right now ( not mine ) But Im figuring at this rate people arent going to have the sense of hearing.
These headphones are buried into the back of your ears feeling like there almost to the point of touching your brain. Its clear and loud but ...Probably not good for you.

Ipods are a menace to society. But yet. There so cool!

The most unintellegent conversation in the world

So today I found myself talking about weather or not you could marry space. I figured since there are no laws in space this would be possible.
I figure Mark Reddekop in 10 years is going to marry space and thus run the universe. Just because hes weird like that.

But sorry for stealing your precious braincells with that bit of information

To the point
Lately Iv found myself aimlessly wandering through life when this is in fact the very year not to do that. Just walking about without a thought in my mind not knowing what ill be doing next minute let alone next year
Im delaying everything.
Delaying getting a job.
Delaying sending in my school application and not to mention delaying my physical so I can send in my australia form.
Basically delaying life
And I dont even care. I wish I did...But I just figure its nothing to stress over. And when I realize it is. It will be last minute or too late.
Iv always been one to not care about anything, not stress out and not worry about anything. The most easygoing person youll ever meet.
(Someone else: "steph I crashed your car"
Me:"....meh")
And yeah, I like the attitude for the most part until it comes to things that are actually important.
I think this is my way of saying I dont want to grow up. I dont want to start taking things in to my own hands.
Am I ready for it? I think so. I just need to act like it.

Frick guys I graduate in what? 4 months. And in less than a year ill be across the world for 6 months. Then off to regina for 2 years.

When did I grow up so fast?

Someone buy me a monkey

Me and Hailey took a little trip over to value village...
This is why value village owns all of you....Yeah....3 bucks for a DINOSAUR sweater??, how can you go wrong?
you cant. Thats how

And as many of you know. Casey and Cody are in nicaragua right now with YFC building a house for a disadvantaged family. But aside from the hard work they put in they get some time to have a bunch of fun.
And im extremly jealous, Look at this!

Why cant I play with a monkey?

Watch out for monkey germs!

A normal valentines day....or was it?

The answer is no.

So my day went from waking up and planning to build a snowman to letting jess take scissors to my hair.

Some of you may ask what was I thinking. Or if I was at all.
I wasn't really thinking but who cares. Its just hair.
But it actually turned out better than I thought
...Pretty short...
But better than I thought.

Im very trusting because hey. Its just hair. But sometimes I think I may be too trusting. One of these days im going to let a monkey at my hair and THEN ill be sorry

Yay for unexpected valentines day meanderings.

I think I made good use of this pointless holiday.
2 points for me.

The ultimate equation...

Driving with the windows down
+
Several cups of coffee
+
Evening walks
+
Dinner with my brother
+
Amazing weather
+
Lame little kid movies in the expensive theatre
=
A satifying day

I know your always throwing kisses from the sky

Well that sucks. my week off isnt starting to fantastic.

I go to put a downpayment on my dress today, I dont see it in the front like it normally is. So I go back to ask if they still had it
"oh some girl came in and bought it about 2 hours ago today"
"oh...."
"We might have another one in the back just a second"
*starting to get real worried*
*brings out a huge one*
" I found one. but this is the only one left and it wont fit you, the size is 16. we could alter it to fit you though"



Boo altering. Because costs a fortune.
That dress that the other girl bought fit me almost perfect :(
Crap.

Something is out to get my family this week.
My brother dropped his wallet outside a friends house last night and they took everything except his drivers license including $260, his cards, a recipt he could have claimed ( for some reason ) and his health card.
Sweeeet.

I hope the week gets better...the week is young

Is this to have in or to go?!?

Hahaha...funniest night in a long long time.
The movie Just friends = halarious
Everytime I go to Tim Hortons = even more halarious

*everyone walking into Timmys**note not everyones in the door yet*
Cashier: Is this to have in or to go!?!
Me: uh.....wh...i dont know*tries not to laugh* *runs to the back of the group and laughs out loud*
Meanwhile Brennan was trying not to be rude by laughing. but seeing me laughing he also laughs out loud
Me: She didnt even let us come all the way in! We didnt even order. Whats her problem


It was like coming into one of those crappy japanese restraunts and having the person at the front yelling at you in a panic even though the place has no one in it
HOW MANY!?
woah...uh...2? why are you yelling
COME! follow me follow me! free samples?

Iv never felt so forced to order that fast in my life

Later on:

*as were leaving*
Same cashier- Have a good morning.
Me-....Uh....you too?


Hoorah long break. Long week break.
Today all I had was English ( which was the only class I had work in)
Then social and mrs shatz decided she didnt want to make us write notes so we bummed around
Second english class we did nothing
Spare
Sitting/laying down in the sun on my second spare
Sweeeet day...


Im going into the city to go put a deposit on my grad dress tomorow. Ill try to sneak a picture or two

Have a grand week everyone

Shake it up

Im tired of living in a box

Im sick of everyone being content sitting in their perfect barbie doll packages hanging onto there perfect boyfriends while they sit on their perfect little shelves that theyve turned into their whole world. Never to come down again because God forbid that would present a risk uncertainty or unsecurity
Theyre like manniquiens with their trendy outfits, poseable arms and permanant fake smiles.

Everyones living a repeatative life, doing the same routine everyday.
We only do what they are familiar with, nothing too out of the ordinary in life in our homes in the church and even in the school, Doing only what people tell us to do.

I wish someone around here was willing to take risks, Be bold and do something diffrent. Shake things up. Make a statement of some kind.

Maybe thats going to have to start with me

I think Gods givin me a passion to do something bold and unexpected , I dont even know what it is though. ( Not by myself no, But with a group of people )
I just want some people to make a statement by doing something good in peoples lives. Maybe a whole community, maybe just one person. Maybe now, Maybe later.
Ill have to wait and see
Most of all I want people to look and think, Those people are nuts, But in a good way.

I just want to shake things up a little.

I hope life isnt a big joke, because i dont get it...

Today was terrible.
But im alright with that.

Ill just slap on a smile and paitently wait for tomorrow.

It feels like something big and exciting is going to happen.
Maybe I only feel like that because my internal clock tells me tomorow is thursday when it is in fact friday.
I love it when my head is behind.





I think the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Because, forget it little friend
- Jack Handy


If I were to kick this can... How many ants do you think will attack me?
-Me

I'll fight like hell to hide that i've givin up...

you want to bury me under a mound of shopping bags
like it'd really make a difference
or make up for your disinterest
I'm a bill you pay
I'm a contract you can't break
and it's like I'm under water
or on an endless escalator
I just go up and up but I don't ever reach the top

It's alright, Cause there's beauty in the breakdown...

Incendiary glance
Be come and collide in me
Zoom in enhance hold
While I go helplessly sky high
Magic eye sugar rushing don't stop

I must be dreaming or
We're onto something
Hey just watcha make me for
I don't fall in love lawlessly
I must be dreaming or
Pinch me to waking
So undeniably yours
As long as I'm losing it
I'm losing it
I'm losing it
I must be dreaming
I must be dreaming
I must be dreaming



Last night was funner than I expected.
Im glad I did it. Very glad.
I have now added a song to my list that the memory that goes along with it will forever be burned into my brain. And its a good feeling.

I love the ocean. I think more people should be allowed to live there.

Sundays are so boring...My brothers home and I cant do things until hes gone.
Not like we talk anyways.
I want to go toboganning.


And remeber. nothing is so shocking as to realize you are an elephant with extra legs.

Who knew Starbucks cups could be inspiring?

Be exceptional. Make tremendous efforts to be extraordinary. What a privilege to be here on the planet to contribute your unique donation to humankind. Just make sure you do so....
-- Shelby Lynne

I find this quote on almost every Starbucks cup I get....Does anyone else? Cause I feel they mass produce this one more so than the others.

Combat baby, Come back baby

Who would have thought that the monday that exams started could be so incredible relaxing...
Not me.
I had a strangly good day today. Just the day that I needed to unwind while doing something productive.
Im one of those people who hate to stay in all day. But today it was great.

I woke up at 11. Had a shower, ate lunch. Went to school for my one afternoon exam.
I then noticed how incredibly beautiful it was outside then Finished early.

Then I came home and set up my "study station" composed of tons of books and papers tossed among my stereo speakers that are lying across my bed blaring my favorite tunes.

I opend up my window and curtains. Lay down and listened to the water trickling down from my evestrough and the wind blowing through the trees outside my window. Drinking maybe one too many cups of coffee ( while studying of course)

break time. ( not a coffee related break )

I go to burn a cd and in the midst of doing that. I discoverd a new band. Hoorah ( The new pornographers = great )

I come back to my room and put on my new favorite cd. Almost fall asleep while reading the stone angel. ( which isnt that unusal )
And now im here. Blogging

Who knows what the evening will bring but im thinking it cant be much worse. Ill probaby go for a walk around town. Well see.



EDIT:
i found this quiz in my inbox. And i remeberd how fun it was. So im doing it again

TEN Random Things About Me:
10. I am allergic to everything I touch
9. Im addicted to coffee.
8. I played a guy in the musical OKLAHOMA!
7. I watch simpsons everyday
6. I love the color green
5. I put quarters in peoples parking meters
4. Metric is my favourite band
3. I love travelling
2. I always weat rings
1. I can almost never say no

NINE Places I want to visit:
9. New York
8. Toronto
7. Vancouver
6. London, England
5. Paris, France
4. Greece
3. Australia
2. New Zealand
1. Italy

EIGHT Things I want to do before I die:
8. Run my own buisness
7. Base jump
6. Not have any regrets
5. Love someone
4. Be LOVED by someone
3. Own a digital SLR
2. Learn to read
1. Live long enough to see bell bottom pants come back for a third time

SEVEN Ways to win my heart:
7. Don't let me believe my own b.s.
6. Take an interest in my crappy music
5. Not only tolerate me being a goof but be a goof with me
4. Laugh at my lame jokes
3. ...Gifts are always nice
2. Be yourself
1. Like me for who I am

SIX Things I believe In:
6. The people around me
5. That the Conservatives will rule this Country like kings until long after I'm dead
4. Laughter is the best medicine
3. I wont die by getting eaten by a shark
2. George Bush is a Nazi
1. Jesus, God and the devil

FIVE Things I'm afraid of:
5. The dark
4. Tractors
3. Getting hurt
2. Clowns
1. Manequins

FOUR of my Favorite Items in my bedroom:
4. My stereo
3. My guitar
2. My cds
1. My pictures

THREE Things I do everyday:
3. Eat
2. Sleep
1. Laugh

TWO Things I am trying not to do right now:
2. Study
1. Get distracted by the TV

ONE person I want to see right now:
1. Thats for me to know..and you to eventually find out

"If I ever start referring to these as the best years of my life, remind me to kill myself"

The sunrise or the sunset, hold your sadness like a puppet
Keep putting on the play
But everything you do is leading to the point
Where you just won’t know what to do
And the moment that you're laughing
There is someone there who will be laughing louder than you
So it’s true, the trick is complete
You've become everything you said you never would be
You’re a fool, you're a fool

I've grown tired of holding this pose
I feel more like a stranger each time I come home
So I'm making a deal with the devils of faith
Saying, let me walk away, please

We must blend into the choir, sing a static with the whole
We must memorize nine numbers and deny we have a soul
And to this endless race for property and privilege to be won
We must run, we must run, we must run

Time take us forward.
Relief from this longing.
They can land that plane on my heart;
I don’t care.

Oh good ol conor oberst. He speaks the words of my very unpoetic mind.

Newfound zest for life.

I am excited for life

I was thinking alot today and venting to some people who can relate to me in so many ways. About how all I want is a change. Im so sick of the same thing.
Im not content with life at the moment.
Im not content with school or friends. ( I love my friends dont get me wrong, theres just something thats missing. Maybe its them? )
Im not content with the lack of change.
I need change, But the people around me refuse to change with me.

There content, and im stuck in a rut.
Do I leave them all behind? Do I drag them kicking and screaming with me into my next stage of life?
Neither.
Im moving on. But I'll still keep in touch. If we go out seperate ways, Well. So be it. But its time for a change.

At the end of this year is going to be the biggest change of my life. I dont know who im still going to know after this year. And that scares me.
God has placed my heart across the world. Across the world in a city called Townsville ( ha ha I know ) Australia to do DTS with YWAM. And I have to go there to reunite with it before im complete again, and thats so exciting for me.

After I get back from Australia I am applying for a course in Regina at SIAST for 2 years. Applied Photography.
Everythings ready to be sent away for both applications except for a doctors report. Then its final
No turning back.

And thats exhilerating. Im so freaking excited.
Ill be sad to see my class/school/camp mates go. Those who I dont keep in touch with. But in a year, Im moving on to my next stage of life and theres no holding back now.

Dont you worry my faithful true friends. Ill keep in contact with you the whole time. Im mainly talking about my friends who I only talk to in school and see when we are in a group of friends.
Im not leaving you guys, my best buds behind. You are too important to me to leave behind.
You know who you are.


T minus 159 days until grad
Then T minus 361 days until my life takes flight.


If only it would come sooner....

"there stands a broken man" " Its playground everywhere but in his heart"

Once again im going to poison you with my terrible attempts at poetry from a long time ago. followed by some song lyrics that reflect my life at the moment. As with every other post in the blogging world.
Maybe ill post something worthwile for you guys to read later. Something you might understand more. But for the time being this is the only way I know how.
cheers
from someone trying not to come off as an emo girl.

Nowheresville

I come home to a house
Filled with empty thoughts
Cold dreams
I want out
I need out
But I can’t
For I have no where to go

I strive to see reality
Outside of this one horse town
I’m not going anywhere but here
Iirrational wishes to leave
Greetings,
From Nowheresville

I’m trapped in a glass box
Filled with lies in my own little world
Of fantasies and dreams
Here I can’t have any of that
Unless I leave to where you are

Alternate dimensions
I missed my last stop
Nowheresville trapped me inside that box

Im stuck in this Nowheresville town
Theres no other place I can be
are you watching from up high down here in this place
i'm trapped, so can you free me?



and finally the song lyrics. ( im sure every last person in highschool can relate to these )

Goodbye, goodbye
To all the fake people in my life
I never wanted you around me
So be on your way now
You better think twice
Before you let people in your life
Because when you put down
No one is around you
You got a case of the fake people
A case of the fake people

Whos left to save the heros?

Heartbound and angry
Silent yet screaming
Somewhere out there is the paradise im dreaming

These unspoken words
Say goodbye to summers things
Im finding its hard to find beauty in simple things

Dandilions in the winter
Snowflakes in the spring
Forever deemed to be an ugly thing



Where did that come from? I...Dont know.
I guess its how im feeling lately. In a sense.
Interpret it how you'd like. Its for you to decide

So...Today was fun.

Negative.
I woke up this morning and I tried to roll over. It was then I realized that if I moved my neck the smallest bit it would send a lightning bolt of pain everywhere and I felt like my head was going to pop off.
But, of course. I sucked it up and went for half of first class.
Halfway through I came to my senses and realized I couldn't last the whole day not being able to move my neck. if I did that equalled excruciating pain. For real.
So I come home. Sit on the couch all day watching bloody tv with a heat/cold beanbag around my neck contstantly having to get up for phone calls and to re-cold/heat my beanbag which wasnt fun because that hurt alot.
But im better now. Well ever since 1'ish and I would have gone back to school if I had classes in the afternoon. But alas I did not.
And as a result of that my dad says that I cant go to youth because I didnt go to my two classes today....can you say sweet?...and rip off.
I know I can
Thus concludes the best day ever.

When the rain comes

When the rain comes it seems that everyone has
gone away
When the night falls you wonder if you shouldn't
find someplace
To run and hide / Escape the pain
But hiding's such a lonely thing to do

I can't stop the rain / From falling down on you again
I can't stop the rain / But I will hold you 'til it goes away

When the rain comes you blame it on the things that
you have done
When the storm fades you know that rain must fall
on everyone
Rest awhile / it'll be alright
No one loves you like I do

When the rain comes / I will hold you

I was at Jared and Cherises wedding today and Colin and Kelly sang this song by Third day.
Wow.
It didnt even just hit me in a husband wife kind of deal. But even more so, it hit me as this is Gods song to me. ( well not just me of course. But it spoke to me that way )
Incredible.
Im put in this certain situation for a reason.
There are going to be trials through it. Thats not a maybe. Thats inevitable.
But the great thing is that Gods not gonna make me do it on my own.
Hes standing with me in the rain the whole time just so He can protect me from what had to happen in order for me to grow.

This should have been known to me a long...long time ago. And it was. Its just easy to forget you know?
Its easy to forget im not alone. Its easy to forget no one loves me like He does.
Its just easy to forget.
And He gave me that simple reminder that I needed.
Im not alone

Something isnt right here...

Its the new year. And something just doesnt feel right.
I dont know what the heck is wrong with me! Everything seems so weird lately.
I'd LIKE to blame it on everybody else changing. But I know that the problem is me.
Its one of those feelings where you cant explain it. And if I tried everyone would think I was a lunatic.
Iv been neglecting everything that makes me happy.
All but one thing and I dont even do it out of joy anymore hardly...My creativity is gone, and I dont know where it went or if ill ever get it back.
Im just getting sick of doing the same old things, knowing the same old people, seeing the same old things, and dealing with the same old problems that dont seem like they matter anymore
Dont get me wrong. I love my friends but I dont know. I thirst for more.
Maybe all I need to do to get my creativity back is to break out of this monotonus cycle.
Im bored. I need something fresh and new. Something I havent done or seen.
Its hard to find that kind of thing when your stuck in a hole with the glorious name of "Dalmeny"

I want to break free, Iv got to break free