oxymoron is a funny word.

"We have forgotten the importance of passion, and traded it for reason and life plans that have nothing to do with how God made us and everything to do with what society expects from us..." - Lis Grozell

i cant count how many times iv almost compromised my plans to do something i love, to hold back and do something someone else would love.
im glad i havent been totally emersed into that mindset but the funny thing is im actually working at a job people want me to. to go towards something i love. which is an oxymoron in itself.
but hey. it works for me. at least im eventually going where i want to be. which is more than most people can say.








now for something completely random...you know...to lighten the mood

Baby its cold outside.

I finally had "peace of mind" while i was driving through the winter fog tonight.
Everything iv been thinking about just faded away like the streetlights i passed in the mist.
Smooth jazz and a peaceful ride homewas all it took.
I haven't felt this great since before i left. Its getting so hard for me to relax and let things drift off lately. and iv finally taken all that and left it back on the highway.
I love how nature can do that to me. I miss the nights i could just take a walk down the street or a drive to the city on a still night and be left alone with my thoughts.
Most of the time im glad i live in a small town so i dont have to hear city noises when i walk. to some people thats comforting. but i perfer to be able to hear the one guy across town start his car and drive off when your several blocks away. and not because the car is loud by any means. its just theres no other noise.
if your a city person. you've got to experince the stillness of the country. really.


The best part about tonight is that the thick winter fog in the evening always makes for a great hoar frost display in the morning. always a treat, especially in the eyes of a self proclaimed photographer.
Arming my batteries now. Too bad my Nikon doesnt come for 3 more days. Oh well. I suppose this will be ol' Kodaks last time to shine.

flat

lately i feel like iv been getting up in the morning just so i can run into a brick wall the entire day.
Nothing i do in my retardadly routine filled days end up accomplishing anything. I do the same frickin thing day in day out.

wake up.
shower.
go to karbeas.
serve customers.
clean the restraunt/reset everything
drive home
sit for max 1/2 hour
drive to the barn playhouse
serve more customers
clear plates
re set
drive home
sleep

seriosly. thats what the last 2 weeks have consisted of. every day. nothing else and nothing ever done out of order. just the same thing every day and im begining to break. something in my brain is just going to go off and im going to snap and go bezerk.
im the kind of person who cannot handle routine to this extent. i need to DO something but i have incredibly no time to do it in.
i feel ill.
only 5 more working days at karbeas and 4 more at the barnplayhouse
i do hope i can last that long

soon i will be the proud owner of....

the nikon d40 with a 18-55 kit lense and the 55-200 VR zoom lense

Aw yeah. steal of a deal i might say. i dont care if no one knows what im talking about. this is FLIPPIN sweet!!!

heres some pictures

the only good that comes from helping your grandma move

seriosly. pure gold
i found this touque that says MILK MILK MILK MILK on it and a warped coke bottle that i filled with gumballs. can life get better? i submit that it CANNOT

mad ramblings.

Whats this? im training another waitress.??....uhm. who said i was quliafied to do such a thing? Im confused because i wasnt even asked to do it. i was just like....left to do it.
me and her were the only ones working and none of my managers were there so i was like...uhm...i guess....IM training you.....weird...... I bet im going to mess her up or something...in the gangsta way of speaking.
Get this. I also convinced my 45 year old co worker to dress up with me on halloween. haha. How did I become this position of influence? Im taking this workplace downhill, kicking and screaming while im at the helm....
Not that im really at the helm at this point. I am still subject to be fired if they so wish. But the odds are on my side because theres only 2 day time waitresses and if they fire me the manager will have to work every day shift EVER haha!
man...i could do anything by this point. maybe thats why everyones cooperating with my crazy demands...like alot of halloween candy for us in a bowl in the back....CRAZY i tell you..

Ok maybe this mad takeover isnt taking off how you all thought and probably expected. but conversative co workers in a mouse suit and candy for me to eat is my idea of a job well done.

strange encounters

Somedays I wonder if im just being a waste of space.
You know those days, where you always seem to be in the way of someone in one way or another. wether its driving, walking or trying to live.

Hmm what else could i blog about other than work? my complete lack of creativity and inpiration that seemed to have left with the leaves perhaps? or maybe about the fact that saskatchewan is horribly ugly right now, what with its complete lack of color and dreary skies.
october stinks, although i did see a very beautiful sunset today, too bad i saw it come and go through the window at work.

Thats how life seems lately. Watching everything come and go while im stuck working. Im serious i think i live at karbeas. If anyone needs to reach me. ill be there. might as well send my mail there while your at it.
2 people have quit recently because my works closing down so they ( like sensible people ) went out to find another steady job. leaving me with ALL the long..long brutal shifts at the restraunt.
But its not all bad. I get to meet some intresting people throughout the days and get to know regulars ( which is something iv always wanted to do )

which reminds me. weird story for the day:
Some man walked in today and he looks at me while im pouring him coffee and he goes
"
hey so i bet its nice working here huh? the tips ok?"
me- yeah well, considering i dont have to drive in very far to go to work
man - oh yah. is that why your not working at the hotel anymore?

uhmm...how the hell did he know i worked THERE, it wasnt even customer service for one, so i didnt see ANYbody and for petes sake i dont even know this man, iv never seen him in my life!!

So i just smiled and said, hey i think i have to do some stuff in the back. sorry ill be back out in a bit
And hid there. i think i have a stalker. haha and SUPRISE how old do you think he is!?...yeah. 60.....its always them....
seriosly. so creepy.

You know it will be a good day when...

you wake up at 6am to a glass shattering by your head and the shards landing on your sheets.


Yeah. I dont know how it happend either, maybe thats good luck? but judging how unwell today went im guessing its not...

ASPARAGUS!!!

they get crappier as they go along but its still kind of cool, silly asians ( his facial expressions and the last instrument is HALARIOUS!!!)
and it adds to the halarity at the fact that he isnt speaking english

Who likes Aussie accents?? ( Also...a plug )

for some moments in life there are no words.

some people have got to realize some of us are just trying to get through the day without breaking something....and I hope they come to terms with the fact that life's too short to be pissed off all the time, its just not worth it. If people spend the majority of their lives grumbling and complaining, dragging their feet, eyes fixed on the ground. Their going to miss it.


But tomorrow can only get better. unless i fall into a pit of spikes.



(post script, never EVER snap at waitresses. or whistle for their attention. For i am not a slave nor your serving wench)

Sometimes we speak to change the world. other times we speak to keep the world from changing us.

I was looking through my notes from DTS when i was camping and i found this scribbled in the middle of my book. Its a peice of a book I was reading at the time and it really inspired me to live my life to the fullest. And live out something Iv always dreamed.
The book...I forget what it was called. Thats not the point.
this is what I had written down


We hang out with kids and help them with their homework in our living room. And jump in open fire hydrants during the hot summer days
We share with folks that need it. Folks drop in all day to say "hi" and have a safe place to cry or get some water or a blanket.
We run a community store out of our house. People come in and fill a grocery bag full of clothes for a dollar. or find a couch, bed, or a fridge. Sometimes people donate beautiful things to share. sometimes people donate used toothbrushes
We reclaim abandon lots and make gardens out of the concrete wreckage around us. we plant flowers in old Tv screens and computer monitors.
We see friends waste away from drug addiction and on a good day. someone is set free.
We see police officers scare people. and on a good day we find an officer who will play wiffle ball with his billy club.
We rehab abandon houses.
We try to make ugly things beautiful and make murals instead of violence.
We learn imagination and sharing. We share life to our neighbors and try to take care of each other.
We hang out on streets. we get fined for distributing. We go to jail for sleeping under the stars. We win in court. We have friends in prison and on death row.
We wrestle to free ourselves from macro charity and distant acts of charity that serve to legitimize apathetic lifestyles of good intentions but rob us of the gift of community
We visit rich people and have them visit us
We preach. we prophesy and we dream together about how to awaken the church from her slumber.
Sometimes we speak change to the world. other times we speak to keep the world from changing us.
Were about simply ending poverty. Not just managing it.
We give people fish, teach them how to fish We tear down walls that have been put up around the fish pond and we figure out who polluted it.
We fight terrorism. The terrorism within each of us. The terrorism of corporate greed.of american consumerism. Of war.
We are not passivist hippies but passionate lovers who abhor passivity and voilence.
We spend our lives activly resisting everything that destroys life. wether that be terrorism or the war on it.
We try to make the world safe. as long as millions live in poverty so few can live as they wish.
We belive in another way of life-The kingdom of God-which stand in opposition to the principalities and powers and rulers of the dark world
( ephesians 6 : 12 )

We are a lazarus generation! rising from the apathetic deadness of the world. A church that is awakening of her silent slumber

An ode to being thankful

Friends. The ones that I can count on to be there and listen. or if need be. cause a random ruckus
Daydreams. That help me get through the day
Dreams. That help me get through the night
Aspirations. That help get me through life.
Seasons. That give me a sign that things will change and also prove theres beauty in the most unexpected places
Dryers. That keep my pants warm
Jobs. That gets me closer to my destination
Planes. That although are horrible. they get me places I dream to be.
Cameras. That help me catch the beauty of Gods creation
Creativity of others. That give me something to strive towards
New friends. That have the same passions as me
Vision. That give me a goal to run towards
New cds - That do not aid me in saving my money, but sound nice to my ears
Pop - That sits nicely in my tummy most of the time
Photos - That take me back to a certain place in time
Music - That does the same
Good company - That lets you forget about everything but that moment your spending with them
Phone calls - That are from friends you may never see again, but youll never forget
Extended family dinners - That are always overcrowded and awkward
Meeting new people - That are intrested in what you do and who you are
Dinosaur toys - That overcrowd my desktop
Mittens and scarves - That arent really needed this time of year but are nice anyways
Dummy strings - That delay the enevitable loss of my mittens

And for all that. I am thankful.









ps. It gets dark ridiculously fast this time of year.

buy this car to drive to work. drive to work to pay for this car

Ah, Yes. I am finally emerging from my winter hibernation that was Australia.
If you followed my other blog. Contrary to popular belifs i am no longer on the tip of Australia. Iv moved on and done other things. Travelling home being one of them.

Yes. Home. Although seasons are nice. I would gladly take the next flight over to the land down under with minimal notice. Not to be a pooper or anything. haha.

But seriosly. If I havent already raved about it to you. Australia was fantastic. Beyond words. Which is why im planning on going back. Now before i hide from the showers of rocks and other debris I must say I do realize everyone and their cat is going to Australia lately. and it might seem like im jumping on the "band wagon" so to speak.
well...so what?


Anyways back to the time that is now. Thanksgiving is upon us! AH yes, my favorite time of year. not because of the food like most people ( although turkey pretty much is the best ) i absolutly am in love with autumn. and this is the BEST week for it. or cutting it close anyways seeing as autumn vanishes faster then it came.
Nothing more beautiful then autumn and if you disagree i will kick you in the back and make you live in eternal winter. Im just that mean.
seriosly. its mitten season. mitten for comfort season and not out of nessesity and fear of your fingers turning black and falling off! Hurrah hurrah!

Also. I have a job! yes indeedily doo. I am the most cliche proffession a girl could have. aw yah. im a waitress! hold your applause please.
at a family restraunt none the less. the lowest form of waitress there is. id say iv struck it big.
haha but its not all that bad. although i DO get the same joke hourly
Me- would you like your bill?
Man - No thanks, you can keep it
or
give it to that table over there *laughs*
me- .....haaha....*puts bill on table and walks off *

And i just had a week off and its back to the working world tommorow unfortunatly, its always the worst going back to work on a saturday after a week of hanging about. Oh well. Iv got to do something in the meantime.
or maybe i could cut off my finger working and get a huge cash settlement and never have to work again. Boy would that be sweet,

well...im sure theres a downside im not seeing.

retired

For a bit.
Ill still be posting here once and a while. but most of my posting will be done on my australia blog

www.talesofasaskatchewanpirate.blogspot.com

And i also have new photos up on my flickr page for you lovely people to see.

www.flickr.com/photos/saskatchewanpirate

one of the first things ill be tempted to do...

truth in song form

Yet I have a hard time remembering all the things that I should remember. And a hard time forgetting the all things that I am supposed forget
- mewithoutyou - carousels

Original prankster

Victim - Brennans car "the probe"
Vandals - Me and Carrie
Result? Halarity

Ima miss him...

nothing says im leaving sooner than i want to, like people starting to say their final goodbyes...


its weird. my last familiar hug is closer than I think.

JET LAAAAAAG!!!!

Iv had the same feeling in the pit of my stomach literally 24/7 for the last 2 weeks.
I dont know if its the good anxious or the bad anxious. or maybe my stomach knows in advance that my socks are going to get blown off to the moon and my head just doesnt realize it yet.

This whole thing is so surreal I cant belive im actually leaving in 10 days. leaving everything i know and everything im comfortable with behind and jumping head first into a world i know nothing about with no one i know around me. and its kind of exciting.

Although, Im not sure how im supposed to feel about a certain person having an intrest in being with me only because im leaving, they never made an effort before when they should have. even this effort is a pretty sad attempt. theyve had forever to try to get to know me. why awkwardly rob me of my few days left in Canada with sad attempts to bond?
*sigh*
I dont know what to do with myself. im more stressed out then iv ever been in my entire existance of living and its awesome

2 weeks left ( 15 days )

So...I leave on the 28th.
If anyones intrested I leave at 9:10 am on march 28th. from the saskatoon airport. and get back 4:20 * snicker * ( or something ) on september 5th


See the thing is. Im done work on friday, so that leaves the remainder of the time for me to get my crapola together and visit people I wont see in a while . And generally most of these days are already booked with my last shinanigans with friends before I go away ( expecially the weekends ). So, if you guys want. make your reservations with me now. haha
but seriously. Leave a comment on which day/time works best for you and ill fit you in hopefully, or even call me if you wish.

I want to see everyone. i repeat EVERYONE before I go. so if you read this PLEASE comment if you want to hang out before I leave for Oz, mmKAY!?

Well weve managed to fend off cabin fever for a couple hours. what do you propose we do now?
...........I say we dress the snowmen.
agreed.

now on a totally unrelated subject

Dear Jesus,
Your funny.
Amen.



Ps. Thanks

mewithoutYou > Connor Oberst ( im sorry )

Raaaah i know these are song lyrics. but for real. They are the best song lyrics iv ever heard EVER.

Not one motion of her gesture could I forget
The prettiest bag lady I ever met
Pushing her cart in the rain
Then gathering plastic and glass
She watched the day pass
Not hour by hour
But pain by pain
If I was a basket filled with holes
Then she was the sand I tried to hold
And ran out behind me
As I swung with some invisible hands

I stopped believing, you start to move
She was like wine turned to water then turned back to wine
I stopped my leaving and the better man bloomed
And you can pour us out and we won't mind

I was dead, then alive
She was like wine turned to water and turned back to wine
You can pour us out, we won't mind
A scratch around the mouth of the glass
My life is no longer mine

If you're still looking for a blanket
Sweetie, I'm sorry, I'm no sort of fabric
But if you need a tailor
Then take your torn shirt, and stumble up my stairs
And mumble your pitiful prayers
And in your tangled night's sleep, our midnight needles go to work
Until all comfort and fear flows in one river
Down on the shelf by the mirror where you see yourself whole

And it makes you shiver

Our lives are not our own
Even the wind lays still
All I felt was fire and cold
And movement, movement
If they ask you for a sign of the Father
Tell them it's movement, movement and repose

Calvin and Hobbies "FTW" !

Where everything was beautiful and nothing hurt

I was alive like this once. belive it or not, and now times turned me into something dead and unsatisfying like wine turned into water.
I long for that freedom and ignorance again. And not the bad kind of ignorance either. It was a beautiful thing.


And so you'll be to me. My memories of childhood, When I was once free

I hate not being close to anyone anymore...

3, 2, 1 liftoff..... In 35 days.

Im sick and im tired. Literally.
Im sick and im tired. Figurativly

Im sick and tired of this painfully slow and at the same time ultra hyper-speed waiting game that leaves my stomach doing triple backflips whenever the thought of leaving crosses my mind. Or is it the thought of NOT leaving. Probably.

Im just about ready to leave this snowy unwonderland and go to my paradise forever. no strings attached. I want to arrive in my plane, get over jet lag and give my stomach a rest and sleep easy knowing im finally there. I just want everything to be taken care of well before I leave.

I did get my passport in the mail today. which I wasnt expecting.

Somehow I cant shake a phrase Les once said to me from my mind, Theres probably a reason for that....

And I know your all probably thinking " OH steph! at least you get to go!" But you get a little impatient when you've been waiting over a year for where your going to be in a little over a month ( hopefully ) And its expecially stressful because you didnt get to go last time.

On another note. Isnt it awesome I only get 1/2 hour to myself today which will be spent packing for a youth retreat at camp Kadesh this weekend? Yee hoo. Did someone say only female sponsor!?

Thats ok though. Im actually kind of looking forward to it. I might be able to polish up on my "photography skillz" and all you more than patient people will finally get to see some new stuff from me.
Besides. Those kids can be fun.

And now for something completly diffrent (Some questions to entertain)

Its been quite a while since a normal post, no?


Lately Iv been asking myself alot of questions. Asking other people questions and most of all asking God questions. and im never really expecting an answer from any of them. Most of them I dont even want answers to.

Why have I been so greatly blessed with such good friends, good times, and most of all good people who care? I totally dont deserve it.

Where has the time gone?Why is it that when you want time to slow down almost to a stop, life throws you into hyper speed? Even though im looking forward to Australia I just want life to slow down for a second so I can clear my head and appreciate what I wont have when im gone.

Why am I doing daycare? I hate other peoples kids, What a stupid idea.

Why cant I ever say how I feel? Maybe its the fact no one asks. Maybe its the fact that people have but I can never sense they really care.

Why would i ignore something as important as whats best for me? Why would I choose rest over healing? Why would I choose an extra hour of sleep over renewal? Dont ask me. Im an Anderson.

Why why why why why does routine have to have a horrible grip on my life? Theres nothing like routine to drain all the drive and creativity out of my body, nothing like routine to ruin my days and weeks, nothing like routine to make me a miserable blob of self pity.






And most of all. Why are you so good to me, when i basically ignore you?

polishing up on my non existant "skillz"

Ill be convulsing for days
In this hole Iv prefected for myself
I am screaming out for salvation
while strapping my feet to the roots below
because secretly Id like to stay
in this pretty train wreck
Iv now made my home

ilcheesecake

One day , while Steph was minding her own buisness. Jess decided to be a big jerk face and flip her the bird.

So naturally. Steph retaliated.

Oh yeah??

YEAH!

Pow! right in the kisser!

I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT!

Jess then plays the "beyonce" card. "Oh no you di-int!" says Steph

Kablamo!

Jess gets an idea...........Oh NO! not a cat in the face!!

Thats it, Stephs had enough, it was time to pull out the big guns

What in the world is that? says Jess

BEHOLD! the majesty of....BISCOTTI Oh no! Biscotti! my only kryptonite! How did you know!?

DARN YOU BISCOTTIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh no! what have I done! she was my best friend!!!*sob sob*

HAH! im just kidding stephie! See look! Alll better!
Lets make some cheesecake!

Lets never fight again.
You could say THAT again

My moms the luckiest wife ever.

I mean. who wouldnt want to get a card like this on valentines.

an ode to valentines ( only not )

1. Name one person who made you smile today?
...i wasnt really around anyone today.....how about. my dad. when he gave my chocolate kisses as an "early valentines present"

2. What were you doing at 8 this morning?
Sleeping.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
Driving my mom home from work. watching the northern lights....as i was driving home from the city...haha im a little dangerous

4. What is something that happened in 1994?
I moved to Dalmeny? I think?

5. What is the last thing you said aloud?
"Goodnight"

6. How many different things did you drink today?
3, coke, milk, and water

7. What color is your hairbrush?
black and wood. haha wood isnt a color.

8. What was the last thing you bought?
Mcdonalds....pizza. ew im unhealthy

9. What was the last gift you recieved for your birthday?
Simpsons Jeapordy maybe.

10. What color is your mouse?
I dont have a mouse. Im on a laptop...sooo....my finger

11. Where do you keep your change?
In my wallet.

12. What was the weather like today?
Cold. But in the evening there was like NO wind and it was cold so all the smoke from the buildings and exhaust from the cars would just linger in the air and look like...a blanket of pollution fog.....but in a pretty way....haha wow i have a way of describing things. no?

13. What is the best ice-cream flavor?
Peppermint candy cane swirl. only around christmas though

14. What is something you are excited about?
Australia.

15. When was the last rainbow you saw?
I cant recall the date. but probably the last time it rained.

16. What is your favorite gardening tool?
the...spade. cause you can cut up worms with it

17. Do you have a sister?
negative

18. Are you very random?
Mmmm. Define random. I would say to an extent

19. Do you want to cut your hair?
I just did. so no

20. Are you over the age of 25?
Nope

22. Do you watch The OC?
NO.

23. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
Yeah, well she didnt really send it to me. I just stole it off her blog, muahahah

24. Do you know anyone named Steve?
Steven Joanette....and...steve i forget his last name. but hes from new zealand and his wifes mean
"were the family that walks together!"

25. Do you make up your own words?
Probably, "its a perfectly cromulant word"

26. Are you ticklish?
Yes. very. even if your not touching me ill freak out.

27. Are you typically a jealous person?
Not...overly really.

28. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'J'?
Jessica and Joey

29. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter 'K'?
Kerri and Kurtis

30. Whos the 1st person on your recieved calls list?
I dont feel like walking upstairs just to check that.

31. What did the last text message you sent say?
I dont know. I havent had my phone in like 4 months

30. Do you drink?
Nope

33. Do you have curly frizzy hair?
No. Hahaha I almost typed yah. mines the farthest from curly

34. What is the next concert your going to?
Uhm....copeland? maybe?

35. Who is the shittiest person in your life?
What does this question even mean? did you just want to swear?

35. Who is the coolest person in your life?
I dont know. haha. no one i know is cool. haha take THAT everyone i know

36. What is something you say a lot?
"your a monster"

37. What is the last thing you ate?
cinnimin hearts that were a year old and had dust on them....but its still good its still good

38. Have you seen the movie 'Donnie Darko'?
Yep. and its one of my FAVORITES

39. Do you have work tommorow?
How about you rub it in quiz. Man. quizzes are good for making you feel bad about yourself. Make you realize you dont have a boyfriend OR a job...way to go

40. Is marriage in your future?
I hope so.

41. When was the last time you said 'I love you'?
dunno. Probably NEVER haha

42. What should you be doing right now?
Sleeping

43. Do you have a nickname?
yep. a few.

45. Are you a heavy sleeper?
Mmmmm not really, but if im really tired i am.

46. When was the last time you used a skateboard?
Hahahah. the one summer they made me lead skateboarding at camp. THAT was the worst.

47. What is the best movie you've seen in the past two weeks?
Smokin aces.

48. Is there anyone you like right now?
Never

49. When was the last time you did the dishes, be honest!?
Today. why would you stress to be honest on that question. I dont want my friends to know I help out around the house!!!

50. Are you currently depressed?
Well maybe I am after pulling that "job card" on me. stupid...poo face quiz.

Running on empty

You know when your driving your car. and you dont realize that your gas tank is empty and your gas light comes on? Then you panic and try to get to a gas station as quick as humanly possible and as your pulling up, you coast in on the fumes?

Yeah. thats me right now.

I give this week three thumbs....in my eyes

All I ask is that someone listens. Is that so hard?
Apparantly that task is too much to ask of some people.

WOW with steph....heheheh....

Me and Jess were talking a while ago about how ignorant people can be towards there own beliefs.

Maybe that sentence didn't make sense the first time through. Let me show you what I mean

Some people grow up in a certain setting. I'm going to use a christian household as an example to save time. ( and its something most people can relate to )
So anyways. People grow up being told what to believe by there parents or by an alternate source such as a "pastor". Not necessarily wrong things, but things that are the only options presented to you none the less. So you grow up, thinking that thing that your taught is the right thing, Not questioning the belief for a moment or even questioning WHY you believe it, but accepting it because that's all you have ever known.

But what we were talking about how its..I dont know...better. To question your beliefs, You know? Its better to stop and look at what you've been taught and ask yourself if you truly trust that everything your taught is true. That everything your taught is something you agree with or is there some aspects you just dont like the sounds of? Now I dont mean taking a religion and twisting it to your liking. to suit yourself, But I mean you have to ask yourself why you believe it. Is it because you choose to really believe it. or is it because its the only thing you know.
One thing that really makes me mad is when people say they believe in something. but they dont know why.

Which is why, personally I think its easier to be in my situation. Not around a ton of christian influence, because I chose to believe it and didnt have someone else choose it for me. Its a genuine belief because I've explored other options and questioned the things I believe now. and I can now say I know why I believe in the things I do. because even after questioning everything I still believe it, it still came out on top and it makes the most sense to me. Its something I now find the most fulfilling. And I honestly dont think you can truly appreciate it until you've done so.

But maybe thats just me. and maybe I said belief so many times I dont even recall the meaning anymore, also maybe this is the half asleep ramblings of my mind because I have to stay up until 2 30 to pick up my brother from work....Oh well. this is what works for me.

Three cheers for blizzards! ( we should consider getting a screen. no?)

Search for a hooligan. Part 1

Alright you guys. Seriosly, Someone has it in for my family I think. and im going into ultra super ninja spy mode from now on to find the culprit.
Twice I have come out of my house and came upon flat tires on two seperate cars. What the dealio!

I brought scotts tire into the shop here in Dalmeny ( which is absolutly horrifying by the way ) and he just informed me that the tire wasnt popped or had a leak. someone let the air out.
Well thank you whoever you are. thats not destructive. its just extremly annoying and inconvienient.

I thought that was the end of that but I came out this morning and a tire was flat on the intrepid! not quite all the way flat so i drove * very pissed off* to the shop and filled it up.

crazy hooligans. when will they learn that if you REALLY wanna piss someone off you smash a window or knife the tire. I mean.....wait...ignore that. yeah if you wanna piss off someone you just do something they can fix without cost *shifty eyes* yeah...thats what i meant.
If i catch whos doing this ima bust a cap!

Unless they confess of course * looks in jess's direction* haha

I give in.

Fine, are you happy? I changed to the new blogger. Only because I got kicked off the life on trial blog. haha


But anyways. Funny story. well....funny or sad. you decide
me and jess reverted back to a grade 7 mentality tonight and went out scoping. Haha. yes. we ARE that lame. thanks for asking. but thats not the sad part. oh no, not even a little bit
the sad part is we literally went to 4 ( because market mall doesnt count ) places. to scope for guys. Starbucks, Tim hortons, Mcdonalds and A&W hahahaha. and the results got worse as the night went on. resulting in NO boys at the last location. it was pretty fun though hahaha.

Yah. thats right. We need boyfriends QUICK

Im now regretting telling the entire interweb about this. but hey. its what i do.

Freedumb

"I belive that apathy and self interest will be the death of our nation, and it will happen sooner than anyone could imagine"


I dont think I'v ever visited a site and seen something that I fully 200% agree with more than this picture.

Our nation is going in a downward spiral of ignorance and selfishness.,its only getting worse.
People are caring less and less for people around the world , not to mention in their own community. Now a days you will more commonly get a glare, the finger, a honk, or something yelled at you rather than a smile.
People dont care about issues such as poverty, homelessness, gangs, disease and drugs in their own community so what makes you think people are going to muscle up the energy to do something about a problem halfway around the globe?
Everyone is too caught up in their lives , not sparing an ounce of energy on someone else wether it be holding open a door or volenteering at a homeless shelter, not sparing a penny because God forbid they cant buy that new pair of designer shoes they've been eyeing for some time because they just gave the money to a charity.
And this is just on the topic of our own community. Why dont I ever see big organizations who make millions doing something good and donate to a charity or good cause. Or more importantly, why dont I ever see individuals doing so?

Not saying NOBODY does anything for good causes or people in need. Because there are alot of people who do. and thats great I admire those who are taking the extra effort to help out. But the number of people who could care less about the world out-numbers the ones who do.

If we keep up this downward spiral of ignorance pretty soon no ones going to know about HIV/AIDS in Africa, There not going to know about the Genocide happening in Darfur. People are going to forget about the Hurricane victims of the Hurricane Katrina who still need our help. Global warming will become a myth. Or even worse. They will remember it. Just be too apathetic towards the whole situation and pull the " Well why cant someone else handle it?" " I shouldnt have to be responsible for something that doesnt concern nor affect me"

I was actually viewing a message board the other day. and the topic was on the earths carrying capacity and if the earth could handle its current rate of consumption ( food , gas, resources, ect ) and the possibility of resources running out. and this was one persons response to the isssue.
"Of course it can't, but I don't give a shit as long as the resources run out after I'm dead."

THIS is the very reason our society is going down the loo. Its responses like that, regarding a major issue that is very real , makes me doubt the intellegence / lifespan of humankind as we know it. Because as much as we'd like to disagree, theres far more of THOSE people then people who will do something about it.

Im not saying im the perfect human being. Im not saying I do all that I can do to help those in need. Im not even saying im not one of those people who completly forget about everyone who isnt within arms reach.
Because I know that I could be doing more, I rarely give to charitys, I volenteer occasionally, but only when its convienient for me. and when its something I think could be fun.
Im not perfect. Thats my point. And this whole realization has been nudging me to try to make a difference. Not to go as far as to cure AIDS but, start with something smaller.
Awareness is a major part of curing/solving/helping.
We need to find out about this stuff and tell people.

I wish ignorance wasn't bliss. Ignorance should be painful.

Being attractive is overrated

Thats right my friends, a triceratops.




Anyways. that picture had nothing to do with anything. nor does the title but hey. What are you gonna do? shoot me?

So today, ...I dont know. Felt good to say the least. Its been a while since I could say that and it feels nice.
I had a dream last night. ( first one in a while mind you. I think works prevented me from dreaming or something ) I wont go into the details of it but I took it as a sign that my life isnt going in the right direction and people who care about me have noticed. and are wanting to help out.
Not like im a renagade and am getting drunk everynight ( or ever for that matter ) but you know, im not who I used to be. And if you know ( or should I say "knew" ) me, i think you'd agree.
I DO like the people im friends with now. I really do. Love them to peices. But sometimes I think I need that...familiar,.....I dont really know what it is about the old crew. but whatever it is. its genuine. All the time. Not when they feel like it, not when they have to. But its because thats just how they are. genuine. I dont think I can put it more simply than that.
I had something tonight I needed. I had a girls night with girls who care about me. I miss those nights. and I had a ton of fun. I dont know why I ever left that. It wasnt intentional thats forsure if any of you girls are reading this.
I dont know how or why it happend. But im sorry. I dont want to lose you girls again. I dont wanna lose ANYone again. Your too good to me. I dont want my life to get in the way of that again. And if you guys still want I want alot more nights like that.

Im not ready to give up on who I used to be. But I want to work on the new me too. I have changed yes. but, some parts for the better and I just need to decide which is which. What I can do without and what I cant live without.

THIS will be a trip.

New years survey

1. What did you do this year that you've never done before?
Alot of things. some things im not proud of. Some things I am

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I dont remember my resolution for last year. But this year it will definatly be to do more internet surveys . haha because I clearly havent done enough.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth this year?
Katie!

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope

5. What countries did you visit this year?
zero.

6. What would you like to have in the next year that you lacked this year?
Money, and ambition

7. What date from this year will remain etched upon your memory - and why?
The entire summer for me. Mostly the lake weekend. So many friends gained and lost. It was a happy sad kind of thing. But this summer has definatly been one of the best of my life by far.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Winning the photography competition I entered

9. What was your biggest failure of the year?
Uhm, probably not saving up enough money to go to australia in January

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Probably like. colds and the flu. But thats all I can recall

11. What was the best thing you bought this year?
All my wicked awesome cd's.

12.Whose behavior merited celebration (a public or private personality)?
I dont really understand this question. That or I dont know how to answer it.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Oh I could think of a few people. But im not naming names.

14. Where did most of your money go this year?
Gas and Australia

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about this year?
The lake. Leaving two weeks after this year ended.

16. What song will always remind you of this year?
Soco amaretto lime by brand new

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
- happier or sadder?
- richer or poorer?
- thinner or fatter ( I think, im not even sure )

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Saving my money

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Spending my money

20. How did you spend the holidays?
at my house with my family

21. Did you fall in love this year?
No i dont think so

22. How many one-night stands did you have this year?
365...I mean...0

23. What was your favorite TV program for the year?
As always. The simpsons!

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Oh probably

25. What was the best book you read this year?
Screwtape letters

26. What was your favorite film of the year?
Does it have to be made in this year? if not. garden state or waking life

27. How would you describe your personal fashion concept this year?
a little bit of everything. "whatever i finds i keeps"

28. Whom did you miss this year?
Carrie, Braden, kurtis when he was in the dominican

29. Who was the best new person you met this year?
Joey then rob

30. What are your wishes for 2007
That ignorance wouldnt be bliss. but it would be painful

31.Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned for this year.
DONT PROCRASTINATE!!! if you want something you have to get up off your ass and do it.

Wheres 32?

33. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Sufjan Stevens and The Decemberists by FAR

34. What did you want and get?
An Ipod nano

35. What did you want and not get?
A digital SLR but I wasnt really counting on it

37. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 18 and I spent the evening at my house with some friends. playing simpsons jeapordy

38. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Knowing im leaving in 2 weeks. but im not.

40. What kept you sane?
Music, my friends in the summer

41. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Dilbert

42. What political issue stirred you the most?
So many, and not any.

WHY are there SO many missing??

45. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year
“There’s reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last.”
"Heres to the nights we felt alive. heres to the tears you knew youd cry"
"I wanna stay 18 forever, so we can stay like this forever"

iFraud ( happy birthday Jesus )

Not that I wanted to make this post about the idealistic aspect of christmas. Im not normally one to be materialistic and all that stuff, But this was a little bit too funny to pass up.

So this morning yah im unwrapping presents. I get to my parents gift to me and im expecting the iPod nano they were giving me for my birthday and christmas. I happily unwrap it thinking im finally able to carry something more convienent at work. hip hip huzzah!
Anyways so yeah I open it. And I look inside and sure enough. theres my mp3 player. Hoozah
Except....
It looks a little diffrent. (such as no touch wheel and no hold button )But it still says apple ipod on it so I think to myself oh pfft thats ok. its probably just the new version I heard they came out with. So im not thinking much of it until I tried putting music onto it.
First of all the manual was in broken english and my computer wouldnt recognize the software. So I thought...weird
I finally figured out a way to put on music and I tried listening to it and the menu is all screwed up, NOTHING like an iPod should be. so finally I was like oooooook whats going on. And I looked it up on the net and found out it was a conterfeit mp3 player.
Yay for Illegal presents on christmas!


This is it. Mines white though. Haha

Inspi(red)

Alot of stuff I've been reading/hearing/seeing lately has left me inspired.

Inspired to do what? I dont know. Ha, When do I ever know? Im retarded like that. I have this uncontrolable urge to do something but I never know what it is. Ever. And when I do know things always ALWAYS fall through or I just give up. Its cool. Maybe I should change that

Maybe its just nice to see people who give a damn, people who know what their passions hopes and dreams are and go for it.
Maybe its nice to see everyones not a tangled mess like me and actually have there mind figured out and arent afraid to try something they've wanted to do. Weather it be writing a song, starting a band, or trying to make a diffrence in the lives of others less fortunate than we are.
Maybe its nice to see that the human race isnt totally hopeless and gone to waste.
Maybe I want to be somebody like that. Or be like that again. Who knows?
I know I dont.


I like to think that I have myself figured out. But newsflash! I really dont.
( what a suprise )

Would you like that supersized?

Ambition,
ambition is a tricky thing.
It’s like riding a unicycle over a dental floss tightrope over a wilderness of razor blades.
Ambition can backfire.
Ambition means more,
ambition means faster,
ambition means better.
What if you could supersize – can you supersize ambition?
Does that make you ambitious to supersize ambition?
Around here, our ambition hurts more than it helps.
See, around here, our ambition throws a non-perishable item into the donation box at Christmas
and pats itself on the back because it thinks it’s done something decent.
Yeah, we’re supersizing ambition.
Make no mistake about it.
(It’s alright, sooner or later)
Ambition will televise the revolution,
and it will sell more commercial spots than the Super Bowl,
the Olympics,
the World Series,
and the tragedY DE JOUR combined.
We’re supersizing,
we’re supersizing the record,
because we’re ambitious.




Yay Leah and lending me wicked awesome cd's . Yay Matt Good
Yay

Sufjan instead of city sounds

Well, I conquerd myself for a moment, but that moment was quickly taken away from me.
My fights not in the flesh but in the spirit, and thats the worst kind, it feels like im slowly being defeated, thrown on to a merry go round about to be hurled into the mericlous eternity of outer space ( although the trip would be cool until the enevitable exploding of my head )

Im getting lost and left behind in a world of petty cash, news flash, and white trash. Im left alone with my head at night to think...I have too much time to think about what will happen, what could happen, what could HAVE happend and my worries about tommorow. I try to stop but Im still left laying in bed staring at my ceiling. waiting. hoping for the stars to come down on me. Im losing my mind

Why is it that anxiety stress and panic are more common to me around Christmas than a good fun merry Christmas spirit?



I sat on a bench beside the road today for an hour, drowning out the city traffic with the soothing tunes of Sufjan Stevens. People were looking at me weird and I didnt care. I was getting wet with the mucky melted snow being tossed up from the tires, and I didnt care. I was cold. and my butt and feet were wet from my poor attempt to get past a snowbank to the bench and another poor attempt at brushing off the snow from the seat. but I didnt care.
For at that exact moment, everything was ok, everything was peaceful and for once I wasnt busy thinking ...and that was fine.

Malfunction. Self destruct in 3..2...1

So you know. I had a pretty overall bad day. But hey. Im sticking to my motto and I dont care what my mind tells me im GOING to be happy OK!?


Ill let these Jacks Mannequin lyrics speak for me.


Finally, I'm letting go of all my downer thoughts
In no time there'll be one less sad robot
Looking for a chance to be something more than just metal


Im feeling a li-it-tle - rob-it-tron-ic lately. I dont feel like myself and the reason for that is routine. routine is satan and it leaves me no time to be myself. express myself the ways I want to. Be spontaneous and awesome.
Well i mean routine isnt the ONLY culprit.... iv lost all my drive and ambition to do anything
im drained from working at my horrible...HORRIBLE job that I hate with the intensity of a thousand burning suns....I need to find something to strive for ..something new.


I need to be repaired

Im on a blog rampage

Just lettin you all know that I set up a seperate blog for Australia just so i can update everyone on whats goin on with me before I leave and also when im there

Check out www.talesofasaskatchewanpirate.blogspot.com

Fate likes to play a little game with me called " up yours steph!"

Question: What demon from the depths of hell created tuesdays
Answer : Monday. It couldnt fit all the suffering into one day so it had a baby



Crap crap crap crap crap crap


My brother TOTALLY cant cosign for me. SCREW YOU JACS VIDEO!!!!!!


I wanna crawl into bed and sleep for years.

I uh.....like?... saskatchewan

Ill be leaving all this in January SUCKERS....

Ok. Winter rules

Wow yesterday morning was just insane pretty. I feel sorry for everyone NOT getting up at 6. ( actually thats a lie ) But it was awesome none the less.
I was driving to work and there was a very thick fog that blanketed the trees with BEAUTIFUL hoar frost. Im sure you all saw the after effects of that once you all woke up...
But in the morning it was so eerie how everything just crept out of the fog and disappeard just as quick as it came, like it wasnt even there in the first place. I kinda felt claustrphobic though not being able to see anything but white past a 3 feet radius.
I was highly questioning where I was. If I wasnt from here I wouldnt know where i was going cause all I could see of any signs were just a haze.
I just wish I had my camera with me. I should start carrying it wherever I go.

This is one of the things that I dont hate about winter. I can whine and complain until my head asplodes but as soon as I see something as pretty as that I just have to stop and be like...ok you win. winter rocks

Life list

I know its my second ( technically 3rd but I deleted the last post ) post of the day. I dont know what to do with myself anymore....

ANYWAYS. I wanted you all to see my life list and what I have accomplished because im just bored like that...
The ones I have completed are in bold ....clearly


1. Be my own boss
2. Start my own photography buisness
3. Sell one of my photographs I took
4. Learn how to surf
5. Travel to Australia
6. Have a sponsor child
7. Own a room with a view
8. Create something people admire
9. Be "the" photographer for someones wedding
10. Ride in a hot air balloon
11. Do missions work on another continent
12. Do missions work in my own community
13. Witness an obvious physical miracle of God
14. Learn how to drive a standard
15. Get a picture I took get published in a magazine
16. Get a picture I took get published in a newspaper
17. Learn how to play guitar ( well )
18. Learn how to play piano
19. Have a major impact on someones life
20. Recieve a paycheck from a steady job
21. Submit a photo into a competition
22. Win that competition
23. Get married
24. Go to college/university/take a class of sorts
25. Own a great peice of art
26. Sleep under the stars
27. Be featured on the cover of a magazine
28. Meet someone I admire
29. Finish my sketchbook
30. Stop procratinating
31. Write my life story
32. Improve my posture
33. Get a tattoo
34. Go on a roadtrip with no pre-determined destination
35. Live passionatly
36. Learn to read music
37. Send a message in a bottle
38. Plant a tree
39. Write the novel I know I have inside me
40. Learn to juggle
41. Attend a huge rock concert
42. Eat at the samurai
43. Visit a ghost town
44. Visit the crooked trees
45. Get a t-shirt made at Shamatta
46. Fly first class
47. Try colourd contacts
48. Ride a train
49. Truly appreciate life
50. Ride on a motorcycle
51. Make a new list because I have finished this one




Wow i need to do more with my life....I REALLY havent accomplished that much, But i can see at least like...20 of those being crossed off while im away..so thats ok

Out of order

So im sitting here after a VERY eventful morning which results in me NOT going to work because I hate my cars metal guts.
But thats not the point.
Lately I haven't really felt like myself. You know? The creative imaginative steph we all know and (hopefully) love. I just feel like an empty shell thats doing nothing for her creative mind and its slowly shrinking and dissappearing everyday.
This whole situation is more depressing than anything I can think up right now.... If this was like 2 months ago I could have taken teri's advice and very successfully made my job fun. I always had a way. But instead I contemplate my very existance while im there ( not really THAT bad but I dont make it as fun as I could )
I used to take pictures like a madman, like almost everyday and now im not bothered to even charge my batteries.
WHATS MY PROBLEM!?

I just wanna take a week off work and go to town. I wanna make a sanctuary out of my room and just draw/paint/write/scapbook/take pictures, ANYTHING to feed my need for creativity.

Heck, I have the day off today. Why dont I go make the most of it.

Sionara suckers im off to find the Steph we all once knew.

Halloween tragedys

It never fails.


This is halloween pumpkin carving at my house EVERY year.


*carving* doo doo doo this doesnt look too bad. it might turn out half decent this year.
Oh look. a little peice hanging off ill just get th-*MASH* - *knife slips* - *pumpkins face gets mangled by knife*
NOOOOO!!!
ok calm down...i can just shove the peice back where its supposed to b-*MASH* (more broken off) NOOOOOO!!!!


ALWAYS at the last possible thing i could have possibly cut out.


I hate halloween

You know what I hate?

Man, heres a collection of things that reaaallly make me want to ram my head into a wall over and over and over again when people say them.
Even sitting here thinking about it, makes me want to punch everything within arms length
in no praticular order

"Well thats just your opinion"
This is some peoples way of backing up there crappy arguments / likes.
When someone says this I just wanna boot there butt back to last week because OF COURSE its my opinion. thats why I said it!

"Whatever floats your boat"
The principles of bouyancy float MY boat. I dont know about yours...

"May or may not be"
people use this when they say, "this may or may not be true" As if there was some sort of secret third option that im not aware of.
Thanks for pointing out the only two possiblilties on the universe

"Sorry...but" or " no offense"
This is used in an unintellegent fight between usually girls and one of them has the nerve to say " im sorry to say, but the results are back and..... your stupid"
If you think someones stupid. Just say it. We all know you mean some sort of harm or you wouldnt be saying it in the first place

"Get to the back of the bus"
This is the worst when mature 40 year olds say this. WHAT? what bus are you talking about? Are we still in elementry school or what? If you want me to get to the back of the line. tell me to get to the back of the line and quit thinking your soooo clever.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmm"
I have to say this is the WORST when your in restaraunts and the person behind you feels the need to make some sort of audible noise to make sure the waitress isnt going to walk away without taking their order.
The noise of the moron..


Anytime someone asks you something but doesnt let you answer
for example
"you know what i love...cookies"
Well you didnt give me anytime to answer now did ya? I thought this was some sort of game and you ruined it for me

"Some of the best things in life are free"
Yah but so are the worst. you dont see me throwing a party when someone gets a terminal illness

"WAZZZZZUUUUUUPPPP!!"
no explanation needed


Im done Im getting worked up

Life: 10 billion Steph: 1

AH HA! in your freaking face life!
My premonition came true! this week IS better.
Yeah me and Janelle totally both got jobs at comfort inn doing housekeeping!
8.50 an hour isnt too bad so im PRETTY pumped.
Yay...

My prescription?,...Modest mouse

Last week I kind of let the world knock me down and keep me down.
But tonight is the end of that. Tomorrow morning is a brand new week and I will be back full force and ready to take on the world. (even though sunday is technically the first day of the week)
I truly hate being unemployed and I hate all of this lollygagging around I have been forced into. Its been a week I would just like to remove from the recordbooks I know that for sure.

But hey. Things happen no? Life happens and things will only get better from here im sure of it.


Speaking of which. I've recently realized that I have found my offical cheer up song. Iv known about it for years but I've never taken the time to actually listen to the lyrics for some reason.
I finally did and realized how incredibly encouraging they are..

Example.

Well, a fake Jamaican took every last dime with a scam
It was worth it just to learn some sleight-of-hand
Bad news comes don't you worry even when it lands
Good news will work its way to all them plans
We both got fired on the exactly the same day
Well we'll float on good news is on the way

...

Aliright don't worry even if things end up a bit to heavy
we'll all float on alright


Im trying to let this be an example of how I want my thinking to be from now on.
I always thought it was stupid for people to stress out and dwell on fickle things, Im naturally an easygoing person so you think this trait would come naturally to me. Nope. Its gonna be hard to work on but I want this mindset so bad im willing to change.
Plus, It feels so much better to not be stressed out and be losing sleep over things that will always work out in the end.

Im not in control and I have to accept that and just go along with the ride....and boy its been one hell of a ride. But I dont regret a second of it.

Everything I wanted to say and more

Heres 14 things Iv always wanted to say to some people. Some of them you might be able to figure out. The ones you cant, im afraid you may never know
All these statements are left nameless. hopefully you know who you are when I say them
( some are directed to those who dont even read my blog...just so you know )

1. I love you like a sister. Im sorry for all the stupid things Iv done. Dispite the fact that all reason says we shouldnt be friends your the one friend I never want to let go. I know its hard to belive me now but please try to trust me. I screw up. Its what I do, and I love you for always forgiving me. Thanks.

2. Im sick of you and your games. Im over you. completly.

3. Im so sorry you wouldnt even belive. Its all my fault I know and I tried to fix things and i feel like im being pushed away. but im not letting go. not now. I just want you to realize I cant do everything in this friendship to fix it, Im scared its too far gone. Please assure me otherwise?

4. Be yourself. If you even know who that is anymore.

5. Im happy for you but secretly jealous, and I hate that.

6. I love you but I hate your choices. Smarten up, im really worried your not going to come home one night.

7. I really love you man, and im glad were friends now. but start caring for other people before you screw up the one who loves you most.

8. Iv known you for 3 months and I feel like iv known you forever. Your halarious and always a pleasure to be around. youve been through alot and I really admire some of your choices youve made, it makes me wish I would have. please dont change. except dont get upset so easy. change that

9. Your the funniest kid on the planet. Your cute and Im really glad were friends now. go alpha brainwave team!

10. Pretty much 12 years of friendship and I feel like you still hate me sometimes. I dont like the scrappy brother/sister relationship we have. treat me like a friend not your annoying sister. Although Im glad we can still tolerate each other after this long, your a funny guy.

11. I dont get why everyone hates you so much. I really enjoy you, maybe im just not around you enough but your one of the nicest/down to earth guys i know. except when your really immature. but what guy isnt?

12. Your my music human double, and you have a great sense of humor, the card you gave me is taped in the back of my journal. that was some of the nicest things anyones said to me. thank you so much I dont think iv ever told you how much that inspires me in a day.

13. Get your head out of the clouds and come back down into reality. Look around and pay attention to what people are saying or you might miss something. Your a smart guy so stop acting stupid.

14. I LOVE you. Your a sweetheart and one of my best friends. Im really glad you trust me as much as you do and youve been through alot but know that im ALWAYS here for you through the rest of it no matter what. I really appreciate all youve done for my family when no one else would.


Im sorry if that passed by over anyones head. If it did this wasnt really meant for you.
haha meant in the nicest possible way of course

R.I.P. Booster juice uniform

Thats right, I got fired today!

It wasnt out of bad workmanship or stealing or you know..the common things to get fired over, Oh no. It was much more stupid than that

My dads driving me to work because he didnt want me to drive on the bad roads
He has to turn around because the roads are so icey.
*calls into work *

Me-Yeah I wont be able to make it in. my dads driving me and he has to turn around. we almost hit the ditch 3 times going 50 theres no way i can make it in its way too icey

Girl I work with- Oh ok. ill just call Hilary

*4:00*

*phone rings*

Yah hey steph its Hilary. Im afraid that you working at the stores isnt working out. Ill be more than happy to give you a referance though.....good luck



Uhm.....what?
This is the best day of my life. 3 months till Australia...0 jobs
Steph-0
Life-10 billion and one

The crane wife

Im sure none of you who come here regularily really care...BUT!

Alas! The Decemberists finally came out with there new album! ( although, i use finally very loosely because...I didnt exactly know they were coming out with another one )
And unlike alot of albums lately that iv bought this one is jammed pack of pure solid gold

I heard the track " when the war came " on CFCR as I was driving home from work and my stereo was cranked and my jaw was dropped.
I tought to myself " Hey, this sounds alot like the decemberists..only..better..and diffrent"
And to my astonishment the announcer said its from there new cd and i was like...uh...must buy.

So about an hour after I got home I headed right back into saskatoon to get it.
The second I put it in I was overly satisfied and spent the next hour or so listening to the cd with the jacket in my face reading the lyrics.

Laura veirs is a guest voice and does a duet with Colin on the track "yankee bayonette". That almost made my head asplode. I dare you not to love it...go on... I TRIPLE dog dare you!

But seriosly. Last song on the cd called " sons and daughters" as lame as it sounds they ACTUALLY have a round at the end of the song. and hey, I dont expect you to be like " COOL!" But quite possibly the best ever. iv never actually heard that in a good song.
Belive me. It can be done

But anyways. im done profressing my love for the decemberists.
I only have one beef with them.
North American Tour....No Saskatchewan! WHAT!? well....I guess I kinda saw that coming

What goes down on thanksgiving every year

*grabs a heaping plate of a mound of mashed potatoes, a pile of corn and half the turkey*
*devours it all*
"Holy crap im full, I couldnt eat another bite!.............................Hey!, theres pie!"



Mhmm...thanksgiving is such a north american holiday

(the government having a meeting)
Lets have a holiday which main purpouse is for people around the country to stuff there faces with as much food as they possibly can instead of helping out other needy countries with there starvation problems

Its north american we-have-alot-of-food-and-you-dont weekend!

Happy turkey day

So it turns out I dont have to spend thanksgiving away from my family and giving my dog away

We get to keep bear until christmas!! yay!

Mmm....Hmmm.....

I thought I told myself I wasnt going to write down my dreams anymore when im half asleep.
I lied I guess

I woke up this morning and found this written in the middle of my dream journal for some reason


Fill it up
forgot
got out of car and got roastbeef myself


What...?

In the backseat

"So in the end, was it worth it?
Jesus Christ. How irreparably changed my life has become. It's always the last days of summer and I've been left out in the cold with no door to get back in.
I'll grant you I've had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by when they're busy making grand plans for it.
Throughout my lifetime I've left pieces of my heart here and there. And now, there's almost barely enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceeded my talent.
There are no more white horses or pretty ladies at my door. "

-Blow

Oh inverted world!

Do you want the bad news first or the good news?


Bad news- I had pretty much the worst day ever today, Im not even going to begin to describe it because i know no one wants to hear it.
Long story short- Flat tire.
getting up at 7 to go and listen to some lady for an hour and a half about immunizations and how much they are going to be ( SOOO expensive )
last minute photo developing gone horribly wrong,
waiting an hour in extra foods as a result of that,
co workers not showing up for work during lunch rush.
not eating.
not getting home until 7 when i was supposed to be home at 530.
sausages for supper.
laptops "r" breaking off


ok so maybe i did begin to describe, but you still dont care haha

*groooooan*

Good news? I bought two good cds today
the new pornographers- twin cinemas
the shins - oh inverted world

aaand my photography mentorship is tommorow!...
I dont even know what to expect though. They told me to bring 6 other pictures with me and I feel like i have to compare to the ones i won with.
im really nervous about it and all the other people who are there with me. i hope there not like..overly really superiour to me.


Maybe ill find a artsy boy there i can date ( haha right jess? ) one can only hope.
After all. I deserve it, no? haha

Its ALLLIIIIVVVEEEE!!!!

I finally posted on life on trial!...ch-ch-check it out
www.themenacesociety.blogspot.com
seriosly. this sites the best thing since garlic bread. which wasnt praticularily that good, but thats not the point
or maybe it is....

quiz quiz quiz quiz

im bored. can you tell?


01.Your name plus a Y?
stephy (* angry face* )

02.Two feelings at the moment?
cold.... and nostalgic

03. What are you listening to right now?
Low - coldplay

04. A part of a song lyric that's in your mind?
what if you should decide, that you dont want me there by your side

05. Last person you hugged?
mmm....alyssa ...probably, nope, matt

06. The highlight of your week?
starting at booster juice

07. What are you craving to have right now?
booster juice...haha

08. Any unforgettable childhood memories?
oh lots...playing animals with katie and alyssa braun, horseback riding with katie

09. A not-so-good childhood memory?
plenty..me almost dying falling down a slide,. now its funny. its on tape even

10. What are your nicknames?
stephi ( i hate that one ) meff, teffy, teff, steve, stevie, stevie wonder, pep

11. Your plans for tomorrow?
go to work

12. Your plans for today?
youth sponsoring...mmm...eating?

13. Are you thinking of someone right now?
yes!

14. Do You Think Someone is thinking of you?
most likely not

15. Have you got a job?
yepp and i love it!

17. Say something to the person who posted this before?
Uh cora. i know what soapy means. your doomed

18. What do you want?
to be warm and not wet, i hate sprinkle rain

19. are you happy?
sure

20. Do you like anyone?
i doubt it

21. Do you miss anyone right now?
yes.

22. Describe where you are right now?
on my bed in my room. that was tough

23. What do you like about the night?
stars, the northern lights. i come ALIVE haha

24. If you were on a farm what would you want to see?
alot of horses and dogs,....and ducks, maybe even a pond with a tireswing.

25. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
a marine biologist. haha

26. Last gift received?
a tennis ball from joey. although i wouldnt really consider that a gift

27. Did you like it?
sure, i keep it in my purse

29. Do you play an instrument?
i can but i dont really anymore

30. sweet or sour?
sweet

31. Your good luck charm?
i dont have one. but if i had to pick. my plastic dinosaur named chili boots

32. Person you hate most?
i dont hate anyone.

33. Who makes you laugh the most?
jess and janelle, kendall, brennan

34. What makes you smile?
memeories, people mostly...

Hometown:
dalmeny, SK

Height:
5'1 im...pretty sure i lose.

Hair color:
dark brown

Hair Style: (wavy/curly/straight):
striaght

Eye color:
brown

School:
well...i graduated from DHS

Friends:
oooooh, im not naming them all. the only one who rOXxOrs the most is jess probably. haha

Finish the sentence:

2. I am listening to
the mars volta

3. Maybe I should...
get dressed into normal clothes and not purple booster juice clothes

Where's Number 4?
your momma ate it

5. My best friends...
Jess, Carrie and Alyssa. im pretty sure there the best

6. I don't understand...
why some people put themselves in situations where they know there gonna get hurt
Why people dont say stuff to my face

7. I lost...
my mind. bahaha i bet THAT was original!
but seriosly? my frog that i kept in my room

8. People say...
alot of gibberish

Harvest-mlarvest Moon-shmloon

I went off to Harvest Moon this last Friday, and let me tell you it was ever so much fun.

It started off in a neverending hunt for matt. literally. we still dont know where he is. Thats a little weird but beside the point.
Anyways because of that major glitch our take off time was...delayed by 3 hours at least. and ended up being just me and Kendall driving all the way to edmonton.

The festival started at 630 and we arrived at his cousins house at 8.
We were ready to go and watch MewithoutYou until Cody ( kendalls cousin ) decided he wanted some Burger King.
So we stopped and ate in for some reason and all the while we came to the conclusion that it was the slackest BK on the planet. Alternative music pumping througout the entire restaraunt and the manager hooting and hollering in the kitchen.
Dispite that fun adventure I was pretty dang upset because we missed mewithoutYou'sset. We didnt feel like paying 25 bucks to see there last 3 songs so we stood outside the gates like the cheap losers we are.
From what I heard outside they were pretty incredible. just as i expected. except for january 1979 that was ...ok

We went back to codys and watched fear and loathing in las vegas and i fell asleep on THEE creakiest bed in the world. This is my impression.
*moves fingers* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!!!KACHUNK!

Running low on sleep we ran out the door the next morning to catch tuxedo mask, who rocked as usual. I even bought a shirt. I will post a picture soon because it rocks so much.
We left after them for a bit to go shop around not as west ed because the boys didnt care for riley armstrong.
We then came back to see Glory Nights. Dont really remember much besides that they were decent.
Then was Jacob and Lily, except those werent there names at all. Not even close. but all i can remeber is the guys name and his name was Caleb.
Anyways the girl had an INCREDIBLE voice and the dude played that...box drum where you sit on it. I was very impressed with their set. check them out if you have a chance.
Then we saw a bit of joy electric and then left. and went by a duck pond outside of the area but we were still within ear shot unfortunatly. ( the joe and pigeon john are hip hop artists i didnt praticularily enjoy, expecially pigeon john ) and threw stuff at the ducks.

Came back for the myriad who rocked as well I was so impressed with how good they were live. for there last song "dissapointed together" one of the 3 guitar players used a bow on his guitar. SO COOL! that one was and is still my favorite by them

Then was blindside, dun dun dun DUN!! SOOO good!! there was such a massive crowd compared to everyone else and for good reason. i was smiling clapping and taping the entire time. enough said.

But this is getting long as it is so ill end with we woke up early today and went to west ed and saw a sea lion show. cool
Now im home and im sick and tired and I GOT A JOB AT BOOSTER JUICE!!
I win!
I start tommorow and im gonna puke im so nervouse

In case you havent seen my other blog...

I did win that photography competition.
Not only did I win the competition but I also got another photo as an honorable mention!
I also got an invitation along with only 5 other people to go to an all day workshop lead by a proffessional photographer...No way!!! Im so stoked out of my MIND!
This is the photo that won



This is the honorable mention




Personally I think it should have been the other way around but who cares?